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Secured CC Drama
Hi there, this may be a bit long winded.
My husband had just recently been approved for a small secured credit card. He is currently reestablishing credit after filing bankruptcy a year ago. Prior to the bankruptcy he never missed a payment and had a score of 780. After a discussion I asked if I should consider getting a secured CC as well considering my credit isn't all too great due to bad choices in my earlier years. I was approved instantly 
I sent the e mail confirmation to my husband. He was pissed 
I'm now being told that I need to cancel my secured CC line because he doesn't want $900 tied up in our savings due to him having two secured lines of credit and I have one. He is clearly annoyed across the board and has told me that he has to have two credit lines established to be approved for a VA home loan.
I'm annoyed. What about my credit? He does not care and has made it clear that my credit is insignificant to our finances and I feel that it is important for me to have just as good credit as him.
Am I overreacting?
Re: Secured CC Drama
Personally, I do not think you're overreacting! You have a right to build up your own credit, and you SHOULD build your own credit. His position that your credit isn't relevant to your finances is frankly chauvinistic and extremely outdated. To me, this is just as bad as him saying you shouldn't vote because his vote should count for the both of you.
You having good credit can only help you. It will help you get apartment leases, mortgages, car loans - whatever you need. Relying on only one person's credit in a marriage is not a good idea. Even if he builds his credit back up and never misses a payment again, things can still happen to mess it up - like identity theft. Or, what if, god forbid, one of you has a medical problem and gets underwater with unexpected medical bills? In either of these cases, his credit would be impacted through no fault of his own. What would you do without a backup, a second person with good credit to secure anything you need during that period?
Also, don't forget that many employers run credit checks when you're applying for a job. Does he want to hamper your ability to find employment?
There was once a time when married women weren't allowed to have credit in their own name; they lost their own credit upon their marriage, and their husband's credit was all that mattered. That time was the 1950s! I think it's time for your husband to get with the times.
I think your husband's attitude may reflect a bit of insecurity. Maybe he feels insecure about his financial situation, and is somehow afraid you will show him up by building your credit faster, making him feel like less of a provider. Whatever his hangups may be - they're just that - hangups. You are completely justified in wanting to improve your own credit, and you should fight for your right to do so - a right that women haven't always had in this country, and a right that our mothers won for us through the struggles of the feminist movement.
Instead of being hurt that he's not thinking about your credit, think about what's good for your financial future together, as a whole. Is it better for you both that he rebuild his dismal credit so that he can be approved for a home loan, or is it better for you both that he be denied the home loan so you can build your mediocre credit? If the answer is truly the latter, then have a discussion with him about how you can both move forward financially.
But yes, I think you're overreacting, because this isn't about you, it's about you both as a team.
Hmm, I really don't understand how his ability to qualify for a home loan would be impacted by her trying to rebuild her credit. Can you explain that? The way I see it, if he's trying to qualify for a loan on his own credit, the credit inquiry for the secured card would only show up on her own credit file - not his. Married people do not have a combined credit profile.
And if we're talking about teamwork, it seems to me that the best way to function as a team is for both of them have good credit - then they can apply for a home loan together on their combined credit history, and maybe get a better deal. She has never declared bankruptcy, unlike him, so perhaps their two credit profiles combined may paint a better picture to lenders than his alone, even if he fixes his credit.
It was the OP's suggestion that her secured credit card would harm his ability to secure a loan, not mine. I would assume that if the credit line on her secured card comes from their joint checking or savings, then it means he cannot use it for a secured card for himself.
Maybe they can get a better deal on combined credit, I was not suggesting otherwise. I was suggesting that they work as a team, however, and stop thinking about themselves individually.
In my opinion, this is an extremely petty thing for either of them to be upset over, and that includes the husband, too. I don't comprehend why they aren't working together. To me, that is the whole point of marriage.
I think the principle is a pretty major issue. She gets a secured card and ties up a good chunk of money without telling him? (or did he agree it was a good idea then change his mind?) He demands she close it? Major communication issues that are only going to get worse.
Can he get a home loan without her income? If she's on the loan as well, banks use the lowest credit score, so she needs to fix hers as well.
Sit down and have a discussion on long term financial goals. It will be hard to set a timeline, but at least figure out your priorities. And regroup to discuss finances often. Things change, so your financial plans cannot be static as well.
Have you seen my monkey?
I think he is being pouty and immature, and perhaps it bothers him that your credit is or will be better than his. He seems to be downplaying the importance of your income and credit to your family's finances. It comes off as very old fashioned and sexist to me personally.
And if he thinks $900 is too much to be tied up in savings, I would reconsider purchasing a home right now. Nothing makes you hemorage money faster than homeownership (except maybe having kids). Buying a home is expensive, maintaining a home is expensive, upgrading a home is expensive. All these things will cost a tremendous amount of money. $900 is a drop in the bucket compared to the costs of homeownership.
His behavior is all the more reason you need to build your credit. Every woman needs to have the credit and financial resources to be able to stand on her own two feet should the need or desire arise.
In addition to the issue of your husband, ---- If you cannot set aside 900 total for 3 secured credit cards, you are not financially ready for home ownership.
Make sure you do not use more than 15% of your allowable limits and of course ALWAYS pay the balance IN FULL each month. You DO NOT have to carry a balance to build credit, you have to be responsible users of credit (use little and pay on time).
Bolded. Exactly.
Well thanks for the feed back, I agree somewhat on all input.
First off, I have $300 tied up in a secured CC, he has the same and plans to open an additional secured CC for another 300 (it's the minimum) coming up to $900. So no, I didn't tie up a "huge amount" of money - There is more than enough in savings for mishaps such as an unexpected event in any matter on top of the amount reserved on secured credit. ** I do need to remind my husband that it was unnecessary to carry a balance in order to establish credit.
Second, we still have bugs and kinks in the communication department due to some unexpected curve balls. That's why we're taking it to the Pastor and putting it in God's hands and working on it as one.
Third, per request of my husband and due to an obvious misunderstanding, I will close it out in the morning. It's not like I'm going any where and he surely isn't getting too far from me either.
We would love to purchase a house sooner than later but until his VA stuff and everything else gets where it needs to be, until we graduate with our degrees, and establish our post military careers it will be a bit until we get settled.
Thanks again
Appreciate it.