Inlaw Vent

This will accomplish nothing except that I can out it out to the universe and hopefully stop dwelling on it. 

John was raised by his father and step-mom starting at age 3. They both love him so much and have embraced me with open arms. I've never met his birth mom and he has no relationship with his birth mother, but is close with her parents.

 John and I were similar as children, both hyperactive, could usually be found up a tree or hunting minnows in a creek. Both of our report cards usually said "not working up to his/her potential", scored really high on standardized tests but never did homework. Both of our parents took a, shall we say, hands off approach. When we became too much to handle they just didn't. My parents would yell and punish, but there was no follow through. John's parents would fuss and punish, but a lot of times just ignored the behavior figuring it would go away.

 Just like most people we know, we have issues with our parents. The funny is that they think they did such a great job. I don't attribute our successes to them but to other adults that stepped in and up for us. We can't tell them this though, I think it might destroy our relationship. 

The thing that is weighing so heavily on me right now is the dismissive attitude John's parents have with us regarding our son. Last week they had Brooks for one night while I was in the hospital, we  facetimed with him that night and he was so upset missing us. John's dad said, he's fine, he was playing 5 minutes ago, etc. instead of snuggling our almost 3 year old he took him downstairs for stories. Now tht part is good, but it was already his bed time and they read 4 stories. So he didn't go to sleep for another hour. 

Saturday Brooks gave his pacifiers to another baby and we tried the cold turkey method. As of yesterday he hadn't slept well for 3 days, naps or bedtimes. He was enrolled in dance camp for two hours 3 days this week and was the youngest in the class. Well it failed miserably and my kid got kicked out of dance camp. I was main this to John's mother. And she made some horrible comments about John as a child, she's so condescending when she says Brooksnis high energy and active, as though they are bad things. He's just different than our niece, whom he's always being compared with. Then I get an email from John's dad saying ballet isn't Brooks' thing, maybe soccer will be, etc. I wrote back my explanation but started with "there must have been a miscommunication, as I told Sue....". They always hear what tey want or manipulate things to be part of their expectations.

They want to spend time with Brooks but he's told me he doesn't want to go back. I'm sure that will change. But we still have family vacation this August. I week I dread and loathe. I don't understand why we have to stay when we live so close. But John really wants to go and Brooks is looking forward to it too. So I shall complain to the universe for the very last time. Until its all over an then I'm sure I'll have some new baggage.