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G's birth story - SUPER long
This is long overdue and VERY long, but here's what happened, if you're interested.
I headed into my 39 week appointment with my midwife on Thursday, May 23 around 9 am. Things felt different, but I didn't want to get myself too excited.
The appointment went well. I had planned on refusing all cervical checks until I was due or overdue since I didn't want to get too excited too early, but I had been having on and off contractions and cramping for about a week, and I was curious to know what my body was doing. So, I let her check me. 1 cm dilated and about 80% effaced. Small progress, but it was nice to see that the obnoxious discomfort I had been through that week had done something.
I headed home and started feeling a bit crampy with more Braxton Hicks contractions. I at some lunch and took a nap until about 2 pm. When I woke up, things felt a bit different. I had lost some of my mucus plug the day before, and when I went to the bathroom, I discovered more had come out. I sent a text to DH and our doula to give them the heads up that things felt different.
I puttered around the house and worked on packing my hospital bag and doing a last minute load of laundry. DH came home, and we had dinner. I was taking it pretty easy just laying around and watching TV and having lots of contractions. I decided to try and get in another nap and see if sleep would make the contractions go away.
We fell asleep on the couch after dinner. I woke up around midnight to stronger contractions and decided to get up and try to move things along/see if they would go away. They didn't go away, so I got DH up around 1 to let him know what was going on and to have him help me through them. I'm laughing at myself now for thinking I needed help with these. Whatever. That was nothing. I labored at home on the bed, on the yoga ball, and in the shower for about 5 hours.
We decided to head into the hospital around 5 am. Contractions were in a decent pattern about 4-6 minutes apart. I probably could have stayed at home longer, but I felt the need to get in there, get checked, and labor in the birthing tub. On the way to the hospital, my contractions slowed down some. The moon was very full and bright.
We got to the hospital and went up to triage. I signed some paperwork, got my hospital bracelet, and got into a room. They hooked me up to the monitors to monitor my contractions and check on Sprout's heart rate. Of course, the change of scenery messed up my contractions, and they slowed way down.
The midwife on duty came in to check me. I honestly don't remember which midwife it was. I was 4 cm and 80% effaced - not nearly where I had hoped to be. I had a long way to go. They got me off the monitors and scooted me down the hallway into a birthing room. We started filling up the tub so I could labor in there for a while.
This part is kind of a blur. I labored in the tub for a while. My doula and my mom showed up. I tried changing positions during contractions, but I was getting back labor, and it was hard to find a "comfortable" position. Sprout was posterior (sunny-side up), which was causing the back labor. I remember trying to make low vocalizations through the contractions.
At some point, they attached wireless monitors to my belly with straps. That was very uncomfortable, but they didn't like that Sprout's heart rate was inconsistent throughout contractions.
I got out of the tub to labor on the bed. I don't know how long I was in that position. I think I tried walking the halls, but I had to go to the bathroom, so I went back to our room. Laboring on the toilet was actually one of the more comfortable positions. I got checked and was very disappointed that I was only at 6 cm.
This is when things got very intense. Again, it's all kind of blurry, so I'll just give you what I remember. I threw up a lot, and I started screaming through contractions. My body started pushing. I was laboring on the toilet and my water broke all over DH who was kneeling in front of me. The water was tinged green with meconium.
I was checked and was at 9 cm with a lip of cervix. They told me not to push until that lip went away. Otherwise, I would make it swell and it might not retract. One midwife tried to move it back, but it didn't stay back, and she didn't try again. This was the worst part - trying not pushing when your body is doing it anyway. I lost all control. I started screaming through each contraction, begging anyone to help me. I wanted something for the pain, but no one would listen to me or give me anything. I thought I was going to die. I didn't think I could do it. I have a lot of anger about this point in my labor. I felt abandoned. I know everyone was trying to stick to my wishes of a med-free birth, but things were so bad. I wanted someone to at least show an interest in doing something to help, and I feel like no one was taking me seriously.
I begged for an epidural. Finally, they put me on the list. I cried and cried for giving up and apologized to DH and my doula. I felt so horrible that I couldn't do this especially when I was so close. They got an IV in and told me it would be almost an hour until I could get the epi. I didn't care. I was relieved someone was helping me.
One of the more experienced midwives came in with a great sense of calm. She tried moving the lip of my cervix back again, and she got it. She said I could push. I finally felt like I could actually have this baby. It was really going to happen. We canceled the epidural and removed the IV.
I pushed for 2.5 hours. I got Sprout down to where we could see about 2 inches of head during pushes, but I couldn't get the head out. They couldn't get a heart rate on the doppler, so we consented to have them attach a monitor to Sprout's head. The first one didn't work, so they had to do a second one. I had not wanted them to do this because the internal monitors screw into baby's head. However, the midwife said to me, "I am concerned about the health of your baby" in a very serious way, scared the shit out of me, and I consented. Sprout was fine.
I pushed in a reclined squat, in a full squat, playing tug of war. I couldn't get Sprout's head out. I hit a wall. I was begging for help again. They called in a team of OBs who would give me some options. I spoke briefly with the OBs who threw out words like "episiotomy" and "vacuum". I consented to an episiotomy. At that point, I wanted the baby out. I didn't care how.
Suddenly, there were a million people in the room. The OBs got to work on me, and a team of pediatricians got ready for the baby. Since there was meconium in the amniotic fluid, we didn't know what condition Sprout would be in. I will never forget the sound of the episiotomy being cut *shudder*. I pushed a couple of big pushes, and I guess (I couldn't see and I don't really remember) that they helped wiggle Sprout out of there. I have a picture in my mind of the first time seeing my baby. Sprout was off-color from the meconium and wasn't crying. They cut the cord immediately and took the baby to the other side of the room so the team of pediatricians could work on the baby.
They stuck a shot of pitocin in my leg to help my uterus contract to avoid hemorrhaging since I had been laboring so hard for so long. The placenta was delivered. I realized I didn't know if I had a boy or girl. I yelled at DH to go find out before someone else told me. He looked over at me with tears in his eyes and said, "We have a Gus!" It's a boy!
They had to take him away to "the nest" which is where babies go to be monitored and worked on before they send them back to their parents room or to the NICU since he had inhaled meconium. They let me touch G and give him a kiss before they took him away. I sent DH and my best friend, who had shown up right around the time labor got really bad, with G so he wouldn't be alone. I stayed in the room and got stitched up.
I don't remember where my mom went. My doula held my hand through the stitches. I was shaking from head to toe. I couldn't put my legs down. I could barely move. They brought me warm blankets and wrapped me up.
My mom came back in the room and brought my dad. My doula left. A really sweet nurse helped me pump G's first meal - 15 ml of colostrum. She was impressed with the volume as was I.
My best friend and DH came back in at separate intervals to give me updates on G. I don't remember what they said except that when DH got to talk to him, he started breathing better and colored up.
A doctor came in and told me G had inhaled meconium. He had to be suctioned out and put on air. He wasn't breathing well. His blood sugars were off. He wasn't in horrible shape, but he needed to be watched. I wouldn't get to have him with me.
Eventually, I got to go see him. I was the last person of all the people who had been at my labor to get to see him. I held his little hand and talked to him. He knew me.
They moved me into a post partum room. Everyone was eating. I was starving. I eventually got some food. Then, I got to go feed G. He got his pumped colostrum, then I was able to put him to the breast - 10 minutes on each side. The doctor was super sweet and sounded hopeful that G would be able to room in with us in a few hours after he was cleared.
When I woke up the next morning, G was not with us and they had not called me in the night to come feed him. Que mini heart attack! He was OK. He was moved to the NICU because of his fluctuating blood sugars. They also wanted to run a 48 hour course of antibiotics. G was in the NICU for 48 hours. He was born on Friday, May 24th at 9:14 pm after 21 hours of labor and came home on Monday, May 27th.
So, I had the med-free birth I had wanted and prepared for, but it was nothing like I expected. I'm happy I got through it without getting the epi, but I also wonder if I would have had a better experience with the epi. I was pretty traumatized the first few weeks after the birth, and I've been going to counseling to sort through these emotions. G is happy and healthy, and I'm recovering well, so all and all it was a success!
Re: G's birth story - SUPER long
I'm sorry your birth experience was traumatic and that G had to spend time in the NICU.
My doctor won't administer an epidural after 7cm dialated and certainly not at 9. Their hands might have been tied with what they could do.
Edit: This wasn't meant to be snarky. More of a psa, if people are on the fence with epidurals.
B Born 6.27.13
From what I've read, it is a doctor by doctor (or hospital by hospital) decision. Some say it is never too late. Some say it is. I asked my doctor after my coworker's sister delivered last week at the same hospital I'm going to. She had planned on an epidural, but her labor was really quick (2.5 hours with 25 minutes of pushing) and by the time she got to the hospital, it was too late to give her an epi.
B Born 6.27.13
Lots of *hugs* for you, hun. I'm sorry it was so traumatic. I cried reading this. I know they were different births, but I had a hard time reconciling not being able to hold or see L right away.
I'm so glad Gus is here and you guys are doing well.
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TTC since May 2010. DX Unexplained IF. IUI #1 in August 2012. Clomid, Menopur plus Ovidrel. BFN. IUI #2 in September 2012. Clomid, Menopur plus Ovidrel. BFN. IUI #3 in October 2012. BFN. IVF in April/May 2013: BFP. Due February 2, 2014 Thank you God!
Wow. I am so sorry it was so traumatizing. It sounds horrible but just know that you did everything you needed to do to get G here safe and sound. Way to go Momma! You are amazing!
Congrats on that beautiful baby boy!! : )
After awhile, you just want to be with the one who makes you laugh. - Mr. Big
I am happy to see that you are in a place now that you can share your story. I am sorry your labor and birth of Gus were traumatic but glad to hear that you are doing what you need to do to handle the emotions associated with all of it. Congratulations again BB!
Our Little Raspberry-Born 3/27/12
We Said I Do 09/06/09
*TTC since 10/11*
BFP: 9/30/12, EDD: 6/15/13
*~*Our miracle arrived on 6/13/13*~*
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Baby Boy M - 08/01/2013
I'm sorry you had such a rough time and felt so abandoned.
I'm glad you and Gus are doing well now.
Congrats to both my TTC buddies, Amberley18 and sb2006 on their beautiful babies!
I find this a little odd. Might just be the timing.
BBliss, I'm so sorry to read this. I'm sorry. I'm also glad to see that you're able to talk about it. Also, the 'He knew me' ... my heart melted.
I've missed you, glad to see. Congrats again on your sweet boy.
GP buddy to blenderdance
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Thank you for the kind words, ladies! It was pretty rough and scary, but I'm proud I made it through. Talking about it and sharing my experience has really helped me come to terms with the whole thing. I hope I haven't scared any moms to be who want to go w/o meds! My experience isn't the norm - just keep that in mind.
Congrats on little Gus botbliss!!
That story is pretty traumatizing, but I'm glad you got the med free birth you wanted. The thing that stuck out at me the most was that you felt abandoned
. I assume this means your doula did not give you the support you needed? I'm sorry to hear that.
Yeah, at a couple of points I really needed her, and she wasn't really helping :-/