October 2012 Weddings
minionlover
mod
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Confession Thursday
Re: Confession Thursday
I confess I'm side-eyeing my CW/friend HARD. She JUST started dating her BF around Thanksgiving (I know they weren't dating at my wedding because he refused to be her date, since they weren't dating), and she got engaged last week. Not judging on the engagement, but the fact the wedding is SEPT! THIS SEPTEMBER! Ummmmmm... WHOA. I asked her about it and she said it was financially better to get married so they could live together and combine finances. finances is not a good reason to rush getting married IMO. They aren't struggling but this way they can "pay more stuff off, and have babies sooner". I don't even think they had their first big fight yet, and this is her first real BF. She's 26 I think, so no bio clock alarming.
I also confess as much as I LOVE my stepkids, I am glad to go back to my normal routine. I can't wait to clean my house and get it back to pre-kids this weekend, oh and SLEEP IN! NO little feet running around at 6am!
ETA - Another confession - I talked H into going to Ikea this weekend for organizing stuff in the kitchen. I looked at the website and I don't think they have exactly what I want, I've seen stuff at Walmart that would work... but I'm not telling H that... I still want to go to IKEA!
Mana - I agree with you that finances is no reason to get married. Why don't they just move in together? And I also agree with going to IKEA anyway. I think their website isn't so hot. The store is much better.
I confess that I am getting really stressed about closing on the house. It costs sooooo money. We are buying some furniture from the sellers, (a leather couch, love seat, chair, ottoman and their dining table set) and now they want us to buy their blinds which are Bali blinds. I think that they are a great price but they don't match the color scheme in the family room so I don't know what to do....why is this so hard?
I just applied for my DREAM job (like 15 minutes ago). I am terrified for several reasons. I am terrified that I'm not good/qualified enough. I am terrified that I will interview, get my hopes up and not get it. I am terrified I will get it and hate what I am doing. I guess I'm second guessing myself. I know I can do the job. Change is hard y'all...
Mana, have fun at Ikea, it's one of our favorite places. You might be surprised what they have there that isn't on the website.
Cathy, try not to stress about the house, I know how hard that is. But, if you don't want the blinds, don't buy them.
ETA: fixing grammar
Mana, I would be super judgy-pants too. I hate when people get married for reasons like that. It drives me crazy that gay marriage isn't legal in every state yet, but straight people can get married for finacial reasons?!
Cathy, buying a house was the most stressful thing I've ever done. I hope everything is smooth sailing from here.
WillyH, I hope you have better luck on your job hunt than I have been!
I confess that I've been having a major pity party for myself lately and have been overly emotional. That job I was interviewing for ended up a no go. I've been actively interviewing since December and have had no luck at all. I'm beyond frustrated! I really hate my job, and I'm feeling very trapped.
On Tuesday I realized I learned I didn't get the job. DH and I were going to go to the pool that night. My only swim suit that fits, the top, had one of the strings get lost in the cup and I could not fish the end out. So, I grabbed an old swimsuit and thought I looked super gross in the bottoms. Not as bad as I looked two summers ago, but still not good. I dropped to the floor and DH found me crying in the closet. I hate feeling this down about everything. I can't stand feeling this sorry for myself, I'm not that kind of person.
Re: Judgy-Pants - thanks for validating my feelings. She said her dad would look down on them for moving in before marriage, stating some Stat about moving in together increases your chance of divorce. I found a currect (2012) study that says otherwise (well if you're engaged and move in you have a better chance at making it to your 15 year anniversary). She moved from California to MD to get away from her judgy parents, so why care?! I think she just wants to hurry up, get married, pay off debt, get a house so she can quit and be a SAH(wilfe/Mom).
Re: IKEA - oh yea, I know how awesome Ikea is... I used to live 10 mins from one! I would go just to peruse for fun. I guess I'm used to seeing the furniture and not really for the other stuff. I know we're getting some lighting as well. Usually H doesn't want me looking around, but I think I deserve it after all I did last week.
Heidi - HUGS! Big huge knottie/nestie HUG! A job is out there somewheres for you! I'm a big believer of everything for a reason... just push through. And I was totally you last week with my bathing suits! I put on my tankini and the top is usually long and covers everything... well... not any more. It was like gapping with the bottoms and oh just awful. I didn't have time to dwell on it until later. I put another top on that I had to keep pulling down. I have a 1 piece but I was too scared to even try. These fit for the HM, I just can't believe how much i've gained, and still can't lose. I'm about to box up the stuff that doesn't fit in my closet, I won't have much left.
We all needs hugs.
Heidi, that sounds like something I would do. I get overwhelmed like that and DH thinks I am crazy because he is so level headed and doesn't let things bother him. I am sure that the bathing suit is fine. I know when I go swimming I just wear a cover up until the last minute before getting into the pool. I don't want to gross anyone out too much. lol
I'm glad a lot of us are on the same page. Haha. I have things that fit for the wedding (like my top for my bachelorette party!) that no longer do. I'm working on it, but I still feel like s***.
Mana, I agree that they shouldn't get married just for financial reasons. Screw what their parents think. She's an adult, and I assume independent from them. But hey, what can you do?
I confess that I'm super stressed and ready to cry over everything. We started hearing back about pre-qualifying for loans today, but they still need a bunch of paperwork. My mom is insisting we should look at doing a 15 year loan instead of a 30 year loan, but to keep our monthly payment reasonable, it drops our maximum price by $40,000. Our favorite houses are $10-15,000 over the 15 year loan amount. H told me he doesn't want to deal with anything until it's time to actually look at houses, which stresses me out.
My physical therapist told me today that while I'm doing better, he thinks that behind my kneecap is jagged which is what's causing a lot of my pain and while he's going to keep working to strengthen my muscles to help relieve some of that, he can't fix that. He also told me to avoid my cardio dance class for a while because it's hurting me.
I'm supposed to start working in just over a month (teaching 3rd grade) and I have no idea what the f I'm doing. One of my team members is quitting (she's pregnant with twins) and the other one, I don't even know how to contact her. I haven't worked in regular ed in 2 years and when I did my student teaching, the oldest grade I worked with is 1st. I'm stressed because I don't know what I'll be teaching, my classroom is huge and I have to figure out how to decorate it...I just need someone to hold my hand and then hug me and let me cry.
We need to move closer - I think we all need a hug and a drink!
Jen - While I understand a 15 year loan is better, do what you want/need to do. The market is so up and down, I'd get the house you can grow in. You can always pay more on it when you can. Even paying 1/12 to your monthly payments more gives you an extra payment towards principal a year. Some lenders let you pay bi-weekly which does the same thing. That knocks something like 7 years off. Or you can refi to a 15 year loan in the future. We did a 5-1 ARM (fixed for 5 years, then it can go up or down 1% per year based on the market) knowing we would be refi'ing with the VA loan within 5 years. We couldn't do the VA loan the first go around since we weren't married and I hold the most income and H had too much debt (Child support = debt to lenders.... having your own kids don't... how is that fair?!).
^^This! Or we need an October 12 Nestie couple's weekend somewhere! Anyone ever been to Mardi Gras?
Umm...I second both of them! haha. I've never been! When is it?
Fat Tuesday, the day before Ash Wednesday in Feb. But I've heard it goes just about every weekend in Feb.
Mana- I love Ikea too. I haven't been able to find a reason to trick H into going. Hopefully we'll find a house soon and then we'll have to go. Have fun!
Jen- Don't stress. When I first got my own classroom, I went in to set up the room and it was a mess. The teacher left things up in a giant mess, materials were disorganized. I called up my mom nearly crying and told her that I could not do it. She told me to calm down and do thins one step at a time. I went through, corner by corner, and straightened/set up everything. People will help you. If you need, take a picture of the classroom and get it to me. I can make suggestions. September will begin my 9th year teaching and I am currently in my 5th classroom. Every room was a different shape and size with little or no furniture. As for planning, you can do it. For the first week or so, plan a day or 2 at time. Once you get to know your students, then you can do week long plans. If you need first week suggestions, let me know. YOU'LL DO GREAT!!!!
That would be awesome!