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Moving away from family
I feel like I need to reach out and ask people that are not in my family for some input. First a little back round. I grew up in Florida my entire life my husband in Michigan. When my first was 2 we moved to Colorado for better job. Wasn't easy my family more or less threw fits and my Mother called crying all the time. Made it really hard for me to take it all in or even give it a chance. After only 4 months I gave up and wanted to be home. I really wasn't enjoying it!
Then we moved back to Fl and I couldn't stop thinking of what was actually good out there and how I may have actually liked it. My husband and I decided to give it another try. We got the same response from family mainly my mom. We ended up loving it! It was extremely hard being away from family , but after going to visit them and getting off the plane in CO I felt like I was home. 2 years there and another kid later my husband approached me with he felt like something was missing, and it was right after his mother that was too concerned with her other son visited during Christmas. So we move AGAIN back to FL.
Well now it has been about 3-4 months and I miss CO and tried talking to my mom and telling her I really loved it and really want to be back there with my family. Of course she is upset. I can't imagine the hurt I have caused her going back and forth, but I can't help to be upset that when I was out there and told her how happy I was why she couldn't be happy for me. Instead she hung up on me when I told her that in CO and didn't call me for a week. I feel like I owe it to her to stay here, but loved it out there. My oldest, 5 says she loves the snow but wants to live by her family. Talk about being torn 
Please help
Re: Moving away from family
I am no help, we moved from TX to FL and after a year here I wanna go home. FL is not home and I don't like it.
I don't care what anyone wants or says I will move home to TX soon because it feels like home. FL is great but I hate the weather, I'm not a beach person and I miss the food back home.
You only live once, live your life where you are happy. We get no do overs.
Basically what PP said.
My H & I moved to Spain and lived there for 3 years. My family was ok with the move, but my H's family didn't like it. Sadly we had to come back due to visa issues, but we have talked about going back one day. My H is actually entitled to dual citizenship, which would make it possible for us to move back without dealing with visa issues. We did the research and found this out after we came back. Any time we mention the idea of going back, my MIL freaks out and insists that we can't go back. (whatever) We are actually going in 2 weeks for holidays and are going to look into buying real estate there
OP - you and your H need to do what is best for you and YOUR family unit. If that means moving back to Colorado where you are happy, you should do it. It's not right or fair to you guys to live your lives around what your parents want. If your mom wants to have a tantrum over it, let her. It's your life, so live it.
**6.30.12** I have found the one whom my soul loves.
I moved away from home when I was 21 to Massachusetts, a place where I knew no one, but moved for my job. I'd grown up in the same house my entire life, and was an only child since my brother had died 4 years earlier. It had to be SO HARD for my parents to let their only child move 750 miles away. I'm sure they thought I'd be there 6 months and move home due to being home sick. I stayed 6 years and grew up a LOT. I had a new life, new friends, new responsibilities. I eventually did move back after 6 years, mostly because I wanted to be closer to home. But I didn't have children to consider as you do.
Fast forward to my adult life: we moved my son to the DC area when he was 21 because the graduate program he wanted to attend was there. It was hard leaving him there, but I knew it was HIS choice to do this. That was 4 years ago. He graduated, has a great job in DC, and a new girlfriend. Her family lives in Kansas, but they also know she loves her life there. They both love politics and public policy, so they are in the best city in the world for their careers.
As a mother it is always our job to get our children to the best possible place for them so they can have the life they have dreamed of. My parents understood this and let their only child move away after the heartbreak of losing their only other child 4 years earlier. This was back in the day (1970's) when there were no cell phones, no internet, only landlines and snail mail. I came home about 3-4 times a year to visit friends and family. My son comes home about the same number of times each year. We email, talk frequently, and I'm ecstatic that he has a life full of his career passions. Will I feel the distance more if he has children? Probably. But again, as a mom, it's my DUTY to get him to the life he can live and love.
Yes it's hard living far from family and friends. But you are happiest in Colorado and should live there if your husband feels the same way. You are your own family now. And I agree with the prior posters, it's not fair to all concerned to be wishy-washy about this and move back and forth. Kids need stability. So do adults.
I saw an article by Erma Bombeck, a columnist "back in the day", copied below. I sent that column to my mom when I was living in Massachusetts, thanking her for letting me have the life I wanted, in spite of how hard that had to be. I'd recommend you give this to your mom. She probably remembers who Erma Bombeck was. Tell her she has done a great job as a mom, preparing you to be a wonderful mom, but maybe just not in her own backyard.
Children are Like Kites
You spend a lifetime trying to get them off the ground.
You run with them until you are both breathless.
They crash. They hit the rooftop.
You patch and comfort, adjust and teach.
You watch them lifted by the wind and assure them that
someday, they will fly.
Finally, they are airborne;
They need more string and you keep letting it out;
But with each twist of the ball of twine,
There is a sadness that goes with joy.
The kite becomes more distant and you know it won't be long before that beautiful creature will snap the lifeline that binds you two together and will soar, free and alone.
Only then do you know that you did your job
http://www.alaboon.com/children%20are%20like%20kites.htm
Honestly, this is nuts to me, but probably because of my history.
My parents are international immigrants who moved from Buffalo to NY to Los Angeles for work. Their parents supported their decisions whole-heartedly because it gave them a better life.
My parents can have attacks of crazy, but they supported my brother when he went to college/law school out of state for 8 years because they were great programs.
I just moved to Michigan because of my husband's work, and they also for the most part supported me. My husband's family is split up because of where they work and school. They still love each other very much.
My parents and my husband are academics, and a really good job is not necessarily in-state. Many of my friends, also, are not necessarily back in the state where we all grew up. I hope when the time comes, I can let my children go and find where they are happiest, even if it is not close to me...
This is really nice to hear because you are able to give insight from both perspectives as a child and as a parent.
It's funny for me because I live in NY and my family lives in Philly - so it's not like it's THAT far, but they always have respected my choices when it came to where I was going to live. My mom's attitude was always 'well, if you don't like it there, you can always come back.' and 'it's your life, so you live your life.' I know when I moved to Spain, it was a little bit harder, but they were still very cool with that decision. I hope to have the same attitude when I eventually have a child of my own. You give them the tools necessary to get ahead in life, but then to see them flourish, is something pretty amazing.
Thanks for sharing your story
Well at a certain point, you have to put the family you make above the family you were born into. If you, your husband and your child are happier in CO, then go for it. Your mom will be upset, but she isn't your priority and she isn't the one you made vows to " put above all others " to. Stop carrying this guilt on your shoulders, this simply isn't your burden to bear because, again, you must make priorities and do what is best for your own little family. That is the family that matters most.
FWIW, my parents both grew up in MO but moved to AZ when I was around 4. We lived there for 8 years when my mom decided she wanted to move back to MO so us kids could be closer to our family. Low and behold, we really don't see our extended family that much outside of holidays. My dad also had to take a big paycut to move back to MO, so much that I still don't thinkthey have recovered. Trust me, we really struggled here in MO for a long time. It probably would have been better if they would have just made trips back to MO more often and stayed in AZ.
I moved to China when I was 20 - my parents had no problem with it. When my boyfriend (now husband) followed me to China 6 months later his parents didn't deal with it very well. His mom would call crying all hysterical. His dad would break down. Christmases for years were so depressing because his mother would just cry and cry. It was too much.
He finally had a talk with them and told them that he loved them but us living abroad and so far away was not to hurt them - it was to live our lives and didn't they want that for us? Did they really want us to move "home" and live a life that didn't make us happy, just to be closer to them? Their guilt trips really hurt and are very unfair, please just be happy for us and enjoy the time that we do get to spend together.
Eventually, it worked. 12 years on and we've lived in a bunch of different countries and are now (kind of) settled in the UK with kids - no more teary phone calls and video chats with his family, they skype all the time with the kids and his mom is over here at least twice a year.
And when anyone starts to get all uppity about it we're quick to remind them that miraculously, planes fly in both directions.
Chronically hilarious - you'll split your stitches!
I wrote a book! Bucket list CHECK!
http://notesfortheirtherapist.blogspot.co.uk