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so upset- maybe irrational
So DH had to work late today. His aunt lives in the town he works in (the next town over) and when he got off he was hungry so his aunt says "lets go eat at Texas steakhouse." I have been sitting at home working around the house to get ready for our move for the past 4 hours since I got off and he didn't even ask if I wanted to come. He didn't tell me where he was going he says "I'm going to grab some dinner real quick" so an hour later I call to see where he is and he says "Oh we went to the steakhouse" and didnt even offer to bring me something. I understand he probably had a long day but I am pissed. I cant believe he didn't ask me to come, its a 20 min drive. I cant believe he didn't offer to bring me something. I cant believe any of it. I am still hungry, haven't eaten, now have no appetite and am PISSED. Sorry for the rant but I am sitting here crying my eyes out and have no idea what I am going to say when he gets home because I am so mad.... UGGGHHHH!!!!! His excuse "I thought you had already eaten".... Uh no I was waiting for you to get home cause I was going to fix us dinner you IDIOT!!!
Re: so upset- maybe irrational
I get that you're upset, but I think you might be irrational.
When one of us works late, we just assume well be
on our own for dinner. Yesterday I worked late. H went
to a pizza place and got a salad for himself. I really wanted
a pizza, but I didn't let him know. That was on me. Next
time your H is working late, just say that you'll have
dinner waiting for him. That way, he knows in advance
your dinner plans.
B Born 6.27.13
TTC since May 2010. DX Unexplained IF. IUI #1 in August 2012. Clomid, Menopur plus Ovidrel. BFN. IUI #2 in September 2012. Clomid, Menopur plus Ovidrel. BFN. IUI #3 in October 2012. BFN. IVF in April/May 2013: BFP. Due February 2, 2014 Thank you God!
I agree with MRads. Also, if he told you he was grabbing a quick dinner, why does it matter where he went? Idk, maybe I'm missing something.
...hello out there!
dx with anovulatory PCOS 2005
off bcp 11/11
a few rounds of clomid and femara... no response.
injectables/IUI 12/12... BFN
Feb 13 IVF cycle converted down to IUI due to low follicle response... BFFN
one last IVF attempt April/May 2013: 19 retrieved. 10 fertilized. 2 transferred in a 3dt. 4 frosties... BFP!!
EDD: 1/21/14... Induced early at 36+6. Our LO was born 12/30/13
he should have offered, especially since he knows you are packing.
When you've been married this long, you need a ticker to remind you.
Baby Boy M - 08/01/2013
A quick dinner to me is not over an hour at a sit down restaurant that we rarely get to go to because of costs. The fact that he went to a steakhouse without me or even asking me if I wanted something was what made me upset. I don't mind eating a sandwich alone if I think he is grabbing fast food or a sub, but going to an expensive, nice sit down restaurant without me hurt my feelings.
I didn't explode or anything, I just explained how his actions hurt my feelings and then he apologized. I know I was more upset than I normally would have been, but when he works late he doesn't usually just go grab something, we just eat later together. He said he needed to grab a quick dinner because he hadn't had a chance to eat during the day and said he was hungry and needed to eat. I understood.
I am over it now.
"Do the best you can, until you know better. Then when you know better, do better."
-Maya Angelou
I think everyone, esp pregnant women, have their
irrational freak outs. I cried at the store on Sunday whenthe
pharmacist was unwilling to recommend otc meds
w/out consulting my ob, and H was able to waltz
out with a perscrition he had forgotten about. I just
think its important to be able to recognize when I'm
being a hormonal mess and when I have a legit gripe.
B Born 6.27.13
Maybe next time let him know ahead of time that you are waiting for him to come home before you eat. Maybe he truly did not realize you had not eaten and he figured it was no big deal. I'm sure the man didn't want you to starve all night...
eta:
also maybe his aunt bought and he didn't feel right adding anything to the bill....cut him a little slack. You were tired and emo, we all get there but he's not a mind reader.
This is what I was thinking as well. It's not like he went out to eat by himself, he went with his aunt, and maybe he assumed ahead of time that they'd just catch a quick bit somewhere, but she suggested a sit-down restaurant.
Definitely cut him some slack on this one. We all get emotional from time to time during pregnancy, but remember that this also comes with some irrational reactions to things that normally would be nbd. Chalk it up to hormones, and don't stew about it. Its not worth it.
My new bff Gayle Forman!
“You can have your wishes, your plans, but at the end of the day, it's out of your control"
- Gayle Forman
"People talk about escapism as if it's a bad thing... Once you've escaped, once you come back, the world is not the same as when you left it. You come back to it with skills, weapons, knowledge you didn't have before. Then you are better equipped to deal with your current reality."
- Neil Gaiman
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