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Favortism...who has to deal with it?
If your DH has siblings does your inlaws play favorites?
Mine do. Well actually just my MIL does. My BIL is 21, fixing to be a senior at Auburn, and has a really good paying intern job this semester.. Well my MIL called me complaining earlier today saying that my BIL had told her last night that he had spent too much on his GF for Christmas now he didn't have the money to cover rent. Well first of all my inlaws pay all of his school stuff and living expenses. They put $$ in his account at the beginning of every month for rent, utilities, etc. Then he gets to keep his paychecks. His internship pays him 17.95 an hour so he makes pretty decent for someone who has essentially no bills since his parents pay his normal stuff. Well that means that this month (and it's on the 9th) he had spent not only his paycheck but also the money his parents put in to cover living expenses all on his GF so he wanted his parents to give him more $$.
So my mil pays his rent and then puts $1000 dollars in his account!! Can I ask how he is going to learn to manage his money if she is going to do that? Then she was complaining because my FIL had gotten upset about her doing that. He said fine to paying his rent but he was ticked about her putting $1000 dollars in his account...he told her she should have told my BIL that he had to make do on whatever he had left of his first paycheck until the next one comes along. I agree with my FIL. But my MIL would never let her baby go without like that. It ticks me off because my MIL doesn't work so this is my FILs money she is throwing at her son.
And it ticks me off because she would have never done something like that for my DH. My DH went to school full time and worked at Sam's during college and our dating days were off of a minimum wage budget. Heck he completely paid for my engagement ring while working at Sam's. His mom never gave him money to spend on me while we were dating.
This is just one of the many things I have witnessed during the 5 years of being with DH.
So do any of ya'll's inlaws favor one child over the other?
Re: Favortism...who has to deal with it?
I'm not trying to be flameful, but this sentence bothers me.
I have in-law problems too. Just ignore it as much as possible. Dwelling on it won't make anyone miserable but you. I know from experience. I have a somewhat similar BIL.
I don't mean it like it's not her money as well. I realize how that came off now. I just find it ridiculous that she throws such large chunks of money at my BIL while knowing my FIL is out there working hard for that money. I mean this is money my BIL is going to waste. That's all I meant by it. Sorry to offend you if that is what I did.
My IL's don't favor anyone.
But if it makes you feel better my mom still pays for my sister's cell phone and car insurance, even though my sister makes more money than I do, has a college degree, is almost 24 and married.
I've learned not to question how other people deal with money.
I realize what you were saying. It wasn't offended and figured you were typing "in the heat of the moment". No big deal.
Try to be greatful you guys can pay your bills without help. I know how annoying it can be, and it just seems worse at Christmas.
Oh trust me I am grateful. I don't expect any help from them. We are very blessed and I am truly grateful for that.
My aggravation extends towards the fact that my MIL calls me griping because my FIL is upset with her for doing this. Well my solution is that if you know he is going to be upset, then just don't do it. And please don't drag me and my DH into it.
Sorry guys I was just venting. I didn't mean to sound like an ungrateful brat.
I don't think you sound like a brat at all and I totally understand about venting about the in-laws. I could tell you some wacky stories about those people.
For me personally, I struggle with anxiety issues. Unfortunately, my in-laws make things very difficult. Their way of doing things and handling situations is so completely different from mine. It has been a difficult adjustment to me. With Christmas coming up my stress level is high and I'm just trying to focus on the positive. Being grateful for my relationship with dh, the things we have planned in the the next year, etc. I totally did not mean I though you were being ungrateful and hope you didn't take it that way.
This is how I feel about my MIL.
Candi- I'm sorry you are frustrated. The best thing I think you can do is to try and ignore it. Easier said than done I know!!! I hope it gets better!!!