Family Matters
LaLovely
member
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Are you related to step-parents family?
This is just for curriosity, but my h parents are divorced his father remarried after he was grown. Is he related to his step-mothers sisters and brother? Am i wrong for NOT calling these people cousin, aunt uncle ect.... My husband does and i think it's weird.Especially since he didn't grow up with these people.
Re: Are you related to step-parents family?
I have a stepmother. Yes, her sisters are my aunts. Her mom was my grammie. But granted- my dad married her when I was 6 and I basically grew up with her.
Past that - this isn't your place to judge. It's an individual choice and it can go either way. Your DH feels close enough/ wants to call them these terms? I see nothing wrong with it.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
What do you want him to call these people? "Honey, I'd like you to meet step-Aunt Elizabeth and her daughter step-cousin Betsey."
You're not blood related to 1/2 your Aunts and Uncles anyway: Your dad's brother is your uncle by blood, and you call him Uncle Fred. Uncle Fred's wife usually isn't related to you by blood, but you probably call her Aunt Fredina anyway.
I've had a step-mom since I was literally still in my mother's belly. She is my second mom. Her sister is my aunt, her brother is my uncle, her parents are my memaw and pop. Her son is my brother. I also have a step-sister from my mom, but I just call her my sister.
I think it would be different if I was grown when my mom or dad remarried..
get off your high horse and realize that LOVE makes a family, not blood.
fwiw, you aren't a blood relative to your in laws either...you sound like a real peach
He calls them aunt and cousin which doesn't bother me i just thought it was weird. I never know how to refer to them.
Calling it "weird" is judging it and that is what we are responding to. If you want advice on figuring out what to call them, then ask us that. But as many of us are products of step-families- calling it weird comes across as rude and as if being "blood" is all that matters.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
First of all, calling something WEIRD is, at best saying that you find it strange or extraordinarily odd. That is pretty judgmental.
As for having two sets of folks on each side being confusing...it is no more confusing that what your mother and/or father had to do when THEY got married and THEY somehow survived it. Heck YOU somehow survived having two grandmothers, two grandfathers, two sets of aunts, two sets of uncles, two sets of cousins.
What did you expect when you got married? That you would only have to add on your husband's mother and father? What the hell would you have done if he came from a huge italian, greek or hispanic background? I have an intact family of 5 aunts and 20 cousins (I am not going to count my second and third cousins, that might just confuse you more).
Its really not hard keeping people straight - you do it every day in the real/business world when you meet someone new. You get their name and affiliation and how to address them. SO why is it so terribly hard here?
My biological father has been out of my life for sometime, as well as most of his family, so my stepfather's family is my family. My "blood family" probably consists solely of my mother and my sister. They're my aunts, uncles, grandparents, etc. They've come to my graduations, birthday parties, my wedding, I've spent holidays with them, so I would say, yes, I am related to my stepfather's family. My family are the people that have loved and supported me in my life, not the people I share DNA with. Even if my father was still around and we had a relationship, I would still refer to them as aunt, uncle, etc. He's my mom's husband, and we are family now.
**6.30.12** I have found the one whom my soul loves.
Depends on the situation. My husband parents divorced when he was in high school. His dad remarried when we were in college. He is somewhat close to his dad but not terribly close to the step mom. We refer to her as stepmom. she would love for us to call her mom, but we just arent that close to her. It just doesn't feel right. Heck, they have never even lived in the same house. as for her siblings, our "step aunt and uncles" we generally just refer to them by their names. but then again we refer to our own aunts and uncles by their names, we rarely say "aunt Sue" therfore calling somone "Step-aunt Michelle" would be very odd in this family. We are fairly close in age, get along and spend time with 1 of his 2 stepsisters. In conversation with others I tend to refer to the one we are closest to as "his sister" and the other one as his "step-sister". I'm sure to others it sounds wierd, but to us it boils down to how close of a relationship it is. Just because his dad chose to marry into that family doesn't automatically make the rest of us love each other and bond well enough to call each other mom, sister, aunt and uncle. I think it's a very individual thing.
had his dad married when he was very young and the stepmom played a vital role in raising him, he might feel differently.
to each his own, call them whatever you like as long as it isn't offensive.