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Baby Shower question
My sister is throwing my shower with the help of mine and DH's moms. She asked me to put together a guest list, and when mentioning it to my MIL she told me I need to invite all the ladies at our church back home. My FIL is a pastor of a fairly small country church, but MIL really knows most of these ladies way more than I do. They all know who we are, have seen us often, but don't interact with us much. Would it be good or bad to invite them all? I feel really gift grabby doing that, but MIL is like "You HAVE to invite them" I am trying to help my sis, who lives in another state from our home, while I'm in another state from our hometown with MIL telling us all this. My mom is helping a little, but kind of wanted to let my sister plan it because she was really excited to do so, but MIL really wants to help.. I really don't care other than not being greedy, (my sis doesn't exactly love my MIL) but my sister doesn't really want all this "help" I have a lot of friends from my old job and that I grew up with that I want to invite and at this rate the shower is going to be HUGE!
Help...
Sorry for the word wall..
Re: Baby Shower question
Is the shower in the same town where the church ladies are? If not, it is bad form and rude to invite them and will absolutely be seen as a gift grab (i.e. there is no way they will actually come to the shower but will feel an obligation to send gifts.
Maybe you can tell your MIL your concern and tell her, you would be happy to set up a small baby shower at the church for her friends if she would like to host something.
PS - I learned the hard way - If you ask someone a question or input, be prepared that they may respond in a way you don't like. Then it puts you in the bad position of rejecting it. Next time, I will not ask.
Yes, we are having the shower in our home town, since we just moved and dont know a lot of people here. We actually will most likely be having the shower at our church. I didn't really ask MIL for input, she called me to ask if anyone was doing my shower and I said yeah, my sister. She then started saying "oh, I'll help with this and that" and told me all these people to invite. I don't mind so much as I dont want to seem greedy and as I've said, my sister doesn't really love my MIL.
"Do the best you can, until you know better. Then when you know better, do better."
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For me, I feel baby showers are a little more intimate than bridal showers. I didn't even include all of our aunts and cousins for our baby shower. I just included the aunts and cousins that I am closer with and would feel comfortable with them being there and then just a few of my close friends. It will be a very small shower but that is what I wanted. I guess you have to really think about what you want and go from there.
I personally feel that inviting people who have no direct relationship with the mom-to-be or dad-to-be seems gift grabby.
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