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I'm so scared I'm going to lose him

We got married last August and have been together a little more than 3 years. He just got out of the hospital. He's really really sick. They say they can treat it for now, but he is just deteriorating so quickly. He already takes really good care of himself, so as far as lifestyle changes there just isn't anything more he can do to improve his health. 

I have been walking around in a fog. Work has become so difficult. I feel sick to my stomach all the time, and he feels guilty for putting me through this. How do I stop worrying? How do I just let it be and enjoy whatever time there is left? He is only 37. This should not be happening. 

Re: I'm so scared I'm going to lose him

  • I am so sorry.  What is wrong with him, if you don't mind my asking?
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  • He has been diabetic for about six or seven years, and he just keeps having complications. He was already blind and has had bone infections in his feet which started with a small cut or blister. The last infection reached the bone in under two weeks despite him being on oral antibiotics the entire time. It took almost a year to heal and he almost had to have part of his foot amputated.

    Last week he gained about 30 lbs in just a couple of days and then he couldn't stop coughing. He went to urgent care and it turned out he has congestive heart failure and kidney failure. He had fluid in his lungs which was making him cough. 

    The truly scary thing is that the doctors can't explain why this is happening. He maintains a healthy weight, goes to the gym six days a week and walks to and from work, and his blood pressure and blood sugar numbers are very good. But for some reason his organs and systems just keep failing. 

  • Bee234Bee234 member
    First Anniversary
    I'm so sorry.  Just the thought of losing my husband makes me feel sick to my stomach.  Watching him struggle like this must be so hard; it's certainly understandable that you are having trouble caring about other things!  I don't have any great advice, but sometimes just trying to stay busy can help distract me from really painful things.  Even if you are sick with worry, try and do as many things with him as you can; no matter what the future may bring, you'll be glad for some happy memories.  Hopefully the doctors will figure out what is wrong, but in the meantime, all you can do is your best.
  • He is not in contact with most of his family, except for one aunt, but he talked to her yesterday. I guess his younger half sister is also diabetic, and she is also blind and is close to needing a kidney transplant. So at least that answers some questions. 
  • I'm sorry you're going through this...just know he's probably very grateful to know that you're there for him and he's not alone.
  • I am not even sure what to say, but I am so sorry that you and your H are going through this. I can only imagine how difficult it must be...I will keep you in my thoughts.
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  • I'm so sorry you are going through such a difficult time! Find support in friends, family, faith, the family dog, etc. Happiness and a positive attitude cures a lot. Help him by making sure he is happy. Make it your personal mission to put a smile on that man's face every day. It will probably help you feel better as well. You never know how much time you do have with someone in this world. Make the most of it. No, it's not fair that he is only 37...I know it. Find some way to relax yourself and get a handle on what is happening so you can help him. I'm sorry :o
  • I'm not an extremely religious person, but praying to a higher power always brings me comfort. I would also try finding online support groups with people who are going thru a similar situation as you and your husband, talking it out with people who have been thru it is always enlightening. Keep positive!
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