Discouraged vent

kushie77 · June 2013

Girls, I'm sorry to dump this here, but I really don't know who else to whine to. As you know we've been struggling with infertility and just saw a new dr who has ordered some testing. We have to wait until next cycle to have the testing done-not a big deal. Here's the problem. H had an appointment today with his rheumatology doctor as he has an autoimmune disorder that causes a lot of inflammation. Well we have to change medications and the only option left at this point is a medication called methotrexate which is basically a form of chemotherapy. The hitch is that you cannot get pregnant while taking it, it causes severe birth defects and basically kills all his sperm. In fact the Dr stongly suggests that we start birth control next cycle. So do we hold off taking this med and risk H's health or do we just scrap the whole TTC and buy a few dozen cats. I'm a wreck, H is trying to hold it together for me, but I'm just not sure what to do or even think at this point. sorry for whining.

leopardgurl831 · June 2013

Im sorry your going through this. Could you maybe have DHs sperm saved and then try for and IUI or IVF? I really have no idea on cost and coverage, but if you save them it will at least give you the option.

((HUGS))

GustieRx · June 2013

I'm sorry you have to go through this! I think really only you and H can decide what to do, but I'm sure this is a really, really hard decision. As PP said, would sperm banking be an option? I'm sure it's expensive, but could be an option? As far as deciding on the MTX or not, I assume that if it's come to this he is experiencing a lot of pain/inflammation? I would say maybe he could wait to start it for a few more cycles, see what happens, but I know that this would be a last-line type of option, and they wouldn't be considering it if it wasn't significantly impacting his daily life. Unfortunately, as you pointed out, MTX therapy has risks. I really don't know what to tell you. I know how disappointed I would be if I found out we couldn't conceive, but then at the same time your husband's health is important as well. Really sucky position you guys are in. Sending lots of thoughts, prayers and hugs your way as you guys decide what direction to go in!

cpm1223 · June 2013

leopardgurl831:
Im sorry your going through this. Could you maybe have DHs sperm saved and then try for and IUI or IVF? I really have no idea on cost and coverage, but if you save them it will at least give you the option.

((HUGS))

this is what I wa thinking too. Will your H be on these meds for a long time? If its something like over a year then I would look into this but if its a 3 month thing, then I'd be more inclined to just hold off with TTC until those couple of months are over.

I'm so sorry Kushie, I hope that everything works out for you guys.

mildlymailyn · June 2013

Don't be sorry! I don't know what to tell you but I am sending hugs and prayers your way. I know how scary it is to put your health on the back burner to be able to have a child. Please remember that there are so many options for everything. Talk to as many doctors as you can to get the best result for you.

Melissa51212 · June 2013

I just want to give hugs..I am so sorry you are going through this. Many T & P for you.

adventureisoutthere · June 2013

Awww, i'm so sorry this is happening!! Much like everyone else, my first thought was can you bank his sperm before he needs to start taking the meds?

I really have no words of wisdom or anything, just wanted to say that that really sucks and i'm sorry you have to deal with all of this!

bpphoto785 · June 2013

Oh Leah I am so sorry! I can't even imagine. I guess what I would do is talk to your fertility Dr. and see what they recommend. In the meantime, you'll be in my thoughts and I'll be sending lots of good nestie vibes your way!!