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Why is this all happening now?!
So, with only a month before the wedding, I don't even feel like I think I should. This is why: First of all, I got in a car accident last week, which totaled my car and now I am having back pain, which is really scaring me since I am terrified this might affect the wedding. Another thing is that, while I just started a new job after a month of not having one, I am so broke after paying off our honeymoon and there's more payments coming up! Pretty much, both me and my fiancee are both broke but more things keep coming up, like my cell phone breaking today and now we have to either get it fixed or get a new one=$$$.
We have been through so much already and now all these things are popping up and we never get to see each other because he has two jobs and I can't get a schedule that matches his....How can we even enjoy this time and be happy that we are getting married if we can't even relax and spend time with each other?! It just makes us irritated at each other all the time....
Re: Why is this all happening now?!
The last month before your wedding can definitely be stressful for all kinds of reasons, and a car accident certainly won't make it any better (I'm sorry btw, I hope you feel better soon). I would try not to beat yourselves up too much about being stressed. Have you gotten premarital counseling of any kind to help you learn why you take out your stresses on each other and how to stop it? That would be a good idea, even if you end up having to wait until after the wedding.
As for money, you've overspent for the wedding and honeymoon. Have you decided how you're merging finances when you get married yet? Have you started working on a budget? In order to pay off your debt and build up your savings so a broken phone won't send you over the edge, you need a budget.
Look back over the last few months and add up all your spending in each category: rent, utilities, phones, cable/internet, insurance, CC bills, any other debts/loan payments, gas, groceries, entertainment, eating out, clothing, etc - anything else you spend money on. Add up each category and divide by the number of months. See where you can cut back and where you can't - and start to cut back slowly where you can. Sell items lying around your house that you don't need (you'll have wedding stuff to sell soon, right?). Take all of this extra money and put it into savings, until you reach a good-sized cushion (say, $1000 - it just depends what you're comfortable with). Then start throwing more at your debts. Cash wedding gifts? All of that goes either into savings or your debts.
Good luck!
"You know you're in love when you don't want to fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams." - Dr. SeussI'm sorry you are so stressed.
As for advice, I have to agree with PP. It sounds like you may have overspent on both wedding and honeymoon. (My husband was unemployed for 6 months leading up to our wedding, so I understand how that can impact plans, but we had an amazing wedding on under 8k- we just got a lot of help from family - making the centerpeices for instance instead of ordering them)
I would absolutely get on a budget together immediately after the wedding. Do not merge your finances until then, but get together and start talking about it. When you start looking at what you spend a month on certain things it might make you ill (a couple hundred dollar Starbucks habit a month for instance- now cut totally back- I go once a week!) These would be things you can cut out of your budget completely until you have your emergency fund in place and your debts paid off.
As far as spending time with your Fiance- I understand why that would stress you to. Think long term though. If he is able to work this job for another year(or however long it takes), and you are debt free by then, he can quit, a cell phone loss won't stress you out, and you will have a lot more free time together. Sometimes this is the sacrifice required to deal with the messes we make. Make the most of the time you have together (and think cheap dates- what are the free museum days around you for instance).
Thank you both. Ya, I know we have over-spent because we thought we could, it's our special day, right? Ya, we went a little overboard, the honeymoon is what killed us. But we will definitely start a budget and will soon have to pool our finances together.
Thanks for the sympathies, I am getting my back checked out, hopefully it will all work out. I hope that once all this stress about the wedding is over we can just relax a little and focus on 'us' time. Another thing we are looking into are dance classes, my fiancee is looking into if we can afford them. That's basically where our first date was and I think it would really bring us closer together!