Dancing at weddings - not your own!

2brides

We were invited to a wedding of one of L's co-workers. It is someone she knows fairly well through work - but we don't socialize outside of work.  It is going to be a relatively small affair in a beautiful local mansion. 

 
Would you (or have you) danced at a straight wedding (of someone who isn't a close friend - of course we danced at my best friends (straight) wedding as did all of her gay friends!) but I don't want to take the focus off the bride and groom while everyone gapes at the 2 women dancing.  We are completely out to the bride (never met the groom.)  Would you sit out? Dance?  Slow dance?  I feel so silly for asking this.

Two*True

I think by the time dancing comes around you'll have a good 'feel' for the crowd.  You'll either be comfortable dancing or you won't.  I say go for it, but that comes from someone who pinches her wife's butt in public (you know...like when she's pushing the shopping cart - lol).  And maybe there will be other gay couples there as well so you won't be standing out.

 

cookiemonster03

You were invited. You can dance.

We went to the wedding of a guy I went to HS with, and were the only gays...we danced. I don't think anyone noticed.

ctbride08

definitely dance.

even when we're the only same sex couple it never seems to be a big deal. you will know the crowd better than us, but generally i would consider it a non-issue.

moandmeg

Don't you hate that we have to think about this stuff?  Ugh.

2brides

I know - I feel like such a dork having to ask this. But they are an older couple (2nd marriages) and I just want to be respectful. Heck, it might even be a non-issue if the reception is running late and we need to get home to the boys and let our friend/babysitter go home.

slbacon1986

Dance!!!! Just because two womwn dance together that dosen't always scream GAY!!! Just have a good time.

ssg73

I would def. decide once you see the crowd.  It all depends on the vibe. S and I have danced at some not at others just depends.  I didn't dance at my ex boyfriends wedding since it was small and it would have been a deal but at other friends weddings we did and it was cool.

bluedaisyus

i make it a general rule to not dance. it's not a pretty sight. unless i've been drinking. or i'm home alone. or i think i'm alone. boy, was that embarrassing...

that said, i don't think it's a big deal unless you plan on making out on the dance floor, and frankly you don't seem like that kind of woman. although i've been wrong before. just sayin'.

leapgirl8

I usually ask the couple discreetly before the wedding - even if they're really supportive and friendly, you never know if there is a super-conservative uncle, etc. lurking in the wings. I don't want to give anyone the excuse to make a scene. I've never had a couple discourage us from dancing, but I still prefer to ask. Beyond that, we just gage the crowd - if there are a lot of older people or the ceremony was pretty religious/traditional, we do the group dancing thing and couple-dance during the faster stuff, but we don't slow dance or do anything too romantic. If it's a younger crowd we might slow dance some too. We went to a lesbian wedding in October and there were SO many lesbian couples there and we slow danced all night long - it was FABULOUS ?

Duchess1

S is not comfortable doing it so we don't. I don't think there is anything wrong with it though. You can usually get a good feel for the group and tell if it's going to be an issue or not. I hope you get to dance!

KimNSandy

It IS a shame that you even have to worry and ask such a thing...but that being said...I agree with the general opinions below that you just have to gauge your audience. If it's a bunch of old fogies, well, it might be easier to just refrain. it doesn't lessen the love you have for each other. It's just being respectful of another generation's feelings. These are "complete stranger" old people, they are in some related to the people you are there to see joined in marriage. So hopefully it will be a good crowd and you won't have to even think twice and can dance the night away if you want to....

 But have fun anyway...regardless of this.

bklynbrides

We always dance at weddings these days.  When we were first together we were shy about it, now I don't think we even think about it.  It has become automatic.  We were at my friend's wedding and she had mentioned in the past that her parents were somewhat homophobic.  Her mother came up to us while we were dancing.  She was sweet as could be and talked about how wonderful it was that W is pregnant.  I guess we have not had any bad experiences and live in a pretty liberal place, which has impacted our point of view.  I do think that while in the early days we were really self conscious, most people didn't even notice.