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I don't understand
What mother doesn't want her kids (excuse me, ALL her kids) on Mother's day?! MIL asked to have them Saturday night (which I don't understand, but we all know she does what is best for her). XW said yes... and her mom (their gma) didn't pick them up until 5pm Sunday. I think she works second shift, so I'm guessing she didn't see them AT ALL. I don't understand.
Also, H found out XW and her H got custody of one of his kids... so now there's XW, H, her mother, and 4 kids in a 2 bedroom living space. H got pissed, but decided not to do anything.
I think it's time to get a lawyer and start getting things in writing... because I have a feeling Lilly is putting things together and will ask us to live with us. She already hides when they pick her up at MIL's. We need a foundation to start with it...
Re: I don't understand
The Rowdy Roberts
I feel like we don't do enough because of the distance. AT least we have them Father's day and I hope to make it special for all of them.
I think you do as much as the distance and his XW will allow you to! That totally sucks about their living situation with her. It's even more annoying because you two have more time, attention and space to offer to them. Three adults and 4 kids in a two bedroom is too tight! It's awful that you have to get a lawyer for this but it may be necessary at this point. I feel so bad that Jeff doesn't get to see his kids more often
We do what we can. I just feel sad for them that the parent they are with don't seem to care.
I can't find anything in NC or their town with a building code. Some states have 2 people per room +1. So five is the max, and they are at seven. Meanwhile we have 3 empty bedrooms. I know my sister had to make a "room" for her bf's 2 kids as per the court. Thus why I think we need to get a lawyer already.
I tried to get Jeff to document everything, but he doesn't. I keep all emails from me and her, and all statements that show child support going from our account to hers. Jeff said he saved texts but I doubt that.
I lurk on the blended family on TB and one said they have spend 75K in lawyer fees and the 2K retainer goes quick. I just think they need to get things that are already agreed upon in writing (that shouldn't be too much). Even do the calculator for CS and if it's more, it's more. We'll make it work. Maybe than she can get a bigger place. I just want the kids taken care of. Lilly hides when they pick her up at MILs... it's sad. She's already asking about living in MD one day.
Update - Jeff called her and she's a-ok with getting things in writing - CS, visitation, weekly phone calls, etc. Jeff is calling the court to see if they agree with everything, do they even need a lawyer. She's also willing to meet us in Richmond for one of the drop offs next month. And we can get get them 2 weeks next summer. The first summer they got a little home sick. Last summer they were too busy at the beach to care. This year is more stayaction, day trips so we will see how they are. I don't think Lilly will get home sick, Ryan might...
I'm happy but scared something is up!
ETA - Jeff went to get the CS set up through the courts, and they had to sent her a pamphlet about the agreed amount. She never sent it back. "she never got it". She's also saying she hasn't gotten the ER bills either. But I called a month ago to make sure they had her address they said it was "going out soon, if not already..." This is why I get scared. She agreed and doesn't follow through.