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Confusing Trip Home
My mom asked my husband and I if we would like to take a free airplane trip to my hometown, a major city, for July 4th. Since we have some "free" time(it's not really free but we can make it work) we decided to arrive in the afternoon on Tuesday the 2nd and leave in the morning a week later.
When talking to my best friend about the trip I mentioned visiting the town where he lives, which is about a 2 hour trip by car. My husband overheard the idea and liked it. He would be doing the driving and would probably get a little tired of hanging out with any family, even his, for an entire week. My parents can also be a bit difficult to get along with at times, although they are generally pleasant around him. The nearby city isn't as big but has some appealing attractions and gorgeous scenery which I have been wanting to show my husband for a while. We wanted to take an overnight trip. I can only see my best friend when I fly back(he doesn't have money/time to come here) and it's been and will be a while, but he may be able to come to visit me if we don't go down there.
When actually booking the trip with my mom she mentioned that my dad was leaving for a conference on Saturday. I instantly felt guilty about leaving her alone after she booked the tickets for us, since we want to take the trip on Saturday-Sunday. We obviously can't do Tues-Weds, Thurs is July 4th, and my mom wants us to maximize time with my dad and be there on Friday. She offered no objection on the phone to the trip itself, but probably will later, knowing her. My parents are big believers in their kids spending as much time with them as possible.
There are two other complications: We need to catch two outside cats, take them to the vet for boosters/a bath, and carry them back on the airplane. My parents will probably object to this, but it really is what is best for the cats, and they refuse to train them to stay inside. I have a feeling I may get dual guilt trips about this. I also have stuff which I want to be packed and shipped.
What would you do in this situation? Go on the trip, or stay?
Re: Confusing Trip Home
Honestly, if they are paying for the trip for the TWO of you to visit them, then it is a bit rude to take the overnight side trip.
Since your father is leaving Saturday, I would look at making the trip to see your friend just a day trip. Its not like 2 hours is that crazy long. People do one hour daily commutes twice a day on a weekly basis.
I'm leaning towards this too - make it a day trip (if you were paying for the trip it would be a different ballgame). Get up and head out early if you have to in order to maximize time with your friend.
Regarding the cats, I'm confused. Are these your parents pets that you're taking? If so, kidnapping someone else's pets is pretty ballsy.
In reply to the cats: they were born in our backyard and so my parents feed them, but they aren't "pets" pets. They sort of domesticated themselves. My parent's main objection to my taking them is that converting them to inside cats "can't" be done, but that's ridiculous and kind of like their objection to many other regular things that "can't" be done which I have before. Also, for example, they need booster shots(we all agreed that they needed spaying, although it got done way past when most cats are fertile, because endless kitten are cute but not good thing. They got vaccinated at this time.) and my parents refuse to take them to get it done because it "can't be done", though we pet them all the time(this is how we got them spayed!). They've become overweight because my mom won't monitor how much she feeds them. They're getting older and do things like go up on the roofs of two-story houses; my parents are content to watch them be cute and then disappear one day, but I'm really not...
Ok, so it sounds like you've spoken to them about your concerns and also asked (or at least implied) that you're wanting to take them, and they have objected. Personally, I wouldn't entertain taking them against your parents wishes. You say they aren't their "pets" but if they don't want you to take them, that says to me your folks feel as though they are indeed their pets. Obviously you have good intentions but I still think you're overstepping your bounds. Based on your OP, it sounds like you're taking them with or without your parents consent? Correct me if I'm wrong. I think a decision like that needs to be made mutually and you need to respect their wishes... they are their cats and they are living on their property. If your folks say "Go ahead and good luck with the shots and trying to make them indoor cats" then obviously go for it. But if they are adamant about keeping them, I wouldn't just disregard their wishes and take them anyway.
Again, I know you mean well and you want to do what's best for these animals. But if your parents feel that these are their cats then I would let it be.
I would do a day trip to visit your friend on Sunday. I think it is OK to visit your friend because your dad is leaving too on Saturday, so if they wanted to spend every second together then you all should have arranged it at a time when he didn't have a conference.
If you want to catch the cats and give them booster shots, great, but I probably wouldn't take them on the airplane with you. While it is dangerous being outside cats, I am not sure going against your parents wishes and putting the cats through the trauma of the airplane and a new home is in the best interests either.
Go ahead and pack your stuff and ship it out. I would probably do that early in the week.
Again regarding the cats, it's not that I'm doing it without their permission, it's just that when I am doing something that they have objections to they tend to voice those objections again and again and again. It's not that they don't want me to take them, it's that they don't think that they can be converted into inside cats-which isn't true.
Sadly, interacting with my parents would take a book to understand. If this could be solved by reasonable, rational discussion I would do that, first.
With some cats it's not advisable to bring them on an airplane, but these guys are tough and not that afraid of people. I already moved my cat from California, so I know the process involved. She is currently happily running around the apartment destroying things in her path and occasionally lovingly nipping my foot, heh. These cats are more social and well-adjusted than she is in general(she was abandoned as a kitten by the road).
Mostly, in this situation it is the most advisable course of action for everyone. I wish that things were different and didn't require weirdness.
If you have their permission then go for it. If they continue to voice their opinions on the matter you can either ignore it or tell them to be quiet. That's really all you can do, right? You can't change them so you have to learn how to deal. It's unfortunate but those are the breaks.
Good luck, hope everything goes smoothly!
I think you need to actually speak with a vet or someone in cat rescue before attempting a move. You say they aren't that afraid of people, so they are not domestic. They are spray cats (not feral). You have no clue if they can use a litter box or become pets.
Taking cats that may not be use to a cat carrier and then a vet (b/c they would need this before boarding) is going to be very stressful. Then they'll be placed with other animals in carriers. This has disaster written all over it! Stress in cats leads to all sorts of issues, both for their health and personality. While well meaning I think you will be harming them more then helping. Take them to a vet and have everything needed done (including altering them) and put them back or contact a local no kill animal rescue.
This is coming for someone who has adopted several FIV cats and is opposed to outdoor cats. I get you intention, I really do.
Baby Boy loved for 15 weeks, 5/31/11
Baby Girl loved for 16.5 weeks. 3/1/12
I didn't discuss the cats and plane thing, but have you done ANY research on this yet?
I have flown with both cats and dogs both domestic and international. it is not all that easy. '
Here is the link to AMerican Airlines. http://www.aa.com/i18n/travelInformation/specialAssistance/travelingWithPets.jsp