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S/o kids and debt....DH spoke to my FIL

So after our big talk about our finances and plan to pay down debt and putting any plans to TTC on hold until DH feels comfortable.....

DH said that he spoke with his dad yesterday. And so I asked how dad is doing. DH said that dad was remarking on how our 2 yr old nephew (in-laws only grandchild) is so smart, talks up a storm and is such a joy when they visit him. And then my FIL remarked on how he and MIL are excited for us to have children someday soon. DH told FIL that we aren't financially ready for that yet and that we are waiting until we are. Soo FIL says "Oh, Mom and I could help out with things if you need." Hahaha.

Bottom line, ILs just would like more grandkids, they want to enjoy them while they are able. So I mentioned DH that his parents worked so hard, coming to this country with nothing so that he and his sister could have a better life. And now, in their mid 60s, they want to enjoy the fruits of their labor - they want to be able to enjoy their children and grandchildren.

So, goooo FIL! It's not me asking about kids this time. Mwhahaha. 

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Re: S/o kids and debt....DH spoke to my FIL

  • Well that is good. That is really nice of them to help you out
  • Not in anyway trying to sound rude,  but why the rush to have kids?  You just got married,  so giving your husband a bit of time to do work on the finances isn't so bad.  If people push,  it is just going to encourage him to find more reasons why waiting is a good idea.  It probably won't take him long to join you in the baby itch on his own.

    I'm currently in your husband's shoes.  Everyone is pushing for a baby,  especially my in-laws,  but I would rather be on a sounder footing before we start trying.  My husband talks about trying this fall,  even more when we have just been around little ones.   The pressure just makes me find more reasons why I want to wait, and a bit annoyed in general.  So that is the source of my opinion.

  • imageleiakat:

    Not in anyway trying to sound rude,  but why the rush to have kids?  You just got married,  so giving your husband a bit of time to do work on the finances isn't so bad.  If people push,  it is just going to encourage him to find more reasons why waiting is a good idea.  It probably won't take him long to join you in the baby itch on his own.

    I'm currently in your husband's shoes.  Everyone is pushing for a baby,  especially my in-laws,  but I would rather be on a sounder footing before we start trying.  My husband talks about trying this fall,  even more when we have just been around little ones.   The pressure just makes me find more reasons why I want to wait, and a bit annoyed in general.  So that is the source of my opinion.

    Good valid question. One of the reasons I'd like to start early is because H is 35 - we would like to have a few kids and I'd like him to be able to run around w/ them. I've heard from many folks that age doesn't matter, but it does to me for some reason.

    I've vowed not to say anything about kids until DH brings it up. I respect him. I just found it funny that his dad was inquiring.

    I totally agree with you, though. Neither of us wants to look back and say "Gee, I wish we had saved more money." And we're both aware that adding a baby on top of existing debt isn't smart. So that's why getting the debt under control is our number one priority.

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  • Very good point,  kids are such a handful it is good to have as much energy as you can to follow them around!

    Good luck getting to you financial 'go' point soon,  so your husband can succumb to baby fever.

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