Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Need advice about telling parents
I'm only 8 weeks so I have a little time to figure this out but I have a dilemma.
My parents got divorced when I was 18 and they don't play nice (unless it is a wedding, baptism or funeral). They avoid being in the same place, at the same time at all costs.
Since they aren't going to be in the same place, at the same time, I'm struggling with who to tell first. If I don't tell my mom first, she will be over dramatic about it and proclaim how hurt she is to anyone that will listen. However, my dad is leaving on a two week business trip around the same time we would be entering the safe zone. I personally think it would be wrong for my dad to find out two weeks after my mom rather than around the same time.
DH told me it is my decision what we do and he'd support me either way.
My dad is still in touch with my mom's side (thy were married for 26 years), so if he slips and tells one of them the date he found out, it'll spread like wild fire and definitively get back to my mom.
any thoughts?
Re: Need advice about telling parents
I called my parents within 10 minutes of each other. They're divorced, but I'm lucky that they get along. My dad got the call first because he always answers his phone, unlike my mom who never answers.
I don't have any advice other than do what you think/feels is right. I'm sure they'll be thrilled either way!
My parents are divorced too.
Our dilemma was figuring out how to tell my mom and DH's mom. They would have been upset to find out far apart from each other.
We told my mom (and mom's family) Christmas Eve (at night) and swore them to secrecy. We told DH's mom on (and family) on Christmas morning.
If it were me, I would come up with a plan where you see them close to each other (within a day or a weekend) and tell them then.
When you've been married this long, you need a ticker to remind you.
Baby Boy M - 08/01/2013
This was the original plan. I would end up seeing my dad first. My mom is moving back into the area and I would see her until that weekend. My dad leaves the following Sunday morning. We were hoping to do this in person for each. I think I just may tell my dad first and beg him to keep his mouth shut.
This is how DH's family is and everything is a delicate matter. We have figured out a very specific way of telling each family member any news in a specific order. We had already learned from experience when everything blew up when we told them we were engaged.
If you think you can tell your dad, oh hey I haven't told mom yet so can you keep quiet about it until this day then I think that would be a good plan.
Our Little Raspberry-Born 3/27/12
We Said I Do 09/06/09
my advice?
there is no "safe" zone. that's a bunch of bullcrap and something people say to make themselves feel better.
so tell people whenever you want. things can happen from now through birth. just ask a few of the girls here, unfortunately.
I'd flip a coin. Heads, call your mom first. Tails, call your dad. If the first one doesn't answer, call the second. If they question why you called the other first, tell them you flipped a coin.
They need to not put you in the middle of this. It is ridiculous.
FET - transferred two embryos (boy and girl) - Nov 2014 - BFP!
I would tell your mom and then call your dad.
ETA It sounds like your mom would care more about knowing first, which is why I think you should just tell her first.
my blog
My thoughts exactly. I've been playing ref for the past 10 years with them.