Military Nesties
Dear Community,

Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.

If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.

Thank you.

Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.

BAH question

Hi folks! I'm wondering if anyone can give me their opinion here (or if they are aware of actual policy)??

My husband and I recently bought a house, and he is currently deployed. We are about to make our first mortgage payment next month. We were discussing how to split up finances. The BAH he receives is more than enough to cover the mortgage, escrow, homeowners insurance, gas/electric bill, and water bill (all things house-related). However, he says that he should only have to pay for half of all of that, and I should pay the other half. I fully realize that most of the BAH is his, because I'm not the one in the military. But I guess my thought is...isn't that what the BAH is for? To pay for house-related things?

 Again, any opinions or if anyone knows of actual policies...much appreciated!

Re: BAH question

  • The whole point of the BAH is to pay for his housing.  PERIOD.

    What happens when you all PSC and you don't find a job?  Will you still be expected to pay for the roof over your head when there is a special pay specificially designed to PAY FOR said roof? 

    Not to mention, is he going ot take into account the fact that his BAH is higher BECAUSE he is married to you?  The difference between BAH with dependents and without dependents is not a small sum. 

    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • If he was unmarried, he wouldn't be getting a penny of BAH while deployed.  That money is purely to keep up your household expenses.

    image

    Anniversary

  • imagecalindi:
    If he was unmarried, he wouldn't be getting a penny of BAH while deployed.  That money is purely to keep up your household expenses.

    That's not always true. It's possible to rate full or partial BAH, while deployed, under certain circumstances.

    However, BAH us not extra pay. It is designed to pay for a roof over the family's head. The only scenario I can fathom you paying half of the mortgage is if you make significantly more than his pay + allowances. Well, and if you have separate finances. If you haven't already, I suggest you both read Smart Couples Finish Rich by David Bach. He is NOT a Dave Ramsey type, just FTR. He's a common financial goals with your spouse even with separate finances type. 

    I've seen a lot of military surprise homecomings. It wouldn't work on me. I always have my back to the corner and my face to the door. Looking for terrorists, criminals, various other threats, and husbands.
  • imagecalindi:
    If he was unmarried, he wouldn't be getting a penny of BAH while deployed.  That money is purely to keep up your household expenses.
     

    This is not completely true.  My husband lived off post before we were married.  He still received BAH to pay for his apartment while deployed.   

    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • imageiluvmytxrgr:

    imagecalindi:
    If he was unmarried, he wouldn't be getting a penny of BAH while deployed.  That money is purely to keep up your household expenses.
     

    This is not completely true.  My husband lived off post before we were married.  He still received BAH to pay for his apartment while deployed.   

    This is true for my husband as well.
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • Hey, Sammy.  I agree with everyone else too.  That BAH is there to support the soldier and his/her family.  In my opinion, your man should want to know you are ok and taken care of.  That's one less thing for him to worry about while being deployed.  My husband and I split all the other bills, but BAH always goes to the mortgage.
  • imageSammy0709:
    imageiluvmytxrgr:

    imagecalindi:
    If he was unmarried, he wouldn't be getting a penny of BAH while deployed.  That money is purely to keep up your household expenses.
     

    This is not completely true.  My husband lived off post before we were married.  He still received BAH to pay for his apartment while deployed.   

    This is true for my husband as well.

    Yes he may have received BAH before you were married however he receives a dependent rate (read more $) now that he has dependents.

    The way we have worked our mortgage is we have an allotment for the total amount of his BAH. There is an amount left over after the mortgage is paid, but we use that for any home emergencies.

    BFP #1 11/07/2012 EDD 07/09/2013 M/C 11/22/2012

    BFP #2 02/05/2013 EDD 09/19/2013

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers

  • While your husband is on deployment he should not have to pay for anything related to housing costs.  His food should all be provided as well as housing and anything else he should need for the most part.  So he shouldn't have a reason for needing that money.  

     Do the two of you split and share all of the other bills?  If not why this one?  If so, then you need to discuss all of the bills from top to bottom.  My husband and I dealt with this a little too because he was on deployment recently, but that is what BAH is for.  If he feels slighted see if he can pay the mortgage and you pay things like electric, water, cable any of the things that you will physically be using.  That's what we did.  

    Also you need to take into consideration how much money you will be bringing in, how much you can put towards the house, and how much you will need to spend on things like food, gas, entertainment etc. You should sit down and do a total budget.  Don't forget that he is getting his regular wage on top of the BAH for anything he might want to spend it on while on deployment...

     Good luck!! 

     

  • First of all, you're married. Period.  His BAH should cover the housing expenses. Your money can go to other bills afterwords.  Or since his BAH covers everything it seems?your money can go to savings strictly to save for your future or to put additional monies to principle if y'all prefer.  I understand some couples like to keep accounts separated, but its important to have joint accounts too.  Your husband is military as is mine and what if one day he decides to get out and it's hard for him to get a job right away or he gets injured and is medically discharged and its hard for y'all to make ends meet, if all that money you earned was in savings, you have your back-up so that you don't have to depend on family or be out in the street.  Long story short your married what is his- is yours and vice versa. It's really all the same money at this point!!
  • I guess I'm the odd one out on this, but I think it's completely fair of him to ask for you to pay half.  It's his money and just because you're married to him does not make you entitled to it.  Yes, BAH is for housing and all that, but how is it fair for you to expect him to pay for everything while he isn't even there?  Why should he pay for electric/gas/water etc when he's not the one using it?  I can see him helping with the mortgage and insurance (since the house is both of yours), but not absolutely everything.

     My husband and I are currently stationed in different countries and will be separated for the next two years.  I don't expect him to cover my utilities or the things I use just for myself (my car payments, etc) nor do I cover his.  However, we do split the bills that we both use like cell phone bill, car/pet insurance and any vet bills or other obscure bills we might have.  We both are saving money on our own accounts and neither one of us feels like we're being sucked dry of our money by the other.  

     You're a couple.  Couples share things.  It sounds like you are completely capable of working and making money to help support the two of you as well, so it's fair of him to ask you to cover your part too.  If you're currently in between jobs or something like that, there are all sorts of programs all the branches have that help spouses find jobs in the area or to help make a financial plan for such occasions like deployments too.  The Navy, for example, has Fleet and Family Services who help with all sorts of things like that.

     Maybe talking with your husband about his reasons as to why he wants to split it might be a good idea when you get the chance.  He might want to keep track of savings on his own account with the money that he is earning or maybe he feels like he's stuck paying for everything all the time or something like that.  He might have good intentions that you don't know about yet.

Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards