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House Hunting Burnout & Compromises
We've been actively looking for houses for about seven months. We had an accepted offer on a house, but backed out after inspection went terribly. We've been shown 9 houses, look at hundreds online, and drive around and look at ten or so at a time (to save our realtor's time and money, since we're not buying a very expensive house).
Lately, we've been missing out on houses. We've refocused our needs vs our wants several times throughout this process and both have changed significantly as we've learned more about our capabilities in financing, repair, etc.
Does anyone have tips to beat the burnout of house hunting? It is a relief that the market is turning around, so we try to keep that perspective when dealing with competition and low inventory. But it's difficult sometimes!
We've looked at houses that need new roofs, thinking about whether that is an appropriate compromise to make for a house in a good neighborhood with a big yard. Then small houses with updated mechanicals, but the basement ceiling is irreparably low so there's no potential for expanding space when we want to start a family--so we'd move to a second house sooner. A moderate-sized house with lots of potential to be restored blocks from a high-crime neighborhood (hard to tell if it is creeping that way as housing prices drop and if that will affect the value of that house if we went to resell it) that used to be a rental with a really poor quality local elementary school. It feels like a delicate balance of investments and compromises that we haven't quite mastered. We know we're not going to find the perfect house, but we can't seem to find or realize the "right" one.
How long did it take you to find the right house? What kind of compromises did you end up making? I'd love to hear from others who are going through this or have been through it.
Re: House Hunting Burnout & Compromises
It took my husband and I 6 weeks of actively looking to find our house. We had previously been looking online to get an idea of what we could afford, what we wanted etc. Ultimately, we were looking at 4-6 houses a week with our realtor. She would schedule a 2-3 hour window one night a week and we'd go and take a look at the houses. She would call us 2- times a week with possible houses and we'd call her if we saw something we were interested. I have my realtor's cell phone and home phone number.
You have to actually SEE the house to know if it's the right one. There were plenty of houses that we really really liked on paper, but as soon as we set foot on the property or inside the house, we knew it wasn't the right one. The housing market in our area is horrible. On our house alone there were 6 offers in the span of the 4 days that the house was on the market. Your realtor is earning commission on working for you and doing the leg work. You need to do your part and search as well.
We actually saw our house online on a Thursday night at 9pm, called our agent at 9am the next morning and had an appointment to see the house at 3pm that day. The offer was in on Saturday morning. We were getting discouraged with looking at all of these houses, but we also had the idea in the back our our head that we weren't going to settle, we weren't going to jump on a house just because it was in demand, and we were going to keep, "trucking along".
When we found THE house we made the decision while we were in the kitchen, we weren't nervous, it was a very natural decision. The only thing that we compromised on was the 4th bedroom. We got everything else that we wanted/the was important to us. We didn't want to settle on just any house. We tried to keep in mind that we didn't want a starter home, but a home that we could grow into and if it turned into the forever home we would be happy there.
Good luck. Keep your head up and keep "trucking along."
IMO it's important to not compromise on location (schools, safety, neighborhood quality, etc.). Pretty much everything else can be changed - not location. If it's a great house in a not so great neighborhood, then it's not a great house.
The fact of the matter is, unless you are building a new home no house will be perfect in terms of its appearance (to your personal preferences) and/or its mechanicals being new or newer or at least having a decent life span left.
It depends on how much of a time pinch you're in though. If you have the time to spend waiting and looking then do so.
But if you need to buy pretty soon then find a great location and choose a home that you are pleased with. Maybe you aren't in love, but pleased. Something that makes you say, "It's not my ideal, but I can make this into mine over time."
Personally, mechanicals are huge. If I had to chose the average home that I could work on over time, that had the newer mechanicals, I'd go for it over the "more unique home" that needed a bunch of work within the next 3 years to its roof, windows, furnace, etc.). I suppose it's a practical matter for me.
But I'd have more fun dropping 10 thousand bucks on a kitchen reno at my leisure than a new furnace needed immediately.....any day.
We had put an offer on a house and were trying to negotiate a price (we offered quite fairly and comparable to other houses in the area...they just really want more then the property was worth) in school district which I would say was comparable to the district DH and I had attended but decided to walk from negotiating when they A-started asking more then their listing price and B- DH heard there was some drug trafficking trickling into a nearby neighborhood. The house we just submitted an offer on is bit bigger and that is nice. We compromised on not having 2 bathrooms and the lot size is smaller but there is a nice park nearby. We can always turn closet or the crazy small addition into a half bath on the first floor...since the only bathroom is upstairs.
This school district is also a million times better then the previous one. Would I say I'm absolutely in love with this house...no. The one I fell in love with was in the same school district but we missed out on it while we were waiting for our pre-approval to go through. It wasn't perfect either.
But you have to get out there and look at houses. Just because they look great online doesn't mean they are just as great in person (I've been disappointed in about 15 properties)....and at the same time there were a few I wasn't thrilled with online but looked at in person and it was shocking how great they were (this includes the house we just put an offer on). We've been house hunting since March. We HAVE to be out of our apartment by mid-July....looks like we'll be camping if closing takes awhile or we end up needing to house hunt any longer. I know there is one more house my DH would love to see in the same neighborhood but for some reason no one is allowed to look at it until next week...but I mean I don't feel like this house is us just settling. Settling would have been continuing negotiations on the previous house in the ok school district with an increasing crime rate nearby. We have 2 boys already and there education was just too important to make do with that type of situation.
To a realtor (we are actually using a buyer's agent) it shouldn't matter if you are looking at $50,000 houses or $10 million houses...they work for you and it is their job to show you every house you want to see until you find the perfect one. So don't feel guilty about asking to see as many houses as it takes. We've seen at least 40. You can't judge houses by pictures online...some of those real estate photographers are really talented at making a house look perfect and even if it is actually that great in person you can't judge if it could be "home" until you step into it to be sure.
I agree 100% with PPs: focus on your ideal location first. Pretty much anything can be changed about a house, except its location. Also, since you've been looking for so long, do you need to update your pre-approval? They expire, and you want o have one ready.
We live in Boston, which is a ridiculous market right now. We started looking 4 1/2 months before we needed to move, expecting that it would take us some time to find a house.
We knew going into the search that we needed a big kitchen, at least 3 BR, and at least 1.5 BA. We wanted 4 BR and 2.5 BA. We also knew we didnt really have the time or interest for a very old house. The first weekend, we looked at three houses with a realtor in Saturday and went to 4 open houses on Sunday. While I fell in love with a 3BR/1.5BA that Saturday, realistically it was just too small for us. We found another "ehh" house on Sunday that we could've made work but didn't love. A house that we did love (from the internet listing) went on the market on Tuesday. We expected to look at it at the scheduled open house that Sunday-it was sold by Thursday.
The following week, a large 3BR/2.5BA went on the market on Tuesday. We actually took the morning off on Thursday to look at it because it looked so promising online. They received three offers by Thursday night-all about the same, and they picked ours. (Yay!). We will end up moving about 6 weeks earlier than planned, and may have to pay rent for part of that, but for us it was totally worth it to get this house. The house meets all of our musts: gorgeous kitchen; 3 very large bedrooms; 2.5 baths. While we would have loved another bedroom, we're super excited to move.
Good luck with your search. Keep in mind that it's all about location, and make sure you and your H agree on musts and wants.
I agree with the prior posters, it's all about a desirable location first.
It sounds like you've gone through your "must haves" and "want to haves" pretty well.
The last house I searched for was the one I've lived in for 18 years. I was pregnant the summer of 1984, getting into and out of a tall Isuzu Trooper several times every Saturday and Sunday for months. That was the last "buyer's market" before the recent one, when an offer under the asking price was even considered. We saw this house about 2 months into our search, they declined our offer. We continued looking, but no houses we saw compared with this one. It had EVERYTHING and was "move in condition". Finally about 3-4 months later the real estate agent for this house called our agent and asked if our offer was still good. Yay! We moved in 7 days after my daughter was born.
If you are having burnout, maybe do more looking online before looking in person. Take a weekend off and do something fun and don't talk about finding a house. We live in a goal oriented society with 24/7 communications now, and sometimes that's a bad thing when you want something so badly that you stress over it.
You may also have to consider a home that is not perfect, but good enough as others have said above. I was thrilled to get the house we now live in, but I've made many upgrades and repairs. Unless you are under some tight time constraints and have to find something quickly, trust me, eventually the house that will feel like "home" when you walk in will be found.
Good luck.
Take a break and save more money to give you more options to make repairs or buy a house more move-in ready.
It took us 6 months for house #1 and 4 years for house #2 (we had very specific criteria in location, price, style in a low inventory area 0 and then put in at least 60K in renovations and updating.)
After almost 15 months of searching, we compromised on square footage and kitchen size.
We found a great house that is not much smaller than we wanted, and although the kitchen is barely larger than the one in our tiny condo, I can make do! The house we're getting also has a huge garage, so we will use that for storage. We did NOT compromise on having a garage, the side of town we wanted, a large yard, and what we were willing to spend on a house.
We're closing tomorrow (hopefully)!!!!
We started both of our home searches by "getting our feet wet" through open houses. For us this was a good way to casually drive around, looking at houses in various neighborhoods and price ranges without "wasting" or realtors time. I owld never actually buy a house by toting in an offer at a open house, and were very clear and up front that we already had a realtor (Honestly most open houses are meant to benefit the realtor by gaining new clients rather than selling the house). This helped us learn what styles and neigbhorhood we liked or hated and helped us narrow down our criteria without the realtors bias.
honestly I think lot size and location are probably most important because they are the 2 things you can't change or update,
I liked another posters advice to choose your top 10 priorities in a home. Then cross of the 5 least important. See if there are any houses left in your price range, if so, narrow it down from there. If there aren't any houses left in your price range narrow it down further to our ur top 3 priorities and see what is left. If there is nothing left, then sadly that probably just means it is not your time to buy, so keep working on your downpayment, stop looking for a wile year then revisit it and see if there is anything new on the market and if your bigger downpayment can buy more of what you want.
from your post it sounds Ike you have not truly narrowed down what it is that you want and that you are all over the place. Without being able to know what exactly you are looking for and what your few must-haves are its hard for us to give advice and even harder for you and your realtor to narrow it down. Once you have your top 3-5 priorities, then you can narrow it down. Our realtor had an online MLS database set up with our search criteria (size, price, acreage) and it sent us an email daily with houses that came up or went off the market with those criteria. Then we could log in and approve or eliminate each one based on whether it had our must haves... Then my husband and I would drive by in the evenings to get a feel for the location and neighborhood. If we liked it, we kept it on the list, if the neighborhood made is nervous we crossed it off.
Ditto what the others said. I was surprised that you've only seen nine homes in 7 months. You really do need to see the homes in person to get the complete picture. We looked for about 2.5 months and went out with our realtor each weekend and saw around 7 homes each weekend.
Unless you are buying new construction, you'll likely need to set aside some money for renovations, updates.
GL!
I agree with many of the previous posters - including being surprised that you have only seen 9 houses in person with your realtor.
We live in a serious sellers market, where things are getting snapped up quickly. We started looking about 5 months before our lease will end. At first, we just 'browsed' with our realtor, looking at a VERY broad range of styles and types of houses. Over the course of doing that, we started to refne what we thought we wanted to better reflect the reality once we started looking.
I completely agree with others - you need to get into the houses and see and feel them in person! Pictures don't show you the flow, they don't let you see the little details in the same way.
I will also agree - you may not find the house you LOVE where everything is updated and perfect, and that is okay! Look for good bones. I can't say I love everything about our house (we should close in a month), but I will say that I see all the potential and none of the pitfalls or negatives. Yes, I would love a bigger kitchen (it is nominally bigger than our current apartment kitchen) but it's fine for now, and with the extra storage we have, I can work around it. I know the mechanicals are solid, and for our price range, it has some really great features we didn't expect to get. Many of the other things can be changed as we have time and money. And like someone else said - I'd rather spend $10k on something fun for my house, rather than a new mechanical system.
Thank you for all the advice!!! I really liked the idea of writing down 10 values, then crossing out 5 that are not as important. It definitely helps put it in better perspective.
I really don't think our problem is not seeing enough houses in person. We get a lot done just by driving around, walking through yards, peeking in windows, and talking to neighbors. We really narrowed down neighborhoods doing this. Several times, we were let in unoccupied houses by the owners who were there fixing it up.
I would LOVE if our realtor actually showed us houses, but it doesn't seem like she has the time. She takes a while to respond when we ask to see specific houses, and then usually it is a day or so later to tell us the house has an offer on it. For instance, we email Saturday. She emails us Wednesday to tell us the house sold Monday.
It might be time for our buyer's agent and us to head our separate ways as it seems best for both parties right now.
Your realtor sounds spectacular! I certainly feel like we are doing more than our fair share of legwork...
I like your idea of starter home v. forever home with growth. Thank you for sharing!
Thank you for sharing! 4.5 months seems reasonable. I definitely empathize with the crazy market! Most houses are selling so quickly around here...
Our pre-approval will expire at the end of June. We are hoping to be done by then. I guess we started looking 10 months or so before we absolutely need to move (his lease is done mid-August, mine end of July), but his last couple months of rent are paid and we assumed it'd be nice to work on the house a bit before we actually move in.
Congrats on your new home! How wonderful to be done and satisfied with your decision!
IMO it's important to not compromise on location (schools, safety, neighborhood quality, etc.). Pretty much everything else can be changed - not location. If it's a great house in a not so great neighborhood, then it's not a great house.
The fact of the matter is, unless you are building a new home no house will be perfect in terms of its appearance (to your personal preferences) and/or its mechanicals being new or newer or at least having a decent life span left.
It depends on how much of a time pinch you're in though. If you have the time to spend waiting and looking then do so.
But if you need to buy pretty soon then find a great location and choose a home that you are pleased with. Maybe you aren't in love, but pleased. Something that makes you say, "It's not my ideal, but I can make this into mine over time."
Personally, mechanicals are huge. If I had to chose the average home that I could work on over time, that had the newer mechanicals, I'd go for it over the "more unique home" that needed a bunch of work within the next 3 years to its roof, windows, furnace, etc.). I suppose it's a practical matter for me.
But I'd have more fun dropping 10 thousand bucks on a kitchen reno at my leisure than a new furnace needed immediately.....any day.
What a good point! The "fun" factor! After reading this, I brought it up to my SO. "I'd much rather replace the ugly pink carpet in this house than replace a roof on that house..." :-)
Best wishes on your new home and congrats!
Thank you for sharing! It is really helping me to hear other people's timelines. We definitely have been looking at some more "move-in ready" homes, but we've realized that realtor's definitions of that term vary greatly in our area! :-P
Thank you! I really like the idea of "looking for good bones." Luckily, my SO is a handyman with a vivid imagination and it is not hard for him to overlook ugly chipping paint, inconvenient landscaping, old roofing, etc. to see the potential of a house. Me, I have to try a little harder to focus on the bare necessities! :-)
I would part ways with your realtor. She isn't doing her job and just like anyone else you would have working for you, if they aren't doing their job then it is time for them to go
Honestly, I would do it as soon as possible.
I'm no real help here. Our process went as smooth as butter... We toured 7 houses, fell in love with the very first one. Put in an offer which was accepted. Closed 30 days later without a hiccup. Inspection was perfect and they fixed even the tiny things. We have lived in our house since November and love it more every day.
What I can say is that you are doing all the right things. Speak to your realtor and request honest feedback. They have years of experience and may just be being too nice to you. If what you want is not possible in your price range you may wish to wait a few years to afford more or significantly lower your expectations. For us, we would have rather waited then bought a house we would want to sell relatively soon. We hate moving, so right now we are in the house we plan to be in until we have kids that are middle school age. We don't have any kids now, but our house will be too small if our plans pan out over the next 15 years.
Do you guys like a DIY project? If so it could be worth looking at a house far below your budget and planning to do repairs over the next few years and flip the house.
Best of luck and just keep looking online!!