Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Opinions on Non-Verbal Communication
This is my first post on here, so if it's the wrong category I'm super sorry. Okay, my FH and I have been together for a year, but I know he's the one and we're really trying to prepare ourselves for or marriage, which we're getting married next July. My FH and I sometimes have problems communicating, so we created this non-verbal way to communicate things. For instance, he has a problem with interrupting me when I'm talking sometimes (okay, a lot, but he's getting better because of this!) So when we're in a serious conversation, we just raise our hand to show the other person we want to interrupt and let them finish their sentence. My FH also talks REALLY LOUDLY sometimes, so we use a discreet one finger for him to lower his voice (which he can use this with me too, but it hasn't yet.) We also have signs for "stop playing around I'm trying to talk seriously to you" since sometimes we don't always recognize how serious the other is being. We also have a sign for "change the subject" (That ones for when we're in the company of family/friends and FH/I accidentally says something that's supposed to be between us.) We have a few other signs, but the one we use the most is really raising our hand or five fingers to interrupt each other. It's definitely helped us fight fair because it forces us to listen to each other, and recognize the other's input.
We have the best communication skills that I've experienced in a relationship (previous relationship was 3.5 years) but I'm always looking for ways to help us be open. FH and I generally are very good with communicating, but when it comes to being around friends and family we tend to get in more spats because of things like not being able to communicate things like drop it. We really enjoy having this unique way of telling each other things as well as making it less obvious to people if we're unhappy with the other in public, but also allows us to make sure the matter doesn't get worse.
FH and I also will text each other when I'm angry and literally don't want to "talk" to him. He knows that as a writer, I am more likely to respond to text and it's helped us get to an okay point to verbally discuss and resolve issues.
We do talk out our problems verbally, and that's not usually a problem. But sometimes I have a hard time being open because of things in my past. FH understands this so sometimes I will send him e-mails if something is bothering me, and then we can talk about it verbally, it's just that initial divulge is always hard.
Is this bad that FH and I don't always communicate verbally? Or is it bad that it might seem like I've trained him with the hand signs?
Re: Opinions on Non-Verbal Communication
Actually, my therapist suggested nonverbal signs as a way to communicate with my husband when things like what you said are needed! You're using a tried and true technique.