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Venting
So the past two weeks or so, we've kind of decided on buying a house instead of renting. We should qualify for a decent loan with both of our new jobs, and we have great credit, so we should get a decent interest rate, as well. We contacted a realtor friend of H's family, and she put us in touch with a lender. We've filled out the application and I've been back and forth with her a few times getting her what she needs.
Right now the hardest part is verifying our income since H just started and hasn't gotten paid yet, and my new salary won't go into effect until August. She sent me a form for us to sign so that she can check with our employers to verify employment and salary to see what we qualify for. I have no problem with this. When I told H he said he doesn't want to. He's said he will because I told him there's no other way, but he'd be unhappy about it. He says that he doesn't want to "bother anyone" with this.
Okay, I get his point a little, tiny bit. But he works for the state's dept. of transportation...they have an HR department, that inquiries like that are part of their jobs. I don't see what the big deal is, but it bothers H. I don't know if he's saying it because he really thinks that, or if he's freaked out by the idea of us buying a house and doesn't want to tell me. He doesn't always speak up, and I plan on talking to him about it tonight, but what do you guys think?
Re: Venting
My H has the same "I don't want to bother anyone" mentality too. I would restate the point that places have HR departments to field questions like this. Also, people buy houses / need financing all the time, so I'm sure the HR dept is used to these types of verifications.
I would ask him if he's nervous about buying a house. It's better to talk about it now than to go further in the home buying process with him being uncomfortable.
I used to work in the HR department for my school district. One person's only job was to generate those letters for loans. It had to be submitted in writing. You usually fill out a form granting the bank permission to receive the information and the bank forwards that form to your employer. They can't release information about you. All the letter will say is Jen's husband is employed here, the date of hire and current salary. It's pretty simple.
I understand your frustration, but maybe there is something more going through your H's head. Definitely sit down and talk to him. Buying a house is a huge financial commitment and maybe your H is getting nervous.