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Never in the mood

I have never used this site before so i guess ill just jump right in?

My husband and I have been married for over 3 years, we have been through a LOT, from cheating to me basically being his nurse for 9 months while he was bed ridden. Our relationship is strong....BUT we dont really have sex anymore.

My friends laugh when i tell them i am ALWAYS in the mood but he never is, its so backwards, i dont really know what to do and its starting to make me feel seriously low about myself.
I mean i am not overweight or have boils all over my face, he is just Never in the mood even if i beg or dress up in something that i think any guy would like...
any advice? 

Re: Never in the mood

  • doglovedoglove member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    Who cheated?
  • Hmmm, sounds like you may want to look into couples therapy.  It would mean you two actually having to talk about it, but it would be a "safe" place to get it all out there.  This way you can figure out where you guys stand and can take the steps necessary to hopefully fix the problem.  Make no mistake - THERE IS A PROBLEM.  Sexy lingerie is not going to fix whatever this is that's keeping him out of the game.  Hope this helps. Good luck to you!
    MrS. tHeRiOt
  • imagemjcharpe:
    Hmmm, sounds like you may want to look into couples therapy.  It would mean you two actually having to talk about it, but it would be a "safe" place to get it all out there.  This way you can figure out where you guys stand and can take the steps necessary to hopefully fix the problem.  Make no mistake - THERE IS A PROBLEM.  Sexy lingerie is not going to fix whatever this is that's keeping him out of the game.  Hope this helps. Good luck to you!

    This. Your relationship is not strong b/c if it was this would not be a problem. Sex is a barometer for the status of your relationship, not having it says something.

    With the issues you listed I doubt that they were throughly dealt with and should be addressed in counseling. If you cheated he may be holding a grudge and if it was him he might be guilty or doing it again. Sounds like he's had health issues that could be a reason but he should be able to communicate that to you and seek out medical help. 

    image Nicholas loved for 28 weeks, 4/11/10
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  • Maybe you and he fell into a sexual rut -- were you and he non sexually active during the time he was bedridden?

    You need to get back in the groove. As a PP suggested, a thearapist...but try a sex therapist.

    Maybe he is afraid of not being able to perform after all that time or some other psychological factor is involved.

    Sex therapist and then see how you both do. GL.:)

    I don't know who cheated but that may or may not also be a factor in all of this.
  • imagedoglove:
    Who cheated?

    This. 

    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
    TTC since September 2012
  • He cheated, for over a year.
  • "Sex is a barometer for the status of your relationship, not having it says something."

     ......is that from a fortune cookie or the Jerry Springer Show?

  • Sometimes, if you don't have sex for a while, your drive just switches off for a long time. Stress can also affect things.
  • So he cheated on you for a year, then you spend nine months nursing him to health while he was bedridden, and now he doesn't even put out?  What's in this for you?  What's the point?
    image
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