Relationships
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
how did you know you loved him?
This is weird for me. I have been married before and thought I loved my ex husband but now realize I never did. I have never really loved another man. I hadn't dated anyone but my ex before I got married. I have been with my boyfriend, Matt, for about a month. I care for him deeply and cannot picture myself without him but I am not sure if I love him yet. How did you know when you loved your significant other? I feel so clueless in this. Help!
Re: how did you know you loved him?
My general rule of thumb is if you're not sure, you're not in love. I can't really explain how I knew I loved DH at the beginning. I met him and within 5 minutes I could see him chasing kids around the yard and driving me nuts forever. For me, it was just "Oh. Okay. There he is." Followed by months of fighting that feeling because I didn't want to be tied down at 19. I think that relationships always take work but if it FEELS like work, then it's probably not the right relationship, if that makes any sense.
I don't think you need to know a month in. If I were you I'd relax and give it some more time.
I agree that if you're not sure you're probably not in love, yet. Falling in love cannot be described with words, it's something that involves your whole being, it confuses and changes everything about you, your senses, your thoughts... You just know. I fell in love with H the moment we met and completely abandoned myself at him/us. 17yo me had a ball giving in to the uncontrollable feeling. I've never been with anyone else and still there's no doubt in my body that I love him madly.
You don't need to be there now, like Kimbus said, if the relationship feels right then I would just enjoy its natural course. Emphasis on enjoy!
"You know you're in love when you don't want to fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams." - Dr. SeussWhen my friend told me I was in love!
I had been dating him a month or so and was at my friends house and I guess I was going on and on about him and she said " hey! You are in LOVE with him"...at that point the light bulb went on over my head! yep, she was right!
That was 15 years ago and she and I still remember that day!
You need to move slowly in this relationship.
Reason being you are probably not divorced all that long and also because a little kiddo is in the mix.
If he has not met your son yet, do not "introduce" them for several more months.
You need to proceed slowly wihen youngsters are in the picture and you also need to know if he's dependable, he'll be there in the long run and if you and he are truly and completely mutually exclusive.
Don't "bring on the kid" until after Valentine's Day. I'm not kidding. GL.
A month isn't a very long time and I'll second PPs who said if you're not sure, then you're not in love.
I met my husband at 17 and while I cared deeply for him, and loved him, it didn't really hit me until maybe 20-21 years old, after 3-4 years of dating. It was like a light bulb went off where I thought I can spend the rest of my life with him, I want to be his partner, I want to raise a family with him. We were in a committed relationship for a long time before I had that a-ha moment and I'm sure my age was the reason. While I loved him all along it became deeper and more real as I got older and matured.
Again, a month isn't a very long time so I wouldn't totally write the relationship off. It takes time to develop that special kind of love between two people.
Good luck!
I have been in some pretty waste of time relationships and for the longest time, especially when I was personally involved I believed that I was in love, however I didn't really know what it was to love or be loved. It wasn't until I met my current man that I even remotely knew what love was. I knew the moment I laid eyes on him that we were going to be together with in 2 weeks we were inseprable and now almost 2 years later I am still as in love, and twitter pated as I was the first night we met. I didn't know what love was until I found it at first sight.
If you haven't been with anyone but your ex, it would prolly be very benifical to try and learn who you really are and to get out and truly experience the dating life. You have to go through more than one bad fish to find, the one that you deserve. You will also learn so much about yourself in this process and who you really are.
Best of luck to you.