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Going back home in December

Hi everyone, i could use some advice, In December, my husband and i are flying to New Brunswick to visit all of my dads family  (13 siblings + all their kids etc) but mainly we are visiting to see my grandmother, she is a hell of a woman. she raised all those kids into incredible people... but my concern is her husband, my Papa, from my childhood, all i know are terrible things about how this man treated his kids and how scarred they all are because of it, and in 2005 had an affair with a younger woman after being married 55 years...my grandmother being true to her wedding vows, took him back and he lives with her still.. i have not seen my grandfather since i was little, But i'm really not sure how to go about seeing him, I know i will bite my tongue until it bleeds, out of respect for my grandmother and the fact my father wouldn't want me to sink to this man's level..I guess i could ignore him and just be there for everyone and my grandmother.. Advice anyone? 

Re: Going back home in December

  • Don't bite your tongue, and worry less about what your grandmother and father would want.  Do what feels natural to you.  You are, after all, who they raised you to be.
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  • That is true. I just really do not see myself getting along with him around. But it was how i was raised, i never knew a good word about him. 
  • What's your goal? To make your grandmother feel like a schmuck for making an extremelly hard decision? It's none of your business what goes on in someone else's marriage. And go ahead and think your plan all the way through. You go out there for a week, stir up a bunch a trouble - then pack your bags and go back to your cozy life? How is that doing grandma any favors? Mind your manners, speak when spoken to and if he is offensive address it that moment. Unless your family raised you to be an immature judgmental mean person I have no idea why you wouldn't bite your tongue. Lightning

  • This is great advice. 

  • Thanks, this was the kick in the i needed. 
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