Relationships
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
DH just told me he has stage 4 kidney disease
He has known for a month and did not tell me until tonight. He is strongly considering refusing dialysis and any further treatment when it comes to that because he is rapidly losing his quality of life and it will never get better. He says he is not depressed and is at peace about it. Unfortunately I kind of have to agree that treating it may not be worthwhile and would likely just prolong his suffering. I am really trying to be OK with this for his sake, but honestly I am just feeling so broken right now. I don't even know how to begin to process this.
Re: DH just told me he has stage 4 kidney disease
I think you need to go to the doctor with him. Kidney disease is NOT a death sentence. But his mental attitude isn't healthy either.
Research, talk to his doctor, get a 2nd opinion. This isn't something to give up over so quickly.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
Knowing everything you can about the disease means everything -- go to the web, speak to his physician, support groups for the chronically ill will help, too.
I am sure there is a kidney foundation, try them also for information and support.
Is there any way he can be put on a list to receive a kiidney? is he a good candidate for a donation?
If you are spiritual, speak to your clergyperson.
Social workers are a great source of help, also --- your town probably employs one; if not there, try your nearest hospital. THere's usually one on staff.
Talking all you can to your H helps, too: you have each other --- and I agree with the PP; your H's outlook and mindset is not a normal one.
Wishing you luck. Check in with us often and let us know how the both of you are doing.
He battles severe infections nearly constantly which cause him severe pain and rob him of his mobility. He has almost no vision left. He has erectile dysfunction that cannot be treated.
Even if he is able to get on the transplant list (they won't put him on it unless he is free from infection) the odds of him getting a live donor are slim to none unless he hires a PI to find his mother who abandoned him as an infant and even then she'd have to be a match. The prognosis for those who get cadaver donors is not exactly encouraging.
At first I was angry. But then I really started looking at the options and what they involve and what his quality of life will realistically be like. He said he doesn't view it as giving up. He views it as taking control of what is left of his life.
Have you guys looked into getting him a service dog or a seeing eye dog?
A service dog would be fantastic for him --- there are many groups that sponsor them; Seeing Eye will train your H with a matched dog; he'd stay at the Seeing Eye facility for a month for training and all expenses related to a dog for special needs people are tax deductible.
A service dog would also lift his spirits immeasurably.
Other things I can think of
Acupuncture --- it could help your H. A guy I know has a chronic disease (Crohn's) and he has gone to an acupuncturist for quite some time. He has not had a flare up in many months.
Yoga --- or acupressure --- if not the yoga if he's not physically able (they might have it for physically challenged people) what about accupressure?
There's also eating healthier and there's also meditation.
Maybe some of these will help your H.
OMG, absolutely this!!!!
There are stages to acceptance of things, I went through a phase of depression and hopelessness when I was diagnosed with my disease and now things have completely turned around! Get him to talk to someone about his experience with it - like a counselor or someone.
Chronically hilarious - you'll split your stitches!
I wrote a book! Bucket list CHECK!
http://notesfortheirtherapist.blogspot.co.uk