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Would this bug you?
I'm currently a stay at home mom, and I don't get out much. I don't have a car and there's nothing within walking distance of me, so I only get out for walks, just me and my son. I can deal with it okay, but i start to feel crazy after a couple of weeks of only being in the house. I've been trying to get out a little in the evenings.
The thing that bugs me is that while my DH says he's supportive of me getting out more, when I actually made plans (I went to a two hour jewelry making class), he made a bunch of "jokes" about me cheating on him while I was out. This really ticked me off because a. I wouldn't cheat, b. I get out by myself maybe once a month, and c. It makes me feel like I can't go out without him giving me a hard time.
i confronted him and told him how I feel. He still claims that he supports me going out and it was just a joke. He's done this on two occasions now, and I'm not laughing.
what do you think?
Re: Would this bug you?
Is a second car an option? I am a SAHM and in the beginning it was easy to stay home with DS, it gets harder as they get older. It is important that they are able to socialize with kids their own age and learn age appropriate behaviors.
As to your DH, keep talking and keep going out. He needs to stop acting immature. Is he like that in other areas? has he joked about this in the past? He's either immature in other ways or has insecurities about your relationship (either he is insecure or has thought about it himself). You're relationship dynamic has changed due to a baby and job change, the only way to make it through is to keep talking.
Baby Boy loved for 15 weeks, 5/31/11
Baby Girl loved for 16.5 weeks. 3/1/12
My DH and I go out with our son on the weekends, I was talking about how often I get out of the house by myself. (Which is not very often, maybe once a month). We don't really go out just the two of us because we moved to a new town and don't have a babysitter. During the week I don't go anywhere because I don't have a car and there's nothing near enough to walk.
It's funny, my DH doesn't come off as a typical controlling person, he doesn't tell me I can't do things, but he definitely does passive aggressive things that make me feel like I shouldn't go out. (Like the jokes, or sulking)
Money is tight with me staying at home, but I'm pushing for a second car, even if it's not the greatest, just something to make short trips in.
The second car option is really good. Try not to get upset about his jokes or comments about you going out. The less importance you give him, the best you feel. Plus if you stop paying attention to what he says, he will stop saying it.
If you have access to a computer with internet, you should try to see what is near you. It may be interesting to search around while you wait for the new car.
This certainly sounds like a typical controlling person.
Making someone feel like they can't go out by being passive aggressive is controlling. I was hoping he was just an immature idiot, not actually passive aggressive. How exactly are you going to find baby sitters if you aren't out making friends that can recommend them? I would not be okay with the level of isolation you seem to be living. Another car is a must as soon as possible.
Can you pick up a weekend job to help out with finances? Being a SAHM is not something everyone can do, nor is it good for the mom if it eventually takes too much of a toll. You cannot live for several years with your DH as the only outlet for socialization. I am not judging and depending on your kids age, you might be at the point where you have to stay at home b/c of all the naps. That said your DH should never make you feel bad about getting away. That time only makes their lives better b/c their partner has some time to be an individual, that need doesn't stop when you have a kid. Was he always like this?
Baby Boy loved for 15 weeks, 5/31/11
Baby Girl loved for 16.5 weeks. 3/1/12
Yes, I agree.
Get a baby sitter and go out with your husband as well. Try you local church or college to find baby sitting. Time out with your husband is important as well.
Yes it would. I think if he is making jokes about you cheating on him, its probably his guilty concious!
Thanks for sharing!
I think you know him enough for understand his jokes, however if are not funny to you, try to talk to him but not getting mad, in a loving way tell him that please don?t make that types of jokes.