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Need tips on how to be a good housewife...
My marriage happened on Jan of this year, and due to lack of my parental support or guidance (just because of being introverts), I alone had to put all the efforts (organizing the event, the budget plan, the floral works, the guest list, the food list on the party thrown at my parents' place)..Though being a bride I had to put all the efforts and do all the running here and there.. Due to which I couldn't even pamper or care myself, which all the brides in the world used to. Its a shame that I didn't even stepped into a parlour when my wedding approached. But Thankfully, my in-laws were very kindhearted, they did all the required arrangements for the wedding and the event turned out so well..So glad about the wedding,
But now here's the thing, since my wedding I feel so tired and exhausted, and I lost my appetite and body weight. Each and every day I hope it might get better after a sunset. But its pretty much the same. Every day I feel lack of energy, or headache, or dizziness, or something. Initially I thought it would be an outcome of too much of work load on my wedding. Days passed, weeks passed, months passed, the situation is still the same. I couldn't help it. Before marriage, I used to do all the daily chores, look after my stroke affected Dad, do the monthly earnings. But now things have changed, my household works has lowered a lot but along with it my energy too got down. I need some help. Is it due to stress or nervousness or should I need any tips on how to do the daily chores without the slightest mistakes. Advise please.
Thanks,
Tinju
Re: Need tips on how to be a good housewife...
Good lord. Please be MUD.
If not:
1. Exactly who is supposed to do all the work for your super special pretty princess day if not you? It's your party. No one else cares half as much about it as you. If you want it to be a big deal, then you make it a big deal.
2. Not all brides in the world use getting married as an excuse to step into "parlours" and get pampered. Some of us realize a wedding is one day and unimportant in the grand scheme of things. The marriage is what's important.
3. If you're unable to get out of bed and you're unable to eat and maintain your weight, see a doctor. Not a board of internet strangers. However I suspect your problem is actually that you have nothing to make the entire world about you now that the wedding is over so you're manifesting problems in an attempt to refocus attention on yourself.
4. WTF do you mean "do the daily chores with out the slightest mistakes"? Are you scared the dishwasher will come after you if you load it wrong?
So my advice is to get a job, do some housework and call a doctor or a therapist. Or actually call both.
the OP does not mention the word "husband" anywhere at all in that post.
Wonder what's up with that????
Where is he in the midst of all of this?
I am guessing that English is not the OP's first language and there's a problem with communicating on this board.
That said:
Gee, I am all alone and I planned the whole thing by myself. Everything turned out fine.
And this entire wedding thing affected you to such a point you couldn't take care of yourself??? What's up with that?
Lots of women plan the event by themselves. This isn't 1955 anymore.
I even know of a guy who planned the entire wedding since his fiancee refused to do so and everything turned out fine.
A wedding is for one day -- a marriage is for a lifetime --- that you are having problems adjusting and that you're having physical and emotional problems merits a trip to the doc.
Something else is going on here. You shouldn't be having problems that affect your emotional and physical well being.
See a doc; let him or her know how you're feeling.
I also wonder what KIND of a guy you married --- doing the housework and everything else that is attached to your home should not solely be up to you.
What happened to your H? Did his arms drop off as soon as he said "I do"? He should be helping out and doing half of everything: marriage is a partnership.
I also get the ugly feeling that somehow he is on your case when things are not to his liking --- am I right or wrong?
And yes, by the way....
Where IS he????
You mention nothing about him. He sounds like a real prize if all of this is happening to you.
You sound depressed and like there may potentially be other medical things at play. Go see a doctor and get checked out, while there also ask for a referral to a therapist.
I think you need to find something in your life that's for you, not for other people. I'd be depressed if all I did and all that was expected of me was to clean a house every day. Get a job, find a hobby, do something.
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You have a skewed idea of who is responsible for planning your wedding. Everything you did you should have done. Now that that's out of the way...
You sound like your depressed. Get yourself into counseling and consider taking anti-depressants.
Actually, Jemma, she needs to go cold turkey from a 200 pound depressant....
Her H.
How much you want to bet HE is the cause of the root of her problem?
....still waiting to see where he factors into this picture. Seems like he's nowhere in sight and she is stuck holding the whole bag.
Hey Tinju,
You know what lovely lady...we all go through challenges in the beginning of our marriages, in fact challenges throughout:) What you are going through is unique to your marriage, and you need to grow into the solution (it takes time precious one).
I also had a huge wedding on my shoulders and really wanted to scream at every turn, but just like you, when the day arrived, it was amazing and everyone was so blown away and touched by our wedding. It all worked out.
As for being a housewife, this will be determined by you and your hubby, what your roles are (don't put too much pressure on getting it right immediately). Give him space and time and do the same for your self. You've only been a wife for a few months. So chat to your hubby and decide how you two would like to operate this wonderful household. If you have already done this, then give your self time to set into a fun and personalized routine of getting your house the way you want it.
I used to clean every Wed and Saturday, and did most of the housework, my husband and I had what we call a 'system'. No one else can tell you what system to create, they don't know your challenges, schedules, culture, etc. You have to find what helps you and your husband operate your best and then give your self time to grow into it:)
As for the exhaustion, do go to the doctor, and also take a look at your lifestyle. I find that if my heart and soul are healthy, my life is healthy.
Hope that was helpful! Enjoy your week and may you and your hubby have the best marriage you could have ever hoped for.
Ida