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The "relater"

Please tell me you have a friend like this?! There is not one milestone/event that occurs that she doesn't have to interject her own story/experience. This bothers me to know end.....everything from getting married, babies, illness, death, jobs, whatever! I think I get maybe 30 seconds and BAM, back to her. Please tell me what this is about? Are some people really just that self absorbed or is this just how she processes information??? Sorry for venting- it just really annoys me!

 

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Pregnancy Tickerg
6/20/11 mc @ 5wks
10/19/11 mc @ 17wks- Trisomy 18
IUI #1 4/26/12 BFN
Moving on to IVF in July
37 with DOR...fabulous
ER 7/14/12 6R 5F, ET 7/17 3 embies, beta #1 7/26: 147, beta #2 7/28: 326, beta#3 7/30: 422...ugh, beta#4 7/31: 607...hopeful, beta #5 8/2: 1280, beta #6 8/7: 7184 and u/s shows 1 possibly 2 sacs! 8/14 2 beautiful heartbeats! 9/24 we are TEAM BLUE!!!!!
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Re: The "relater"

  • I'm pretty sure everyone has a friend like that.  I call them "toppers".  Not only do they relate... but their story is so much worse then yours.   Good luck with that.
  • My father is the "relater".  It drives me batty!
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  • Ahh, I have one and she drives me insane....I don't even like calling her anymore and she's my cousin.....even if I just call to vent she has a story about how it happened worse to her.  You say you don't feel good, she feels worse.  You can say you were in a car accident and she would go back to a car accident she was in and how it made her feel and blah blah blah, she never just listens and lets you talk and it drives me nuts!!!
  • Yes! I think everyone is a measuring stick to her.....so as soon as she hears the story she has to figure out how she fits in with it, how it impacts her and whether or not it makes her feel superior/inferior....ugh!!! WTF??
    imageimage image
    Pregnancy Tickerg
    6/20/11 mc @ 5wks
    10/19/11 mc @ 17wks- Trisomy 18
    IUI #1 4/26/12 BFN
    Moving on to IVF in July
    37 with DOR...fabulous
    ER 7/14/12 6R 5F, ET 7/17 3 embies, beta #1 7/26: 147, beta #2 7/28: 326, beta#3 7/30: 422...ugh, beta#4 7/31: 607...hopeful, beta #5 8/2: 1280, beta #6 8/7: 7184 and u/s shows 1 possibly 2 sacs! 8/14 2 beautiful heartbeats! 9/24 we are TEAM BLUE!!!!!
    image
  • I have a CW like that and I have to deal with her on a daily basis.  So very annoying!
  • Would saying "yes" to your question and telling you a horror story make me the new relater?

    Haha...but seriously, I think we all know someone like that. I also sometimes worry that I'm being that person if someone is looking for advice and I offer my own experiences. But I hope my concern about this means that I'm not really that self absorbed.

    I'm pretty sure it's pronounced your mom's a moron and if you didn't have your name legally changed by the age of 22, so are you. Unless you're from another continent. -Groomz
  • I'm sort of the relater.

    usually it's because I want the person I'm talking to know that I understand or am trying to understand using a similar instance that happened to me. Sometimes its because I want them to know thay everything will be ok.

    ex:my friends baby was born early and is still unfortunately in the hospital. relater story- my sil's are twins born early who had major health problems for a long time, but now are healthy, intelligent 19 yr olds. so by relating the story i'm trying to offer some comfort.

    I try really hard not to be a topper though. 

  • I have a student like that.  Whenever we talk about ANYTHING, he has a family member that it has happened to, cancer, AIDS, he is EVERY ethnicity we talk about, car accidents, suicide etc...  I told the new guidance counselor on day one, "so and so has such a hard life, his family has been through so much, wait until you hear about it!"  lol
  • I guess I am also one.  But the stories are not always about me.  So I hope I dont look self absorbed.  I just want the person to know they are not the only one in that situtation.  However, I think the big point is I wait until the person is done tellin the story to say anything.  That is what bothers me is when a person cuts me off to tell their own story.
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  • My sister is the "relater"  For her though its the attention she wants, she doesnt like converstation not being about her.  Not only does she have to top other peoples stories, but Ive caught her telling stories about her experiences that arent hers, but mine or another friends, but she will try and pass off as her own.  very irritating. 
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