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Feeling like we need a professional organizer
Hi,
I am at my wits end and so is my husband. We have many arguments about how chaotic and non-organized our home is and how hard it is to get started. We have always struggled with organization.
I don't know what to do. I feel like I need some direction. I want an organized home that is clean and simple and is easy to keep it that way. It stresses us both so much and on top of that we have a seventeen month old son that has special needs so he takes a lot of our time. I hear that professional organizers are very expensive and we don't have a lot of money to pay for them.
At the moment I am ill and have strict doctors orders to rest. My husband has been extra grouchy because the home isn't impecable and things are not getting done around the home that I usually get done, but lately haven't been because I am sick. I have been sick for a month and husband is frustrated because he gets stressed out and is complaining that he is tired of me being ill. (I have an enlarged spleen and glands and found out I have mono) By the way, husband has no sympathy for sick people and usually gets upset when he hears about it. His mother has been sick all of his life and he is tired of hearing about sickness. So this isn't something I can change about him.
He is upset because the unorganized home is stressful and now he is having to take care of our son in the evening. He complains about it every night. I feel like I need to nix the doctors orders and just do the things that need to be done just to keep from arguing with him. It is so exhausting to argue with him.
I don't know what to do and need some advice how to manage this situation.
"The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." Psalm 34:18
Re: Feeling like we need a professional organizer
First, having mono is no easy task for a body to handle. You absolutely need to rest. But I also know how hard it is for a couple with a child (especially one with special needs) to feel rested and restful in a house that isn't quite a home, yet.
Regarding your husband, perhaps he should speak to your doctor and learn more about mono online? I understand his upbringing was a certain way, but he hopefully got married "in sickness and in health," and did he honestly think that his wife would be healthy all the time? Sometimes one spouse/parnet has to pull some extra weight to get the family through a rough spot.
Can you be more specific with what actual areas need organization and improvement?
Actually, if you just have a nubulous idea of disorganization, but no idea what actually needs to be done, it can be very overwhelming.
Start with a list, by room and then by closet, and by dresser/cabinet, of what you want to store in that space.
Think of your home in zones. Then, think of each zone having separate parts. For example, this is a linen zone. On the left is the hand towels, then the wash cloths, then the body towels, then the beach towels. Then think of sheets. Then blankets. Then spare pillows.
Get all like/similar things together in one place. Just dump them on the floor. And see each closet/drawer/cabinet as a 3D puzzle. You are just trying to put everything away in a manner that is orderly, yet functional and allows you easy access to the things you use most frequently.
What areas are you two having trouble with?
Thank you for answering my post. We moved into an apartment about two months ago and it has been chaotic ever since. We are basically having issues in our bedroom, our son's room, and the office. The bedrooms are the biggest issue. We still trying to unpack and we packed up our home that we moved from in such a hurry because we were having a family issue. So the packing was disorganized and I think this may be one of our issues because we can't find what want to find therefore causing some stress.
We have a big closet in our master bedroom. The zone thing is a great idea. I don't know why I didn't think of it. One of the main things that I was working on before we left our house is that I was going through old clothing and trying to separate wants and keeps. It got all messed up when we left and now I have to start all over. The move was a rough move and hopefully we won't have to do it like that again. When we buy a house, it will be more organized.
We just want it to get our home looking like a home and feel comfortable. Thank you for the support on the illness thing. I feel like it is kicking my butt. I think my husband is frustrated because of what has happened with the family issue and the home we rented and then now I have been down for a month and not much is getting done and we are not really settled. It has been a rough month.
Thank you for all your support and advice.
The worst part of disarray is doing nothing becasue of being too overwhelmed. It starts some kind of horrible, self-loathing cycle (at least for me). LOL.
With your illness, for now, do more resting than work, but do tiny things each day to feel good about even some small progress.
I might open ne box per day and place the contents in piles in one room. As I open more boxes, start placing those contents together with your piles. By the time you get all the boxes emptied, all your stuff will be sorted and then you will just have to put away.
I have found that it is hard to organize a closet or cabinet without having all the possible contents in my reach and view...not having it all right there usually means having to redo all my work.
Thank you so much for the support. This mono is really kicking my butt. I am feeling a little better each day.
good to hear that you are able to make progress little by little!
One of the things that always gets me overwhelmed is when a messy house is paired with a messy brain! My house can be in dissaray, but if my brain is in order, then I can attack the house with no problem! If my brain is also disorderly, then all I want to do is curl up and not do any of it
That being said - one of the BEST things you can do while you're resting is to make lists, diagrams and plans, or research things online. Draw out each room as accurately as possible if you're a visual person. Consider dual purpose furniture (benches with storage, under-bed containers, shelving in closets, etc). Try to make a list of "everything in it's place" so that you know where you want to put things. Create a staging area for all your "i dont know what to do with it" items and go through those last.
For example: when we renovated our kitchen, I took the drawing of the space and wrote over each cabinet what I wanted to put inside. (top cabinet: dishes, bowls, cups. Bottom cabinet: silverware, serving spoons.....etc) This way I knew before we even started that all our kitchen stuff would fit perfectly!
Then, when you do have energy - carry out the plan! DH can assist when he has the patience and time as well...especially if he has your road map on how to do it.
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Thanks for share these tips