Money Matters
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Hybrid finances and gifts

Hello,

 

My fiance and I are getting married in September after 8 years together! I am excited for sure, and have just started perusing The Nest!

One of our recurring conversations is how to spend on gifts for each other.

 A couple years ago we joined our incomes; now we have a joint checking and savings, and each of us has our individual checking and savings that's linked. Each week we add a little bit into our individual checking accounts for "fun money".

I'm of the opinion that birthday/anniversary/Christmas gifts should be purchased from the "fun money" accounts, as a way to show that we're thinking of the other person and planning for romantic things for them even though that's our individual account. My fiance disagrees and thinks gifts should come from the joint account. Part of the reason is that our spending/saving philosophies are different for our "fun money" accounts.

I think it should be a priority to save some of that account's money for these important occasions, as they are predictable and occur at the same time every year, and it's more about the intent. 

What are your thoughts, ideas, comments? :) 

Re: Hybrid finances and gifts

  • I will sometimes use 'fun money' and I will sometimes use the gifts $ we budget each month. Fun money would be something random- just to show him I"m thinking about him type of thing. Gifts budget would be something we planned for- birthdays, Christmas, anniversary, etc. Of course this gifts budget is also for families presents, wedding presents all that sort of thing too. Now if we do something- lets say for our anniversary we are going on a trip or to a nice restaurant, we may pull that from the restaurant or travel fund instead. It really kinda depends upon what we are doing, and how we planned our budget that month.
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  • that makes a lot of sense! do you ever feel like that's less "romantic" to use a budget from the joint account on gifts for each other? I don't know why but that is stuck in my head, and I don't know if it's irrational or unrealistic. I just don't want it to ever feel like another "bill".

    If I may ask, what is your approx. gift budget?

  • I don't find it less romantic- however I do sometimes wish I could 'hide' the charge- at least until I give it to him! He will look at our CC statement and go- hey what's this, and that kinda sucks. I had a budget for gifts for him before we got married, so it really is just the same thing. 

    We budget $100 a month for gifts- but like I said that encompasses everything from family to friends to graduation/wedding etc. I think we will probably be dropping that though a bit after baby is here. Since we've been married we tend to do things for each other for anniversary for instance we may go out to a more expensive restaurant, rather than exchange expensive gifts. We've just decided it's less about the stuff you may give one another, and to focus on the time spent together. That also allows us to focus on our main financial goals right now of saving for retirement and a new house in a couple of years.

    image
  • We put some money each month into a joint savings account for gifts.  We use money from that account for each other's birthdays, and each year as we approach our anniversary and Christmas, we decide together how we want to spend from that account.  Neither of us are really into surprises (especially not expensive surprises), so this works well for us.  
  • we have everything come out of a joint account.  we basically use our credit card for all purchases (to get points) and pay it off at the end of the month.  i will say, that around anniversaries/bday etc to use the joint card for gift purchases can make things tricky - i usually get a text to not check the credit card statement until after the gift giving event is over because i could easily see where DH has been shopping.  its not as much of a concern for me when i buy him gifts cause he never checks the credit card statement, while i do on a daily basis!
    DS1 10/5/09 Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
  • We actually do a hybrid. We have a budgeted amount for gifts for one another. At some point in the month or so prior to the gift giving event, I make sure that the budgeted amount is transferred to the giving person's individual spending account. Typically, DH and I will spend more than that amount on the gift, but what amount we spend is up to us (so long as it is at least equal to the budgeted amount). Amount in excess of budget amount comes from our spending money (already in the spending account). 
    Pregnancy Ticker Pregnancy Ticker
  • kipnuskipnus member
    Ancient Membership 100 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    We're not really big into physical gifts (usually we do things like a nice dinner out, or a concert or play), but when we do buy birthday or Christmas gifts for each other, it comes out of our personal accounts, not our joint account.
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