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Something has got to give.... (long)
and its about to be my sanity.
I estimate it takes between 2-3 hours altogether a day to get LT to sleep. Between bedtime and naps it takes forever to get him to go to sleep. I'm exhausted- CIO is not going to work for us. Last time I let him cry for more then a couple of minutes we ended up with him breaking capillaries in his face. Rocking him to sleep doesn't work anymore- if I can manage after 30+ minutes to get him to sleep within two minutes he's awake again and that 2 minutes seems to rest him just enough to fight harder. I've even tried swaddling him up a bit- what ends up happening is I sit beside his crib for 15-60 minutes singing, humming, or shushing and patting him. Sometimes even if I manage to get him to sleep if he's not 100% asleep and I leave within a few minutes he senses that I'm gone and wakes up. Adding another 10-30 minutes to get him back to sleep. I legitimately end up getting nothing done.
Any suggestions?
Congrats to my TTC buddies Amberley18 and tdmd09!
After 25 months- medicated cycles and a failed IUI- The most planned surprise baby ever is on his way!
Re: Something has got to give.... (long)
Have you tried putting him in a swing? Or driving him around in the car?
Maybe he needs a dark room? Or music? Or a night light? Or a Pacifier?
Im sorry you're so exhausted. I really hope you find something that works and LT gets in a better sleep schedule soon so you can get some rest. Hang in there!
I went through the same thing. I had to rock M to sleep and wait until she was really asleep and then put her in the crib. But she was waking multiple times a night and I couldn't get her to go back down in her crib. We finally did CIO with progressive waiting because I just couldn't take it anymore.
The first night I put her in the crib awake and went back in at 3 minutes, 5 minutes, and then every 10 minutes until she was asleep. It took 90 minutes for her to fall asleep the first night. It took 22 minutes the second night, and 16 minutes the third night. After that I never had to go in again because she was asleep within 5 minutes. Now she doesn't fuss at all and STTN. I know CIO is not for everyone, but it worked for us.
Congrats to my TTC buddies Amberley18 and tdmd09!
After 25 months- medicated cycles and a failed IUI- The most planned surprise baby ever is on his way!
Our pediatrician's office has sleep classes periodically throughout the year. I might look for one, or a sleep specialist, if you are really at your breaking point. The classes at our peds office is $40, and it is a great way to learn tricks, but also be able to ask questions from a baby sleep expert.
I hope you figure something out, because that doesn't sound like it is fun for mama or baby.
B Born 6.27.13
Although I hate the thought of CIO I was trying it. The other night he got to crying to hard (literally in like 3 minutes) and when I went in to get him after his nap his face was covered in little tiny bruises from broken capillaries. Since then I am to afraid to let him cry.
Congrats to my TTC buddies Amberley18 and tdmd09!
After 25 months- medicated cycles and a failed IUI- The most planned surprise baby ever is on his way!
I totally understand. That first night when she cried/fussed for 90 minutes was hard. But I stuck to it because consistency is key and it got so much easier with each passing night. Read "Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems" by Richard Ferber. As I was reading the book light bulbs were going off, like "yes, this is M!" It talks about sleep associations and how to break them. M's sleep association was me, she thought she needed me to be holding her in order to sleep. She had to learn how to fall asleep on her own and self soothe.
I also read "The No Cry Sleep Solution" and we tried those methods but they didn't help us.
Good luck!
while in the RNP he got to a point where he refused to let us walk or rock him. we could put him down, he wouldn't say a peep and he would be asleep within 10 minutes. but last week we finally transitioned him to the crib (well, more like cold turkey i guess. the naps throughout the day went well so we decided just to do the same at night). it's not quite as easy and the naps haven't been great.
i lay him down and if he starts screaming (which, he usually does, tired or not), we will grab a bottle for him (for naps it's more like 2-4oz, bedtime it might be a full bottle that we start feeding him, pause, read a book, lay him down and have him finish it) and let him have that bottle while he lays down. *most* times (not all) he will still cry when we walk away but it will be a more cranky/whiney cry. we know that he has two distinct cries-one that is blood curdling and yelling and it will not stop, it will only get worse and get to hyperventilating. the other is more of a cranky/whiney cry that we know in time will stop. sometimes it's as soon as we walk away, other times it's 5-10 minutes. but almost always he will give in and calm down. he might not go to sleep immediately but he will hang out in the quiet and peacefully fall asleep.
i also learned that for some really weird reason hovering over him and trying to calm him actually upsets him more. it's kind of sad, but that's just how he is. a lot of times if i just walk away he will begin to calm down. he won't take a paci and doesn't seem to be calmed by anything that i can do (stroking head/hair, back, bum, etc).
so, to recap: blood curdling screaming = bottle in bed then quickly leaving. OH, also, since he is new to the crib sometimes i leave him with his A&A blanket. sometimes it does calm him and he rubs his sleepy eyes with it. we let him have the blanket at night in the RNP but the crib we aren't sold on to do at night. i watch him on the monitor and go in when i go to sleep to carefully peel it away from him. and fwiw: jack is up 1-3x/night, but goes right back to sleep once he is done eating. we haven't considered doing a CIO with MOTN feedings yet. he doesn't need it to survive but we feel it may be a psychological need that he needs us to fulfill and we think he may still be too little to manipulate just yet. but in the upcoming months we will revisit and discuss.
and a tip to the moms to be: the whole idea of putting them in the car or carrier to sleep is not a bad idea. however, in our experience it only means that once the car stops, or the seat brought in, the baby would wake right back up and we felt like that still wasn't solving the problem, only putting a bandaid on it temporarily. same with the carrier. unless you wanted to have him sleep in the carrier at night (which is not recommended) then it was only helpful during the day.
we never had a swing and i'm really glad that we didn't. we already had to break him from the RNP (though i don't regret it-it was SO good to us) but i hear so many talk about their babies only wanting to nap in the swing and that is one issue we did not have. i was glad to have that not be a habit formed in our routine.
Has it gotten worse since DH left? Maybe he misses his dad or possibly senses that you are stressed and it is causing him stress. I have no advice for you except hopes that it gets better
"Do the best you can, until you know better. Then when you know better, do better."
-Maya Angelou
This is a good point, and it would make sense. Not sure hat you would do about it though...
And Im sorry sb, he really is being stubborn.
My sister takes her kids for a car ride at nap time every day for them to fall asleep. She usually plans an adventure around lunch time and then they either eat outside (in nice weather) or the car, in bad weather. She drives around until they fall asleep and then she transfers them to their bed. They are almost 3.5 and 2. I'm not knocking it (because, hey, it works) and I'm not endorsing it. I really just find it fascinating.
B Born 6.27.13
I found with Ava Nichol her sleep problems were definitely revolving around her schedule. I have had to revamp her schedule multiple times throughout these 14 months. I found she has to have a full belly but won't fall asleep right after eating. She does well with high energy activities followed by a wind down period of reading books or other light activity. We hold her with her fuzzy blankie and her binky until she falls asleep and that works for us. Sometimes she needs a stuffed animal to distract her while we hold her.
Also, we moved Ava Nichol into a toddler bed at 11 months and she has slept better in that than she ever did in her crib. It works because we get her to sleep before we put her down and she just gets up and knocks on her door when she is done.
Our Little Raspberry-Born 3/27/12
We Said I Do 09/06/09
Congrats to my TTC buddies Amberley18 and tdmd09!
After 25 months- medicated cycles and a failed IUI- The most planned surprise baby ever is on his way!
when they get older-usually sometime after 12 months old-they become more like real kids in that you can take them out of the car, carry them, take their coats/clothes/shoes off, put them in bed and none of it wakes them. babies? meh. when J was little i could bring him in from the outside (or for awhile i would purposely put him in his car seat and in the swing to get him to fall asleep so that he would be asleep when we left) and he would stay asleep until he was ready to wake. around 4/5 months that stopped happening. anymore he wakes as soon as the car stops (so it makes even swinging through a drive thru hard sometimes). sometimes he will sleep a little bit longer but i definitely can't take him out of the seat or take the seat out of the car or he will wake up immediately.
last week i drove around for an hour just to let him get a decent nap before pulling in to target since he fell asleep. we did the same thing sunday before church since we were going to be a few minutes late for 9am mass anyways.