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anyone else find this tacky??

Ok...let me start off by saying that i hope i don't offend anyone..

 I got a bridal shower invitation for my cousin this morning..Inside is a card for the store that they registered (no problem) BUT it also has a card in it from their photographer and their travel agent...You can buy g.c for both to help them out...i don't know if i am just moody today but i find this really tacky...is it just me?

Re: anyone else find this tacky??

  • This has actually been around for awhile.....a HM registry its called. The photog thing I haven't heard of....

    ?

    not a fan at all though.?

  • I also hope I don't offend anyone (I didn't mean to if I came off strong on the Thank you note position)---

    My first thought was that it was tacky.  I realize HM registries are becoming popular (and I'm starting to get used to them, but I don't like them), but the photog is just odd to me.  Its a wedding vendor and its like asking people to chip in for the DJ or the flowers.   I realize weddings are incredibly expensive, but I think people get carried away with the expense and get in over their head.  Traditionally, the shower is supposed to help the couple start out their home/life together (which is why its centered on gifts for the home).  Its not a gift "free for all", but I think people are getting carried away with gift expectations.

    Although nothing shocks me when it comes to weddings.   I had a co-worker tell me how much his wedding was per head and then asked me for our address (for the invite).  Ummm...was he trying to let me know how much my gift should be?

     

    TTC since April 2009 dx = PCOS; TTC History for DS - A FET miracle after 7 IUIs; 2 fresh transfers, and 1 other FET resulted in BFNs. Hoping and Praying for baby #2: Cycle 1 - FET; November 2012 BFN Next Steps - who knows? Lilypie Second Birthday tickers
  • I understand why they do it but it is just another way of asking for cash.  My cousin registered for only a few things and then had a HM registry.  I felt like we were being forced into contributing to the HM registry.

    Let me get your opinion on this:  I was invited to a baby shower today and the soon-to-be grandmother is hosting (cool) AND the soon-to-be mom!  I was a little put off by this...am I missing something?

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  • I've seen it for the travel,  one wedding had extra you could add to their trip,  but not for photograpghy.  Are they planning to do more than just the wedding pictures?
  • That is certainly something new.... I can't imagine many people esp. the older crowd would go for that.

  • Sgt M's Wife- WHAT???? someone is co-hosting their own shower...i would be put off too
  • I have seen quite a few of the hm registries... mostly from couples who already have homes together.

    I do find the photographer thing strange though...

    SAIFW
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  • imageJin'sWifey:
    Sgt M's Wife- WHAT???? someone is co-hosting their own shower...i would be put off too

    Yep!  I was speechless when I read the invite.  I thought the pregnant woman's mother wasn't even suppose to host because it would look like she was trying to get gifts for her daughter.  I thought a sister or a close friend was suppose to host.

    I think I should have been a woman in the 1950's.

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  • imageSgt M's Wife:

    imageJin'sWifey:
    Sgt M's Wife- WHAT???? someone is co-hosting their own shower...i would be put off too

    Yep!  I was speechless when I read the invite.  I thought the pregnant woman's mother wasn't even suppose to host because it would look like she was trying to get gifts for her daughter.  I thought a sister or a close friend was suppose to host.

    I think I should have been a woman in the 1950's.

    I've only ever been to baby showers thrown by the pregnant woman's mom.  Is that not how it is supposed to be?

  • I don't have a problem w/the pregnant girl's Mom throwing the shower....I just don't think people should throw their own showers
  • I thought bridal showers were to be by friends but baby showers were okay to be by mom's of the pg lady? If not, I guess my mom broke the rules because she hosted my baby shower.
  • I think I must be stuck in the 50s too...I remember when my sister was pg, my mom contributed to the shower (actually, she paid for almost everything and held it in her home), but she was adamant that her name not be included in the invite. 

    I would be incredibly uncomfortable putting my own name on the invite if i was the guest of honor. 

    TTC since April 2009 dx = PCOS; TTC History for DS - A FET miracle after 7 IUIs; 2 fresh transfers, and 1 other FET resulted in BFNs. Hoping and Praying for baby #2: Cycle 1 - FET; November 2012 BFN Next Steps - who knows? Lilypie Second Birthday tickers
  • I might be confused between the bridal and baby showers.  Regardless...the guest of honor shouldn't be hosting their own.
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  • Wow! I never knew about the Grandmom NOT hosting the shower...I guess it is a good thing i hosted my sister's shower
  • I don't think the "grandma thing" is bad etiquette. I think its OK for Grandma to host, but many people are just uncomfortable with that.
    TTC since April 2009 dx = PCOS; TTC History for DS - A FET miracle after 7 IUIs; 2 fresh transfers, and 1 other FET resulted in BFNs. Hoping and Praying for baby #2: Cycle 1 - FET; November 2012 BFN Next Steps - who knows? Lilypie Second Birthday tickers
  • hmm... I understand both points of view.  I personally find it tacky to ask for money towards your honeymoon.... if you can't afford it without help, then you need to scale it down. 

    Now, the picture thing... my photographer offerd this 3 years ago, and I found it odd then, lol.  but... it wasn't money towards the package... it was money towards the extras that a bride/groom buy afterwards... extra prints, frames etc... and parent albums were already included in the package cost, so it really was for the bride/groom to get more pics of themselves... which I am okay with that.

  • hosting your own shower is like throwing your own surprise party! lol
  • It definitely isn't you, Jinswifey. I would feel the same way as you.

    I have seen the HM registry thing before and to be honest, I am not a fan.  I read somewhere that even though the guest might be "buying" a certain thing off the registry (massage, dinner, drinks), the couple simply recieved a check of the total amount of $ that was contributed to the registry.  So, they can choose to use the money however they want.  It just seems like asking people to pay for your HM to me. 

    The photog thing is just odd.  I have never heard of that before.

     

  • imageJin'sWifey:

    ...Inside is a card for the store that they registered (no problem) BUT it also has a card in it from their photographer and their travel agent...You can buy g.c for both to help them out...i don't know if i am just moody today but i find this really tacky...is it just me?

    IMHO, I don't think that any enclosures should go inside invitations like that.  Showers are for close friends and relatives and most of them should be able to find out through word-of-mouth where you are registered.  Any additional enclosures is like asking for you to give gc for those.  Tacky.

  • The HM registry doesn't bother me as much as the photography. I've never heard of that.
  • I think it is a bit tacky to be asking your guests to pay for your wedding vendors.

    It is one thing when your guests choose to give you a cash gift to start your new life together, but it's another when they're paying for the chocolate fountain. LOL

    HM registries I don't think are as bad as the photographer registry but it was personally not my thing.?

    Expecting Baby #1 12/3/13
  • I agree with most of the posters - I've heard of the HM registry. I wouldn't do it, but at least it's been around. Never heard of the photographer thing!

    Re: Baby showers. I thought the expecting woman's mom hosted? I'm fairly certain my mom and grandmom are the ones hosting mine. I may have read things wrong and now I'm confused! 

  • My mom hosted my baby showers.  My sister's shower was last month and our mom and my sister's MIL co-hosted.  I don't think it's tacky or odd for the new baby's grandmom to host.  But for the pregnant woman to host her own?  Yeah, that's tacky. 

    The photog thing sounds a little tacky to me, too.

  • I thought about doing a HM registry then I realized we would be starting our life together trying to live beyond our means.  We lived together for 3  years before getting married so we really didnt need anything.  So instead we just upgraded our older things.  I think both the HM registry and photographer registry are tacky.  Although I am very traditional in things like this.  I too should have been around in the 1950's.
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  • I thought about the HM registery too but decided against it...we've lived together for 2 yrs already an we bought the stuff we needed from the start so we are just adding a few things here and there and getting the big things we didn't buy ourselves like the mixer and food processor and of course just getting more sheets and towls. 

    I'm ok with the honeymoon registry and my mom actually go an invite with a photography registry and she had no problem with the idea.  I wouldn't do it, but if someone did it I really wouldn't care

  • IMO the photographer gift card is tacky. If you can't afford your wedding vendors then don't book them. As for prints and all the extra stuff- most photographers use digital now and include the digital proofs. So your no longer bound to the photographer for all your enlargement and prints.

     The honeymoon thing, I'm neutral about. As a couple who lived in a house for years before getting married we had a lot of house stuff. But the wedding gave us a chance to upgrade and get things we really wanted. Like a new vaccuum :)

    You don't host your own shower. period.

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