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Re: Test

  • DFico21DFico21 member
    Eighth Anniversary

    Hi all! I am having a dilemma I am hoping you can give me so advice on.  My mom offered to throw me a baby shower when I told her I was pregnant, I declined for several reasons.  I have a very large family and so does my husband, then there are close friends and coworkers which means a shower would be at least 50 people.  I had that type of bridal shower and it was really overwhelming and just not something I was comfortable with.  My SIL then offered to my husband to throw me one for their side of the family, he also declined.  My SIL and I have a unhappy history and the last thing in the world I would want is anything from her.  Finally the women who is like my husband's 2nd mom offered to throw me one (his real mom is deceased).  My husband explained that I didn't want the big thing and there was lots of family politics, she said I have to have a shower and that she was throwing me the one I really wanted with only the people I want: immediate family (his and mine), close friends and coworkers (total of 25 people tops).  She said  one can get mad at her because she isn't family.  It's supposed to be a surprise but my husband told me about it anyway.

    My Mom brought up a shower again and I told her if she really wants to she could just have a really simple lunch with our family (aunts and cousins, 10 people) at her house and that would be fine.  This is her 1st grand kid and she is really excited so I was trying to be nice to her.  Yesterday she saw my husband and told him she was so excited to have a shower lunch at her house.  When I got home last night he flipped his lid on me about it saying he thought you told her no and all mad that I turned down a shower from his family and now she is having something for mine.  He is incredibly mad and I just don't know what to do.  I was trying to make my Mom happy and now he is angry.  Do I tell her to scratch it or just let her have it and him be mad?

     

  • It sounds like you are trying to be accommodating and throw your mom a bone since your husband is allowing this surprise shower for you by his 2nd mother figure.  I'm not sure why he is mad, but I would definitely be trying to reason with him and have a conversation before you make any drastic decisions.
  • I can't believe he is mad over a shower being held in your honor. Also, it sounds like this other woman is incredibly important in his life, and his side of the family is going to be invited to that shower. I really don't see why he's so upset. 
    12/19/2012 BFP! EDD 08/26/2013
    Lots of love to my TTGP gals!
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • I mean, I personally think you went about this the wrong way because now it does seem unfair to his family. In the first place you should have told your mom and his SIL that you wanted something small (for each side) and they might have said "oh okay" and have done that. 

    Wouldn't your husband's side be who is going to the shower with the woman who is like a second mom? So there would be a shower for each side anyway? Sorry, just trying to get everything straight.

    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • jdoud77jdoud77 member

    Tell him he needs to calm down and see that a shower is being thrown for both sides of the family because that other lady is a mom-like figure. Just have his side of the family go to that one.

    "We are the music-makers, And we are the dreamers of dreams." - William Edgar O'Shaughnessy BabyFruit Ticker
  • DFico21DFico21 member
    Eighth Anniversary

    His mom figure is not related to him or his family at all - they don't even know her.  His sister, SIL, godmother and her daughter will all be invited to that shower though.  as well as the women he does business with and his female friends. 

    He also didn't want his sister to throw me anything because the rest of the family is huge, we don't see them and he really doesn't care for them. 


  • To keep the peace, just let his side throw one. He can tell them that you changed your mind. You may not like your SIL, but you love your hubs, and if this is important to him, just do it.
    January 2009: Goodbye TR (13 weeks) February 2010: Welcome DD1! March 2011: Welcome DD2! Lilypie Maternity tickers
  • imageSweetPeaK26:
    To keep the peace, just let his side throw one. He can tell them that you changed your mind. You may not like your SIL, but you love your hubs, and if this is important to him, just do it.

     

    This, Also I am sure if his family found out there was some sort of shower they were not included in then they would be hurt. He might not care much for them but they might be thrilled about the new baby. Your husband probably does not want to look like a jackasss to his family.

    I say just let them throw a shower for you too.

    BabyFetus Ticker
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