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Best Friends?
I have a friend who has been my best friend since we were 15. It was originally 3 of us, Me and Marlo and Mary (they are step sisters). I had the strongest bond with Marlo, we were like sisters and Mary always felt left out. Marlo went through a tough relationship and Mary and I were against it, We tried to give her advice and talk to her about it but it just pushed her farther from us. The woman that Marlo was with was manipulative and abusive lets call her Sarah. Sarah was really jealous of the relationship I had with Marlo, I guess she saw me as a threat since I was so close to Marlo. In the end Sarah told Marlo to stop talking to me or she'll never be with her. Marlo and I are no longer friends.
After Marlo stopped talking to me Mary and I still hung out and we became closer than we were before. We pretty much did everything together but there was somthing off about her. For example I always felt like I had to walk on egg shells around her because she was so quick to "stop talking to me" If I said or did something she didn't agree with, she was also one of those girls who couldn't have a social life and a new man in her life, as soon as she started dating someone I wouldn't hear from her for weeks. She was so mad that I was getting married that she stopped talking to me for 6 months, she called one day and asked me to forgive her that she was wrong and I shouldn't have but I did. Then a short time later she stopped talking to me because she felt like I ignored her birthday, which I didn't I called her and I was supposed to go out with her but she was with a new boyfriend and I honestly felt like i was interfering so I told her we could hang out the next day since she was busy. Instead of telling me "no stay, it's okay we can all go out together" she ignores me for like 2 weeks. And I had to message her and call her multiple times to get it out of her what was wrong!
I had similar problems with Marlo, if I didn't agree with her opinions she would act like I was the dumbest person for not having similar opinions. It's always like walking on egg shells with these two. If you do something they don't like they will not talk to you, that's how they solve problems! I think it has something to do with the way they were raised, because their parents are this way too, whenever they do something "wrong" their parents ignore them and they aren't even children we're talking full grown adults here.
Well I haven't talked to Mary in about 3 weeks because honestly I was tired of always being the one to initiate conversations or hanging out. The last time I did see her we had a great time and made dinner together at her house and promised to hang out soon. I called and texted her yesterday and she didn't respond and today I got on facebook and she has deleted and blocked me! I seriously have no idea what happened and I'm pretty sure she deleted me a while ago because I havent seen her posts in a while.
I don't know why I wrote this, I don't really need advice because I know I will never talk to her again. I'm just wondering has anyone else been in this bizarre situation?
Re: Best Friends?
Dude. Don't waste any more time on these people. They sound very immature and HORRENDOUS communicators. If this is really how they handle friendships (or any relationship, for that matter), they are going to find themselves very alone.
Honestly, if Mary eventually reaches out to you- if you have even an INKLING of "giving her another chance", I'd be having a very blunt conversation w/ her first. And it would consist of "This isn't how adults handle issues. If you give me the silent treatment one more time, that will be the absolute end of this friendship. It's too exhausting and I'm tired of having to walk on eggshells around you.".
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
This whole thing sounds so emotionally draining. I have a friend also who I feel like I have to "walk on eggshells" with, and it gets very old after a while.
I think if this girl really values you as you seem to value her, then she will come around with time. You shouldn't have to guess what you did wrong, and be the one to always reach out. In the meantime, try to reach out to other people and build some new friendships (I know...easier said than done!). But that way you aren't just waiting around to see if she contacts you. It's going to be tough to leave it be, but I feel like that might be best with these two. Give them a chance to miss you, and try to win YOU back.
I have not gone through this exact situation. I had one friend that stopped talking to me because she was busy with her own life and only wanted to talk to people that were local (i.e. nearby and convenient). I tried my hardest to be mature and very nice about the situation as she was going through a tough time.
I did delete her as a friend on Facebook, and I actually found that we communicated better after that, and I wasn't as hurt by her actions (she would be passive aggressive on FB). So go ahead and don't talk to her because of her past actions and you are sick of her etc. But don't worry about the FB thing. Its not real life and sometimes getting off FB can make things better.