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High School Reunion
I've been a reader here on and off for a long time but rarely post.
Anyway, my husband is 37 and I'm 29. We've been married for a little over 2 years and together for over 7. This past Saturday was his twenty year high school reunion. He is from a really small town that is almost 7 hours from where we currently live. So at the reunion, I go to the bar and I was asked for ID. A lot of attention was drawn because I had to get my license from my husband. (Skirt = no pockets so he had my stuff) I felt embarrassed more for my husband than anything because it is his reunion. So anyway, moving forward he is talking to people and catching up. I tried to entertain myself and let him do his thing. I noticed people kept looking at me but tried to brush it off as I was being paranoid/self-conscious because I didn't know anyone. But then... Numerous people walked up to me and flat out, no small talk or hinting at it, said "So, how old are you?" I answered and they would say, "Oh!" with a look or "So Brandon did go much younger!" and then immediately walk away. I quickly became uncomfortable and spent the rest of the night with by husband's best friend's wife sitting outside.
It's Monday. We are back home, and I will probably never see these people again. Yet it is still really bothering me that people were so rude and obsessed with my age. I want to not care but I can't stop thinking about it and feeling bad. Am I over-reacting or were these people incredibly rude?
Re: High School Reunion
I think you're overreacting. If you are still getting carded, especially if the bar isn't one of those who routinely cards everybody, you obviously look quite young. (Which is a good thing as you get older!) They were probably curious if you were newly 21, which you must admit would be quite an age gap.
I do agree that what they said afterwards was a bit rude, but you shouldn't let it get to you. They aren't friends, just rude people at a reunion. And who knows what their situation is? Maybe they were jealous. You and your DH love each other and are happy, that is all that matters.
I am giving a hard side-eye to this appalling bit of misogyny.
So you look younger than you are, to the point that they were wondering if your husband were kind of predatory. Maybe it was impolite, but if he's almost forty and you look like you may not be old enough to drink, it was a fair thing to wonder. Let it go.
This is no big deal. If you ever attend a reunion of his again, make small talk at the bar with....other spouses who don't know anybody there.:)
Reunions are slowly becoming obsolete, thanks to social media and the internet.
I think it's a really small town problem. My SIL is from a teeny tiny town, and she's bat s#it crazy when it comes to gossiping & assuming things about anybody who has ever lived in that town. I've never know anybody else who can leap to such strange conclusions from insignificant actions. And for some reason, she feels like she's entitled to know all the details about anything going on with other people in the town.
Small town problem. I recommend not going back there.
I'll say this, though - the fact that you were embarrassed that your DH had your ID...??? Women do this all the time. Whether w/ their ID, lipstick, or... what have you. You are FAR from the first woman out there to have their DH hold something for them when they have no pockets. Or on the flip - I've carried DHs glasses and/or keys in my purse when HE didnt have pockets. It's what couples do. And for the fact that you were embarrassed by it - kind of makes me wonder if you're overly sensitive to the age difference or appearance of age difference (if you really look "that young").
Doesn't excuse the people who came up to you and asked your age, or made a big deal about it (and really- for the record, 29 to 37 isn't all THAT huge of a leap). But I also suspect you're possibly a bit sensitive too.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
Thanks everyone. I know it doesn't matter and I won't see these people again so I should just get over it. And I will but it just upset me more than maybe it should have. But it really did help posting and having people respond. And maybe I am sensitive to the age thing... I never thought I was but at the same time it's never been a problem before.
BeckyOff: Yeah, I think you are definitely right about the small town thing. Most of the other spouses were from that area. Even the ones that weren't in the same grade were a few years older or younger so still knew a lot of people. One guy did interrogate me with a ton of questions not just about my age.
EastCoastBride: I didn't really mean I was embarrassed that we was holding my ID. I was embarrassed because I was getting ID'd and had to interrupt his conversation with old classmates to get my ID thus bringing more attention to the fact that his wife was getting ID'd at his 20 year reunion.
Zitiqueen: I didn't insist on going. The whole thing was completely up to him, and I told thim that. And I knew I wasn't going to know anyone but I also didn't expect people to be so rude and childish. Since it was 7 hours away, we made a weekend out of it and visited his mom and 89-year-old grandma.