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T Dropped the Bomb...(vent)
I have probably said this before but....T and I decided around March that we were going to stop TTC. We really want to take our trip to Disney World, I want some more semesters of college under my belt, we want to move out of the city back to our hometown...etc. etc. We talked a lot about it and we were both happy with our decision.
Or so I thought...
Last night, T decides to tell me that he really wants to start TTC again. And I started feeling cruddy and selfish. I know the man is eager to start our family, and I am too...but I want do some things or myself first...school being the huge one. I worked really hard for two years and things are finally falling perfectly into place for this coming year. I know myself...if we TTC and I get pregnant, I won't finish my degree.
T understands, I think, but still think it's unfair. Ugh.
End of vent.
01.21.2012---> I married a redhead I'm crazy about.
04.2016: IT'S A BOY! Elias Alan is due!
WDW trips: 05/14 (1st trip! Art of Animation; Little Mermaid), 05/15 (Pop Century!). DL Trips: 12/15
Re: T Dropped the Bomb...(vent)
I totally understand this rant. It is unfair. As much as our husbands try to understand how a pregnancy and a baby would effect us as women, it really is different for them.
Ultimately, I feel as though if you don't finish what you want to set out to do first, you may regret diving in to TTC. Wanting to finish school is a completely reasonable reason to wait on TTC. How much longer do you have on your degree?
There is never the perfect time to have kids, and if you wait for it, the opportunity may never appear. But at the same time, you want to be at a place where you have accomplished certain things you've set out to do.
I guess I'll finish this post with two contradicting comments
1.) (courtesy of our Mark) "Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbour. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover" - Mark Twain
AND
2.) "Wisely, and slow. They stumble that run fast" -William Shakespeare
You'll know what is right for you and when; and hopefully when the time comes, it happens for both you and your husband at the same time
Thank you = )
I have at least two...possibly three years. And it will only be a bachelor's. It depends on how my credits transfer (as a direct class or just general credit).
I know there will never be a "perfect time" but I least want to do a few things...school being a huge one. I keep bringing this up to T and he keeps saying "I'll help..." That's not the point T. It's already going to be hard enough to work full time and go to school full time. No idea what I would do with a baby in the mix. I'm not bashing anyone or whatnot. In fact, I greatly admire women who work, have children and go to school, or any combination of these things. It just doesn't fit me personally.
01.21.2012---> I married a redhead I'm crazy about.
04.2016: IT'S A BOY! Elias Alan is due!
WDW trips: 05/14 (1st trip! Art of Animation; Little Mermaid), 05/15 (Pop Century!). DL Trips: 12/15
I completely understand. Jared keeps saying "oh you can be pregnant while getting your degree". Uhh, maybe not? Pregnancy (and babies) are different for everyone. I respect individuals in my program who work, have babies, etc. But honestly, especially with Jared up in Seattle this next year, I can't do it. No matter how tempting it is
I'm sure it'll all work out! You'll get your degree, then have wonderful, beautiful babies, etc. Don'tcha hate waiting?
So glad I am not alone. = )
And thank you again = ). waiting stinks sometimes but it'll all be worth it down the road. Especially when I don't have to work at a gas station anymore...can't wait for that day!
01.21.2012---> I married a redhead I'm crazy about.
04.2016: IT'S A BOY! Elias Alan is due!
WDW trips: 05/14 (1st trip! Art of Animation; Little Mermaid), 05/15 (Pop Century!). DL Trips: 12/15
Haha totally not alone. We have maybe 9 months at the very least to start TTC. And that's being optimistic haha. At least I've decided to stop taking the pill in August when I'm back down in California. Kind of hard to get pregnant with Jared two states away haha.
And waiting does suck. It's so hard to look at the bigger picture. At least there's no gas station at the end!!!
So exciting there 
Married the love of my life on 1-21-12. Our princess arrived on 5-28-13.
Thanks for the insight Tara = ) I appreciate it. There's no way to know how I"m going to feel when I'm pregnant/have a baby, until it happens. I just don't want to go on overload.
I think T is just surprised because for awhile I was very "let's have a baby! let's have a baby!" Then I realized I really wanted to finish school first and would rather wait for a bit.
I'm going to leave it alone for a few days and then revisit the conversation. I for sure don't want this to turn into a fight. I know T will understand, once he gets over the "shock" I guess you could say. I know he supports my decision to go to school...I just have to tell him I'm not super women lol.
Thanks for listening once again = )
01.21.2012---> I married a redhead I'm crazy about.
04.2016: IT'S A BOY! Elias Alan is due!
WDW trips: 05/14 (1st trip! Art of Animation; Little Mermaid), 05/15 (Pop Century!). DL Trips: 12/15
I tototally get everything single thing you are saying. It is really rough. I was having those same feelings a few years ago. Although, I wasn't married, but I knew what I wanted. Looking back, I know I couldn't of done it. So many nights working so hard for the degree. I would have been exhausted trying to take care of a little one and then no energy when they went to bed. Yes T is going to help, no doubt, but he can't breast-feed (if you were going to do that). He can't do it all because he is human. It would have to be a shared responsibility.
J is the one that is unsure of kids in our life right now, but his brain is always on the financial part of things. Maybe if you approached it as I am setting up a financial future for our child to not struggle. Maybe it will then click for him that it isn't a decision that you want to make, but rather its one that you are doing for the unborn child. But of course, we have different husbands, so they may totally think differently.
new topic but related...
What are you thinking of studying? You could look at the pay increase that you would get with a Bach. degree. Also, please if you need any help, let me know!!! College stuff is part of my degree, and I enjoy it. I spoon feed it to my kids in my elementary school. I am really hoping that by learning stuff like this, it will make them go. Side-note- college isn't for everyone, I know that...I am just saying I want my kids to do something rather than nothing (like some of their parents). A little story that warms my heart...
When I set up my classroom, I put my diploma's up because I look so young, and I wanted them to get me some respect. My kids in my classes are all fascinated with them. They want to touch them, they want to know how to get them, they want to read them. We passed them around, while they asked me questions. If they are a little rowdy, I can usually say..."if we can get through this lesson, you will have 5 minutes to ask me any questions about college or careers." and that works every time. I am hoping that I am making a difference in their lives, and showing them that this is possible. Ok back to the point of this post...your unborn child will have the opportunities that most of my students (in the story) don't get. You are setting up a better life for them, teaching them to reach their goals, and showing them that with determination, you can do it (even if its hard or means giving up on what you want now).
Sorry if that got off on a tangent. Can you tell I am passionate about my job?
I am not sure how I could possibly top all of the wonderful advice that has already been given, but I am going to give it a try.
I completely understand at this point. I could not even imagine trying to be someone's mom at this point in my life. Not that I don't want to have a family someday, but I am still at the point in my life where I still want life to be about me. I know, that sounds selfish, but it is true. I want to make sure that not only have I had a few years to live alone with J, but I also want to make sure that I am ready for a baby. I know that people say you are never truly ready, but I want a few more years to get ready financially.
J's parents had him at 24, and my parents had me at 32, and the difference in our childhoods is astounding. (I partially blame this on his addiction to junk food. He never had it growing up, because his parents couldn't afford it, and now that we can, it is all he wants to eat!) My MIL constantly tells me stories of how they could barely make it from week to week, and yet she is the one that is constantly making grandbaby quips.
Sorry about the rant there, and getting back to my advice... My point is, that you are still very young, and even if, god forbid, you have problems conceiving, you still have plenty of time to work that out, and still not have age related pregnancy problems. Not to mention, you have to do what is best for you, because in the long run, what is best for you and what makes you happy and a better person makes it the best for the baby in the future.