Family Matters
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
MIL :/
My dh and I just got married in June and we recently got the digital prints back from the photographer. Now the photographer is a friend of ours so he gave us all the pictures he took on a cd and we own the rights to them. I had several of them printed out (just 4x6s) through an online printing company so I could make a wedding album. I showed the prints to my family and dh showed them to his. He comes back saying that my MIL wants a copy of the cd so she can print her own pictures. I was taken aback by that. See I was planning on making a collage for both families of pictures from throughout the wedding. Now I'm at a loss as to what to do. Do I give her a cd or make her the collage? Am I also making a big deal out of nothing? I can't really compare the families cause they are quite different but my side is perfectly happy with just getting a collage. I thought the wedding planning was stressful but the newlywed phase is a whole different ball game!
Re: MIL :/
I have to disagree. Weddings are not family reunions. If she wants a family portrait then she can hire a photographer. Alternatively, it would be polite if the MIL wanted to specifically ask for a photo if it is not included in the collage, but she should not feel entitled to get the entire CD.
I would recommend giving her the cd, or uploading all the pictures to an image sharing website. No need to horde the pictures? Uploading the pictures/creating a cd gives her access to all the photos you feel comfortable with being public.
If it will be a digital collage give her the collage, too.
I don't understand the big deal, honestly. I uploaded all of the pictures we liked to a Shutterfly website and shared them with everyone who came to the wedding. Both sets of ILs printed their own portraits, and my mom made, like, 10 photobooks.
I'm kind of on the same side with you on this one. Reason being, if she is anything like my MIL, who keeps asking me for the cds from my wedding, she will want it so she can print out 50 million copies of the photos to distribute it to everyone in the church and god knows who else. Mind you, she had 2 people - TWO - with cameras running around, on top of the photographer that I booked and paid for, taking photos at the wedding so my MIL has a million photos already and I know that all of those photos have been copied and given out to many people. My wedding photos are for my H & I and yes, our parents too but not for my MIL to give out to everyone like some social hour. and ps - my H & I made albums for each of our families, so she has photos that our photographer took too. Every time she asks me to bring the cd, I tell her that I don't know where they are. We bought a house last year, so they are tucked away in a box somewhere, and I really don't know where they are
Anyway, every family is different - as well as everyone's own comfort level. I'm not sure if this is one of those 'hill to die on' situations, but that would really depend on the people involved and I would be hesitant in giving cds of such a personal moment in my life like that. The collage idea is a good one though or maybe if she wants an album, sit down with her and have her choose the photos that she wants to go in it.
You're borrowing trouble. I really can't understand why this an issue. Give her a copy of the cd and still make the collage. And going forward pick your battles.
Thanks for the responses. I just wanted to know if this was a normal request or not. I do like the idea of making an edited cd that has only pictures that I feel comfortable with people having or passing out to others. I'm not trying to hoard the pictures in any way, just wasn't sure of the "etiquette" in this case. My MIL and I don't see eye to eye on several things but we do get along pretty well. We're are still working on the whole MIL/DIL relationship since she is used to only having her 2 boys and now she has a daughter as well.
And for this being a whole new ball game, that was obviously a joke that may not have come across as one. We've been together/known each other for over 10 years. We've been through many things together whether family issues or just every day things. We knew what we were getting into when we got married and we are definitely ready for this next stage in our lives. I again thank all of you for your advice
I would give her a copy. But if you're not sure about her and her motivations yet, only copy the GOOD pictures onto disk. You sure don't want her blowing up photos of you at your worst angle and framing them so you have to see groaner pictures every time you're at her house.
Granted, she might be a nice, normal woman who isn't a jerk, but if you don't know her well enough to know her intentions, better be safe than sorry.
Give her a copy of the best shots on CD with a smile and give her the collage later. I don't think she's being unreasonable unless she is one of THOSE mother-in-laws. From what you've described, she sounds pretty normal so far?