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pennstated912
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
DH has a conference the week LO is due
in GP Moms
DH's company has a global meeting every January to discuss the end of the fiscal year and the beginning of the new one. They also "celebrate" (aka get totally wasted 7 straight nights) the good year.
It is a mandatory meeting. It takes place the third week of January every year. My due date is January 19 and that's the day that DH would be scheduled to leave. Regardless if I go early or later than my due date, DH would be leaving me with a newborn under a month old to basically go get trashed.
He says that his direct boss says he still has to go. Should he reach out to someone higher in rank and explain? If he goes, it will probably cause a huge rift between us.
Re: DH has a conference the week LO is due
I'd definitely have him speak to someone. There's a chance you won't even have given birth yet and if that's the case I can't imagine them insisting he go away and miss the birth or leave you alone that late in the game to fend for yourself. I also can't imagine any company insisting he be gone if you did just give birth and need his help. Is his company large enough where FMLA applies? If so, that should protect his job. What are his sick leave and vacation policies?
If worst case scenario he has to go, is there someone else that could help you out?
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It is usually on location somewhere fancy. The years he's been with the company, they've gone to Germany, Cancun, Arizona and Colorado. We live in Pennsylvania.
He asked his boss if he could telecommute the meetings part and his boss said that he doesn't know if it is possible because it will cost the company money to set up a telecommute for solely him.
If this was truly just a meeting, I probably would have less of a problem. It is the fact that last year they drove to Vegas, gambled and did rounds of absinthe (for those who don't know - high alcohol content drink that includes hallucinogenic drugs). Him leaving for a "meeting" where he is going to act like an irresponsible teenager just doesn't fly with me when there would be a baby at home.
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just fyi... in the US, they don't serve absinthe with wormwood (the hallucinogenic property of other absinthes). It's not legal to serve that. Here, it's just a high proof alcohol. Now if he were in Europe, it would be a different story.
That aside, I'm sorry. The whole situation sucks. I would be bullish!t with DH if he were going to miss anything with the birth/first weeks. I hope you guys can figure something out.
...hello out there!
dx with anovulatory PCOS 2005
off bcp 11/11
a few rounds of clomid and femara... no response.
injectables/IUI 12/12... BFN
Feb 13 IVF cycle converted down to IUI due to low follicle response... BFFN
one last IVF attempt April/May 2013: 19 retrieved. 10 fertilized. 2 transferred in a 3dt. 4 frosties... BFP!!
EDD: 1/21/14... Induced early at 36+6. Our LO was born 12/30/13
Our Little Raspberry-Born 3/27/12
We Said I Do 09/06/09
Have him talk to HR! Thats what HR is there for. I seriously doubt that there isn't a way out of that meeting...that would be like telling someone whose family member just died that they couldn't go on bereavement leave...
I hope this gets resolved soon, you shouldn't have to be stressing over this.
I have to agree. Though it does suck and I sincerely hope that someone will work with you. (Though to be fair I'm an Army wife and I am entirely to used to having the Army come first and family second so take my opinion with a grain of salt.)
Congrats to my TTC buddies Amberley18 and tdmd09!
After 25 months- medicated cycles and a failed IUI- The most planned surprise baby ever is on his way!
It would totally suck for him to miss the birth. As for the first week of the baby being home, another family member or friend could help while he was away. I would first talk to someone higher up in the company about telecommuting. Skype is free! I would also talk to you OB about the situation in case he cannot get out of it and see if you can definitely have the baby by your due date. This depends on how you and your OB feel about induction, etc (I am not trying to cause a debate on whether it is okay or not to induce the day before EDD but throwing it out there since it is your OB's call!)
If he does have to go, could he sweet talk them into giving him an extra paid week off afterward to be with you and baby? Lay a guilt trip on them and have you benefit out of it?
I was in the hospital 5 days after having the babies (4 b/c of csection and the last b/c my bp shot up). My DH went to work those days so he could be home when I came home. So he was there for the birth, then the evenings in the hospital which he didn't really need to be honestly.
PAIF and SAIF welcome. IVF questions welcome, too.
This is something that DH actually brought up. He going to be calling HR and someone higher up on Monday (he's currently away on a business trip - he travels 120 days a year).
If we can't get something worked out, we will talk to our doctor about induction. I'm okay with it as long as it is as close to the due date as safely possible. So is DH. No debate here
We will cross that bridge when when we come to it, though.
Thanks for all of your advice, ladies! It is something that occurred to us on Friday and we have been in a flurry ever since.
5 cats. 1 baby.
Yeah, this is where I am. F that.
FET - transferred two embryos (boy and girl) - Nov 2014 - BFP!
i like how you girls think. This is where I am too. I'm going to wait to hear what his HR person has to say first before I completely explode. Lol
1/5/11 Femara Cycle #1 = BFN
2/4/11 Femara Cycle #2 = BFP: 3/4/11 - Starting Progesterone supositiories
Beta#1 15DPO = 108; Beta#2 17DPO = 179; Beta#3 18DPO = 259; Beta 4# 20DPO =659!!
TTC#2 Pulled goalie 5/12, PPAF 3/13, BFP 6/27 Beta 15DPO=248!
Dx Severe Hydrocephalus and severe Dandy Walker Cyst.
Stillborn 10/19
Missing Noah Chart Teacher Bud
One more day/ One more time/ One more moment maybe I'd be satisfied/But then again/ I know what if would do/ Leave me wishing still, for one more day with you.""