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When kids have questions about divorce
My son is 8. He was 4 when I left his dad. For a long time, he kept insisting that his dad still loved me (that's what his dad told him). In reality, his dad never loved me and slept around for our entire relationship. He was even in an affair when he said his wedding vows to me. He was/is a VERY sick man. He's clinically narcissistic and was sexually, mentally and emotionally abusive.
I haven't told my son why I left his father.
But, my son has picked up on tension between me and my current husband. Last night, he asked me if my H and I are going to divorce. I said no (because at this moment, we aren't). He asked me why not. I told him that I made vows and promises and that means that I stay married and try and make things work, even with they're bad. As soon as the words left my mouth, I wished I could take them back.
My son's next (obvious) question was why I left his dad. I told him that sometimes, no matter how badly you want to keep your vows and stay married, it just can't happen. He seemed to accept it as a temporary answer, but I know him. He'll ask again.
How do you explain divorce to your kids when the issues are one sided and make your ex look VERY bad?
Re: When kids have questions about divorce
You can find a way to explain in a child-friendly way that is appropriate for his age: "Sometimes mommies and daddies don't get along and they have to live apart. This doesn't mean we do not love you; we will always love you and we will always be there whenever you need us."
YOu can then tell him he can contact his dad at any time (if the dad is in contact) if your son needs him or wants to talk to him.
If you aren't crazy about that explanation, see a child psychologist, try your child study team at your local school system or ask a therapist what's the best way to explain a divorce to a very young kiddo. I'm sure you'll find an explanation that you like and that your kiddo will be comfortable with.