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Ever been to a wedding party months after the actual wedding?
Just curious to see if anyone here has ever been to a wedding reception months after a couple actually got married.
One of our friends ran off and eloped a little bit after NYE and his parents are having a reception party at their house to celebrate the marriage today. We got a formal invite (RSVP card and all) like a month ago, so we said yes. My H & I have never been to an event like this (reception after the fact) but H seems to be treating this like its just a low key house party where we just show up whenever. I told him no, the invitation says 4 o'clock and that means we should be there by 4....not 5....4. The fact that I even have to explain simple rules of etiquette to him sometimes is amazing...but then again, I can't be mad really because it's an unusual situation all around.
We actually weren't quite sure what kind of gift you would give for something like this....physical gift? money?
Re: Ever been to a wedding party months after the actual wedding?
By rule of etiquette, they cannot call it a "reception." That implies that the ceremony was the same day --- they can call it a celebration or a party or whatever else, but not a reception. Technically, it isn't a reception.
My friend got an invitation to what Coworker called "a wedding."
Coworker has been married 13 years and they have a couple 3 kids; a tween and 2 younger kiddoes.
Coworker planned a huge do --- big church ceremony with all the bells and whistles that a usual wedding has. The affair afterwards -- that she called a reception -- was at some far away country club about an hour and a half from here.
(The event was about a month ago, on one of the most hellaciously rainy nights in June --- the area where the "reception" is is all country and not all that easy to get to; easy to get lost out there. The interstate is not that well lit in that part of the area, either.)
Coworker even was given a wedding shower.
How the heck do you even give an already wed woman a "wedding shower"??? These people don't have minimum wage jobs -- they are in their 50s and both are making a nice sum of money.
I am thinking that Coworker was never married to her SO and does not want to say, and he "Finally made an honest woman out of her" or this is one of the biggest etiquette breeches in the history of the modern wedding planning world.
The invitation is thinly worded: "Come celebrate with us as we pledge our love." That's a throw away; this could be the vow renewal it really is --- Coworker had a JP perform the ceremony, or so she claims --- or maybe it's really a true wedding.
These too were formal invitations.
Go figure people. I for one wouldn't have attended. Out here it will be at least $100 to attend; that's standard for a wedding gift in NJ.
This is easily a 50K event. They have 3 kids!!! put the money aside for the kiddoes and use it for their benefit. Maybe the kiddoes will wish to attend a very good private or parochial high school; the money is much better invested in that.
Or spend that money on something like a cruise or mini vacation: invite a handful of your nearest and dearest (pay for them) and do a vow renewal on board or at the vacation resort.
Yes, your correct. This sounds like a more formal party. No a "show up whenever". It's a bit odd but not totally unheard of.
I'd give whatever I would normally give at a wedding.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
Yea, the invite doesn't really say 'reception' - just 'celebration of the marriage of'...I only referred to it as a reception because I wasn't sure what else to call it. lol
So crazy though how fast this all happened - we didn't see our friend for a month or so because of the holidays and whatnot - next thing we know, he posts a photo of he and his wife on facebook. We just assumed it was a new girlfriend since some of our non-married friend will refer to a girlfriend as 'wifey' but no, it really is his wife. I hope it works out for him since this is the first of our friends to run off and elope like this. We've met his wife since we found out and she seems nice enough....
anyway, off to the celebration
we had a destination wedding in my hometown and another "reception" at a family member home after the honeymoon for those in town. It was a lot of fun, I wore my wedding dress for a little while, we had cake, food and just really enjoyed seeing those who could not come to our "real" wedding.
Gifts were not expected but we received gifts from all those not at the wedding
One of my cousins got married in a different state than the rest of the family (including her sister & parents) live in. She had a party/reception a few months later in our state so we could celebrate with her. That's the only one I've heard of/been to.
FWIW, we showed up on time.
Not inviting people to a wedding and then throwing a party and expecting gifts seems really tacky to me. It's like they wanted to elope but still want the gifts. Very odd, to me.
Yes, I think you have to show up on time, but I don't know about a gift. I guess you have to, but it just rubs me the wrong way.
I think you are coming across as pretty judgemental in your post, that they ran off, the fact that I have to explain simple rules of etiquette to him sometimes is amazing, etc.
Why wouldn't his parents want to have a celebration of their son's marriage? Does it really matter if they do and it is unusual? Just go, give a small gift ( I agree with a boxed gift like a bottle of wine or something), go on time and have a good time. It doesn't matter if you agree with how he got married or whether you approve of his new wife or not, the fundamental thing is that he is happy and wants to celebrate with you. Just go and have fun.
Chronically hilarious - you'll split your stitches!
I wrote a book! Bucket list CHECK!
http://notesfortheirtherapist.blogspot.co.uk
I have one of these coming up for my H's friend. I admit I find them weird also and I'm not a fan. I think I would feel differently if it were actually a more casual, hey-let's-celebrate fun party vs. a formal affair, but I've only ever had the formal kind.
Anyway, we will show up on time, and I will wear a nice dress, and DH will wear a suit. We will give them the same as for a regular wedding.
I don't think you sounded judgmental, OP.
I have experienced two scenarios where this has happened, and have different feelings about each of them. The first was a friend who eloped with his fiancee when he found out he was being deployed. When he returned from overseas, they hosted a party to allow friends and family to celebrate their marriage since they married so quickly.
Then there was a friend who held a formal wedding and reception where I live, just your normal wedding. And no, I did not receive an invitation to this wedding. They then decided a couple months later they wanted to host another informal party for people they didn't invite to their actual wedding. That seemed extremely odd to me.
I guess, bottom line, if there was a legitimate reason that guests could not come or a traditional wedding was not possible, such as destination wedding, elopement, or a hurried wedding due to circumstance, there's no problem with that. Cash grab second reception? Not so much.
**6.30.12** I have found the one whom my soul loves.