June Cleaver

tigerfighter

Had a discussion with DH yesterday and it seems he wants a June Cleaver 50-style housewife.  I am expected to work (40+ office hours a week), that I should cook meals since DH does it as a job, and clean the house, and be a seductress.  And my depression I have I just have to deal with it and not let it affect our marriage and go to a counselor to get Adderall or Ridalin because DH says I have ADD.

SmrBrd2012

It looks like from this and your other posts about your H that you really need to get some counseling both separately and together. You both need to contribute equally to your relationship whether that be through housework, job, etc. I'm not really sure what else to tell you.

MLE2010

June Cleaver did not work outside her house and in the 50s women used alcohol to get through. Tell him to F off and read a history book.

Why are you still with him?!?

tigerfighter

I couldn't think of any other references beside June Cleaver to describe how to act at home.  I am working up the nerve to do it.  He chooses to have big discussions after I worked 50 hours this week and exhausted and I still have work to do all weekend at home.

loves2shop4shoes

Oh good.  So you're married to a guy who wants you to be a caricature and not a real person?

Show him the door.

magsugar13

How about you just don't do it?

Disneygeek77

Make plans to leave.  There is no future here, at least not a happy and healthy one.  If you stay with him, you will be choosing a life of misery for yourself and any future children.  Do you understand ?  You, the mother, will be choosing a life of misery for your own children.  Why ?  Probably because of low self worth because a woman that loves and respects herself wouldn't stand for this. 

You don't need to discuss anything.  You don't need his permission to leave.  You just do it. 

Trust me,  you can have a much better life than the one you are living right now. 

TarponMonoxide

tigerfighter said:

Had a discussion with DH yesterday and it seems he wants a June Cleaver 50-style housewife.  I am expected to work (40+ office hours a week), that I should cook meals since DH does it as a job, and clean the house, and be a seductress.  And my depression I have I just have to deal with it and not let it affect our marriage and go to a counselor to get Adderall or Ridalin because DH says I have ADD.

He wants what?

Didn't you and he discuss marriage and what each of your expectations and goals were for marriage BEFORE you got married????

You evidently did not discuss: cooking and who would do it and when, housecleaning and who would do it and when and 50-50 partnering.

See the boldfaced part of your post?

This guy is a problem. He also doesn'gt GET IT that you have a chronic condition.

Tell us where you met this gem and what was so great about him that you wanted him as your very own husband....because I say he stinks on ice.

ReturnOfKuus

How does a guy like this get sex, ever, let alone a wife?!

Leftie22

Then tell him you want a 50's-style husband who works crazy hard and makes tons of money so you don't have to have a job. I bet that won't sound so appealing. But seriously, if this is what he expects, he's going to have a very unhappy life. And if you stay, you're going to have an even more unhappy life. Tell him you aren't going to do it. If he's not willing to meet you halfway, I don't see how the situation will work out. Sorry he's being such a chauvinist wang.

tigerfighter

I've worked for the last few weeks almost 50 hours a week in office, atleast 1 weekend day doing work from home, and just this week spent 8 hours working after working 10 hours at the office.  and he complained that I didn't thank him for doing the household laundry and leaving my clothes folded on  the bureau.  When we lived at our old place I did the laundry all the time and never expected a thank you and I put all the clothes away.  Thank god my work has a ton to do right now so I dont always have to be home.

Leftie22

Do you think he realizes how much you do, or does he seriously not care? If he might care, maybe make a list of all the household chores and how often they need doing. Put a check mark beside the ones you're currently doing. Maybe that will be the wake up call he needs? But if he seriously doesn't care about how hard you're working, you need to think hard about if this is the loving, supportive partner you want to spend your life with.