Help! I think my child is already entering the terrible twos..

hlw082104

...and he's only 15 mos old!!! I really need to get some advice from some mommies about what to do about scratching, biting, hair pulling, etc. I look him in the eye and firmly tell him, "No, that's not nice. Scratching hurts." And we have tried "time out" making him sit in his Bumbo seat for 2 minutes after he does out, but he just keeps doing it. It's just gotten so bad the last few days...he's been sick but I don't think that's the reason he's doing it...any suggestions?

greeneyz7

Just be persistent with him. Eventually he will understand what you mean.

hlw082104

I hope so...I think what bothers me the most is that what if he knows he's not supposed to do it and when he does it right after I tell him not to...I think it just makes me worry that he's starting a pattern of not respecting us as his parents...I know that sounds crazy and paranoid...

greeneyz7

Most likely Smith is testing his boundaries, and wants to see if no really means no, that's why I mentioned being persistent in how you react. Most little ones at around his age begin to push the limits just to see how far they can go. Give it a little more time, then if you really believe there's about to be a problem, consult someone with some training about a better way to handle it.

They are all different. What worked with me for Lauren did not always work for David so I had to find what worked with each one. Mother's instinct is a very good thing.

Everyone has opinions about this kind of thing, you will find people who offer "expert" opinions yet have raised no kids of their own and know nothing about child behavior and psychology. Then you find those who have raised a house full but have no answers for your particular problem. Then you finally learn to trust your own instincts as his mom and if that means talking to an expert, then that's what you do.

 

(OH...you might check out some book stores and there might be help online) Books helped me a lot back in the day.

FutureMrsWagner

Have you tried spanking?  I was totally against spanking when Haley was little, but once she reached the terrible 2's...and 3's, I realized that sometimes spanking is all that worked.  I spanked as a last resort and always tried to make sure I never spanked in anger and always tried to tell her why she was being spanked, but when you've tried everything else and nothing has worked you sometimes just have to do it.  I know that it probably seems cruel to you to spank him especially since he's only 15 months, but if he knows that he is doing something that he's not supposed to do and he purposefully disobeys you and does it anyway...it may be time.  You have to get the point across to him that when you say "No", you mean "No".  If he keeps getting away with doing those things, it will only get worse.  I hope I don't sound too harsh and I know all of this is easier said than done, but I feel like I learned some pretty good lessons regarding discipline raising Haley as a single mom and also as a teacher for several years so I'm hoping it will be (at least a little bit) easier with Caleb!  Good luck!

greeneyz7

FutureMrsWagner:

Have you tried spanking?  I was totally against spanking when Haley was little, but once she reached the terrible 2's...and 3's, I realized that sometimes spanking is all that worked.  I spanked as a last resort and always tried to make sure I never spanked in anger and always tried to tell her why she was being spanked, but when you've tried everything else and nothing has worked you sometimes just have to do it.  I know that it probably seems cruel to you to spank him especially since he's only 15 months, but if he knows that he is doing something that he's not supposed to do and he purposefully disobeys you and does it anyway...it may be time.  You have to get the point across to him that when you say "No", you mean "No".  If he keeps getting away with doing those things, it will only get worse.  I hope I don't sound too harsh and I know all of this is easier said than done, but I feel like I learned some pretty good lessons regarding discipline raising Haley as a single mom and also as a teacher for several years so I'm hoping it will be (at least a little bit) easier with Caleb!  Good luck!

 

I hated to, but I had to spank David, that was the only thing that would get his attention. With Lauren just a look would do the job.

hlw082104

We're not aganst spanking, but I haven't tried it yet. Especially with the hitting, I don't know if it would make sense to him.

greeneyz7

15 month old pulling hair hitting - Google Search

 

I did a google and found all kinds of things on this topic. Someone mentioned that this was discussed in a John Grey book...I "think" I remember reading some things by him years ago.