August 2006 Weddings
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Do you think I can divorce my husband before Christmas?

Because that may be the only way he makes it to the holiday alive.  So I get a voicemail from MIL to confirm that she received the box I sent of my DS' gifts, and she wanted to let me know that she could wrap the gifts inside while she is wrapping her gifts for DS. 

Um, first why did you open the box? I didn't ask you to and no, can I wrap my own child's gifts?  Of course I didn't say this outloud, instead I just asked my husband does this mean I need to call her if I don't want her to wrap the gifts.

So my husband says "Babe, just relax.  Don't be a spoiled brat." Indifferent If I had was a step closer to the kitchen knives his balls would be nailed to our wall right now. 

Dude how about you tell your mother who has picked out my child's Christmas day outfit, his stocking, gave us a detailed schedule of activities every day that we are there, sent repeated emails about the Christmas Day menu and then follow-up emails how we haven't responded to said emails, and now she wants to wrap the few gifts I actually get to give my child for Christmas because we are purposely limiting gifts because we have to ship it back, and I am being a spoiled brat???  Do I even need to be there for Christmas?  Maybe I should just send my child and husband there and go spend the holiday with my mom like I wanted to in the first place. 

Vent over. 

Sorry about my constant bitching about the holiday. 

Re: Do you think I can divorce my husband before Christmas?

  • Ah the joys of the holidays. It will soon be over - just take deep breaths and smile! Geeked
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  • Sounds like you need *two* spa days!
  • Honestly, you have a lot of valid complaints about your MIL, but this is one I'd let go. ?Most people do open packages without a second thought. ?And she probably thought she was being helpful and saving you a hassle by wrapping them. ?The kid won't know the difference, and it saves you time, so I really don't think that's something worth getting territorial over.

    YH of course could have responded a lot more nicely about it. ?I'll give you that! ?But, people get snappy when someone else criticizes their own family.?

    image
  • I agree with Sibil that she probably was trying to be helpful, but in combination with all of her other controlling behaviors that have been going on, this would drive me batshit crazy.
  • Sibil and Jess I know that you are right.  I think most of this is her just being excited and I keep trying to keep that in perspective.  I don't believe she is being malicious in all of this, but yes it still drives me crazy.  I mostly vent about her here to avoid criticizing her to my husband, so his comment was really unfounded.  But I will work on my Christmas spirit, one strong drink at a time.  Stick out tongue 

    And Soprano and Kmpls, I am going to tack on lunch to my spa appointment, lol.

  • I'm with Sibil and jess (and I'm the first to jump at an opportunity to criticize anyone's MIL), but I think your hubster's comment was completely out of line.  I'm hopeful he was just having a Man Moment and isn't usually prone to such comments. Wink
  • I feel for you mn.  It's so easy to get annoyed over nothing when you already have a big annoyance with someone.  I agree with Sibil, jessa and IIOY. 

    Smack YH in the back of the head next time you see him.  Even if he didn't deserve it this time (which I think he did), he will later. Wink

  • imageis_it_over_yet?:
    I'm with Sibil and jess (and I'm the first to jump at an opportunity to criticize anyone's MIL), but I think your hubster's comment was completely out of line.  I'm hopeful he was just having a Man Moment and isn't usually prone to such comments. Wink

    Totally agree with this.

    "I
  • i feel your pain completely and please vent away. but please don't go cutting off anyone's nuts -- you're starting to sound like your boy jesse jackson. Wink

    i think you have every right to be frustrated. the holidays do this to all of us. and if it helps at all, my FIL sends an Xmas itirenary to us too! and i'll be stuck in Denver with the ILs for an entire week of nonstop winter activities. and this city gals idea of outdoorsy is sitting by the fire with a hot toddy. 

    but i try to make the best of it and laugh off the insanity. i have begun calling the annual pigrimage out west "Camp H'sLastName." it's become such a family joke that H got me a Tshirt that says "I survived Camp H'sLastName" i wear it around the ILs all the time. they dig it because they know that yes, i'll be a good sport and psych myself up for, skiing, snowshoeing, hiking at 6 a.m., but you best beleive i will be taking my alone time when i see fit.

    long story short, enjoy your spa day!!!

  • Thanks for that gypsy.  Go home and kiss your husband for at least recognizing that you are stepping out of your comfort zone for him. That is really awesome.  Smile 

    I think that is most of my frustration.  My husband doesn't see that for someone not used to this kind of hoopla, that it can be overwhelming.  Further, I feel like the lines are really blurred when it comes to who gets to do what for DS.  I feel like I am walking a tightrope. I don't want to be territorial because I see my child everyday and know that MIL does not, but holidays are special for me as well and basically all of the "special" holiday stuff that I can do for DS has pretty much been taken over by her or nixed altogether because we are traveling.  Mix that in with me doing all of the shopping for his family, spending hours doing photobooks as a little something "extra" for his parents, and not spending Christmas with my mother...I feel like I have been anything but spoiled. 

    And for him to say that at the one point I actually show frustration was annoying to say the least.  So yes, it is wrong to summon up Jesse thoughts, but DH is just lucky I didn't go through with it, lol. 

  • girl, i totally hear where you are coming from. and if conjuring jesse is the worst you do, you may be headed for sainthood.

    seriously, have you laid out your feelings to H, as you have in this post? you make valid points that he would be hard pressed not to understand, especially when it comes to your son. there's no question that every couple goes through the endless battles over the ILs around the holidays. but your H needs to understand your desire to establish your own family traditions. and you both need to be on the same page about that.

    i wouldn't be surprised if your H is finding it easier to scoff and downplay your frustration rather than confront what's likely difficult for him. no one likes feeling torn between their allegiances to family members. boys love to do that crap. believe me, when my H choses the path of least resistance on stuff that i'm passionate about, i too, have threatened bodilly harm. lol.

    i say try to talk to him tonight, when you've cooled off some. and when you lay out your arguments, try to avoid targetting his mom and instead focus the conversation on defining your own family traditions in the future. if you start now, you may break free of MIL's chains next year! GL.

  • AAAhhhh, married, you are totally justified in being annoyed.  It's just one more thing added on to the others.  I think gypsy gave great advice on talking to your husband.  It seems like that would probably help a lot if you all were on the same page and you felt like he understood. 

    (off subject - gypsy, do we have the same husband? Mine's family is all about running around the wilderness in the freezing cold also!)

    And married, don't feel bad venting here.  That's one of the best things about this board, IMO.

  • cee-jay! it appears we are in a polygamous relationship. lol. my ILs are so hard core that we're the first fools to hit the ski resorts the second the slopes open. shoot me now!
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