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I'm the only one who maybe getting older.
My boyfriend and I have been together right around 4 years. We took a big step and moved in together about 2 years ago. At first it was very blissful with promises of "I'll take care of us while you finish school", but as of today He's laid off, I am working two jobs, going to school and his unemployed brother just moved with us. I am having a very, very big issue with the fact that I work 70 hours a week but still have to come home to two guys that probably haven't even moved from the position they are in on the couch, an over grown yard, a sink full of dishes etc etc. I try to keep my cool and tell myself that in due time everything will fall into place, but at some point i realize I'm not getting any younger and if I want a family before I have a mid life crisis then something has to give. I've tried to have this conversation about the lack personal time, affection, and help around the house, but it always turns into a knock down, drag out, I'm just looking for something to be unhappy with kind of fight.
Is this worth another four years? Am I expecting to much out of him?
Re: I'm the only one who maybe getting older.
This. He does not seem to be putting any effort into your relationship, and for that reason alone, it needs to end.
If this is how your BF is -- this is also a look into your future with him ---- I suggest you cut bait and tell him adieu and to take his brother with him. Looks like monkey see monkey do and they are both undependable. You can't live like this and you cannot pull 2 people who cannot pull their weight.
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My boyfriend and I have been together right around 4 years. We took a big step and moved in together about 2 years ago. At first it was very blissful with promises of "I'll take care of us while you finish school", but as of today He's laid off,
Gee, isn't this just tough teats for him.
Funny how he never exhibited this kind of behavior until now --- consider this only 4 years out of your life that's missing. Say goodbye to him tomorrow.
I am working two jobs, going to school and his unemployed brother just moved with us.
And who decided that his brother joins the party?
Your BF???
Looks like you didn't discuss this with him and he did not jointly decide NO with you.
That you let him decide this shows me you need to learn how to stand up for yourself. You don't know how to do it.
I am having a very, very big issue with the fact that I work 70 hours a week but still have to come home to two guys that probably haven't even moved from the position they are in on the couch, an over grown yard, a sink full of dishes etc etc.
So you tolerate this behiavior and you permit slobbery and being used as a doormat?
WHY???
I try to keep my cool and tell myself that in due time everything will fall into place,
Not going to happen. Sorry.
but at some point i realize I'm not getting any younger and if I want a family before I have a mid life crisis then something has to give.
So you think this jerk is your final stop and if not him, it's nobody?
Don't be a desparado.
I've tried to have this conversation about the lack personal time, affection, and help around the house, but it always turns into a knock down, drag out, I'm just looking for something to be unhappy with kind of fight.
And he gives you sh!t about it.
Get rid of him pronto.
No he's not.
I don't know if his brother is influencing him, he's depressed, or he is lazy in luxury-but you are not a single mother.
If he is depressed I would encourage him to seek treatment. But you do not have to stay with him.
I had a similar issue. The short story: I was working night shift and going to school full time to finish my undergrad. I was struggling with the bills and my BF at the time worked and spent his whole paycheck (doing I have no idea what) within a few days.Once I graduated I got a full time job making a nice salary which took me to a whole new level and much more financial security. Well I came home from a business trip to find out that not only was I the sole provider and taking care of the townhouse, bills etc, but HE was cheating on me. Underwear in my bed...but he tried to denied it. Well I showed him. I moved EVERYTHING out, since I bought it all, took my name off the lease and said SEE YA! I never looked back and never regretted leaving him.
Sometimes you just need to see them for what they are. You will be better off without him.
We only have this one life here on earth. Why not live it brilliantly! Your life is too precious to waste any moment of it. Do what you need to do to be your best you. Enjoy you life lovely lady.
Ida Mhunduru
'One challenging step at a time, one joyous moment at a time, and we'll get there, older, more grey, triumphant!'
thejoyofbecoming1.wordpress.com (Visit my blog)
The PP's laid out all the good points. All I have to say: RUN.