WTF Monday

LuckyAngel07

We need this to become a thing. I'm starting it now. Because of THIS FB post:

"4am baby screaming wake up call & can't fall back asleep = miserable!! Ugh FML"

FML for that? REALLY?! I wanted to respond "At least you HAVE a baby!!" Apparently I'm not entirely over my hangover/headache/exhaustion from yesterday and the snark is in full force today. Watch out world.

PS: Sorry I was MIA all weekend. A lot of shit went on here. Hugs, love, sarcasm, snark, FX, GL, and overall hatred of AF to everyone. you ladies.

Uptowngirl2009

I posted this before on a FFC thread but I hate when I hear parents saying that they just can't wait for their kids to go back to school. One mother in particular has said that she has been in such a grouchy, bad mood and she thinks the kids need to go back to school. I want to say, "Why did you have three kids then?" but I just keep my mouth shut. Meanwhile I'm hoping and praying for a child to spend my summers with.

lilliesandvino

I understand what you're saying, but I think you can love and want something(one) with all your heart and still get frustrated.

For example, my H may be going out of town this weekend and I can't wait for some alone time. Does this mean that I take him for granted or wish I was single? No way, and I hope my single friends would understand this.

Waiting4AMiracle

How about I just found out this girl I know who got pregnant on accident had an abortion and it was twins. Sick. I mean she couldnt afford them or whatever but at the same time it just makes me sick that THIS is the kind of person who gets knocked up every time she looks at a penis and she just literally throws them away. She has two kids already and has had at least one abortion before. SMH. WTF, Monday...

LuckyAngel07

@lillisandvino: I definitely get wanting some alone time. There's nothing wrong with that. Or even getting frustrated as a parent when your kid wakes you before dawn and you're exhausted all day. But to end that sentiment with "FML"?!?! Never. EVER!

@Waiting4AMiracle: That is sick. I understand and support a woman's right to choose, but I really truly believe that if you get yourself knocked up accidentally and neither you nor the baby(ies) are at risk during the pregnancy, you see it through and either raise those babies or give them up for adoption.

lilliesandvino

So she should have had children she couldn't afford and didn't want?

poppies717

Even my non-TTC friends have told me they are annoyed by parents complaining on FB. I think they have every right to be frustrated (I'm not naive enough to think I'll never be frustrated), but I think putting it on FB so publicly is a bit unfair to the kid. My WTF will have to wait. I have my appointment with the dildo cam in a bit, and I'm sure I'll have something to WTF about after.

LuckyAngel07

lilliesandvino said:

So she should have had children she couldn't afford and didn't want?

No, not at all. If she could afford to take care of them, accident or no, then I believe she should be raising them. If not, I believe in getting set up with an adoption agency early on. I just think there are far too many women out there wanting babies (hello to everyone here) and unable to have them for someone who can so easily get pregnant to just throw them away.

islandmonkey8

I don't want to cause issues here. But I don't understand judging someone else's choice to have an abortion. I would never because I'm not in that person's shoes. I don't know their situation (financially, emotionally, medically) and therefore don't feel I have a right to judge their decision. Accidental pregnancy or not, there are a million reasons for abortion even in people who have children already (ex. I know a happily married woman on BC and using condoms still get pregnant but cannot afford to have another child when she already has two because of the possible health risks to mother based on almost dying with first two childbirths).

I know most of us are here just dreaming of the day we get to hold our own squishy babies, but I don't feel we have a right to judge other's decisions not to.

Waiting4AMiracle

LuckyAngel07 said:

lilliesandvino said:

So she should have had children she couldn't afford and didn't want?

No, not at all. If she could afford to take care of them, accident or no, then I believe she should be raising them. If not, I believe in getting set up with an adoption agency early on. I just think there are far too many women out there wanting babies (hello to everyone here) and unable to have them for someone who can so easily get pregnant to just throw them away.

^^^^^This. My issue is more of a "Why does (whatever you believe as the creator, fate, etc) allow this type of person, who would just throw them away to get pr and then people who really want it cant." Its just more of a slap in the face than anything else. Its like the universe is laughing at me. "Hahaha, you cant get pr no matter how *perfect* your timing or situation is but this girl can get pr repeatedly on accident and just get rid of them."

LuckyAngel07

islandmonkey8 said:

I don't want to cause issues here. But I don't understand judging someone else's choice to have an abortion. I would never because I'm not in that person's shoes. I don't know their situation (financially, emotionally, medically) and therefore don't feel I have a right to judge their decision. Accidental pregnancy or not, there are a million reasons for abortion even in people who have children already (ex. I know a happily married woman on BC and using condoms still get pregnant but cannot afford to have another child when she already has two because of the possible health risks to mother based on almost dying with first two childbirths).

I know most of us are here just dreaming of the day we get to hold our own squishy babies, but I don't feel we have a right to judge other's decisions not to.

I agree 100% with the bolded portion of what you said. And in my original response, I did qualify "if mother or baby(ies) are NOT at risk during the pregnancy" (which includes labor, as much as that can be foreseen). 

I would never judge someone for having an abortion. I'm really not doing that here. But I do not understand throwing away an otherwise healthy pregnancy and baby that could be carried to term and then adopted into a loving household. 

One of DH's best friends from high school had to give birth prematurely (c-section) back in December because of early preeclampsia. She had erratic high blood pressure with her first pregnancy, and then the preeclampsia complications with her second. I would in no way judge her for aborting should she get pregnant again (and as far as I'm aware, they're doing nothing to prevent that from happening, despite her obvious health risks). I absolutely believe the health of the mother is a major consideration in carrying a pregnancy to term, and no woman should ever be faulted for ending a pregnancy that would put her life in serious jeopardy. 

lilliesandvino

How quickly someone else can get pregnant has no impact on how quickly anyone else can get pregnant.

And yes, she could have put them up for adoption, but why should she have had to go through a higher risk unwanted pregnancy so someone could adopt them (and probably split them up at birth). Pregnancy and childbirth are expensive and can be dangerous.

I know you said you were commenting about how it's not fair, but using words like "sick" and "throw away" make it sound like you're shaming her.

LuckyAngel07

lilliesandvino said:

I know you said you were commenting about how it's not fair, but using words like "sick" and "throw away" make it sound like you're shaming her.

I apologize for using those words. You're right; they're inappropriate to accurately convey my feelings and I shouldn't have used them.

It's flat-out unfair. I know someone else's ability to get pregnant has nothing to do with mine. W4AM didn't mention anything about that person specifically being high risk during the pregnancy, but your points about the cost of pregnancy/labor are good ones that I hadn't really thought about.

islandmonkey8

@LuckyAngel07 I get that. I do. But I just don't agree with judging anyone's decision regarding abortion. Even if it's a financial decision. Carrying a baby to term is a big decision that effects a person's life in so many ways. Choosing to give your child up for adoption is amazing but not every woman is able to make that decision. I don't think I could ever have an abortion, but I don't think I'd ever give a child I gave birth to up for adoption either. Just because finances are the reason for a choice, I don't feel that adoption is always an option either.  This is just my opinion of course.

caseyandlizzie

@luckyangel - multiples in general is typically considered a high risk pregnancy.

All the judgement being thrown around here is really pretty gross. You have no idea what is going on with her life and she had the right to make whatever decisions she feels is best for herself. Life isn't fair, we all know this, so there's no point in getting all butthurt about this. I know it's hard to put yourself in her shoes since having one healthy baby is all you want, but try to have some compassion and understanding for her situation.

LuckyAngel07

You're right; you're absolutely right. I know. Depending on my mood, I do sometimes get all butthurt over the unfairness of it all. Today is definitely one of those days. It's just the mood I'm in. So I'm sorry if I offended. Today is probably a good day to keep my thoughts to myself, because they're going to lean toward the ungenerous side of the spectrum, whereas tomorrow or another day I'd likely be feeling far more compassionate.

Waiting4AMiracle

Really? Now, after all of you straight up attack people for asking simple questions (which actually IS judgmental BTW), I am being judgmental over her choice to have an abortion? So let me get this straight... on this board its ok to hate on people who are posting about their joy of being pg, but its not ok to be disgusted that a person gets pg multiple times and aborts? Like I said, my entire point is the unfairness of the situation making me sad and sick to my stomach. Go ahead and abort your fucking baby all you want but that doesn't mean I cant feel upset over it. Did I tell her shes an awful person or something? HELL NO. I simply said that it is unfair and sick that she gets knocked up all the time and throws it away (because in case you didn't know that's what they do with aborted fetuses so its not an opinion of judgment its a FACT) and other people cant get pg no matter how hard they try. 

islandmonkey8

Waiting4AMiracle said:

Really? Now, after all of you straight up attack people for asking simple questions (which actually IS judgmental BTW), I am being judgmental over her choice to have an abortion? So let me get this straight... on this board its ok to hate on people who are posting about their joy of being pg, but its not ok to be disgusted that a person gets pg multiple times and aborts? Like I said, my entire point is the unfairness of the situation making me sad and sick to my stomach. Go ahead and abort your fucking baby all you want but that doesn't mean I cant feel upset over it. Did I tell her shes an awful person or something? HELL NO. I simply said that it is unfair and sick that she gets knocked up all the time and throws it away (because in case you didn't know that's what they do with aborted fetuses so its not an opinion of judgment its a FACT) and other people cant get pg no matter how hard they try. 

I don't think anyone was saying (myself included) that you didn't have a right to be jealous or think it is unfair that she is pregnant. Judging her decision to abort was the issue. You have every right to be jealous, upset, and feel like it is unfair. It is. It's the judgment that her decision to abort was wrong that I find hard to take. That's what I read was being criticized. Not your feelings of the unfairness of it all.

caseyandlizzie

@waiting4amiracle you have every right to be jealous, but like I said, try putting yourself in her shoes. I'm sure making the decision to abort isn't something she took lightly, though from an outsiders perspective it may seem that way, just like if she had decided to give the babies up for adoption would be a huge and hard decision. Like I said, life isn't fair. We're all dealt different cards. Some have an easier path, and other have a more difficult path. Just because she's able to get pregnant easily doesn't mean that everything else in her life is peachy.

Waiting4AMiracle

@islandmonkey8, I didnt really have a problem with the way you were putting stuff but here's Caseys little quip and that is what set me off.  

caseyandlizzie said:

 All the judgement being thrown around here is really pretty gross. You have no idea what is going on with her life and she had the right to make whatever decisions she feels is best for herself. Life isn't fair, we all know this, so there's no point in getting all butthurt about this. I know it's hard to put yourself in her shoes since having one healthy baby is all you want, but try to have some compassion and understanding for her situation.

 That pretty much sounds to me like "Life isnt fair so shut up and quit bitching" We should probably eliminate this entire board since life is not fair so there's no point in getting butthurt over it. 

Waiting4AMiracle

Fair enough girls. and @caseyandlizzie I didnt see your last post before posting mine. I really understand her decision to abort based on her situation it just sucks and I wish it didnt have to be that way and it makes me sick. I suppose we can chalk this little "argument" up to miscommunication. Why is that word underlined in red?? Is that not how you spell miscommunication? Derp. 

BruinsBabe33

I am pro choice which means I feel that it is each woman's decision to do what they want with their body. This means more than just having an abortion or not having an abortion to me. While personally, I do not believe that abortion should be used as birth control, some women do use it that way and that is their choice. I'm not saying it is fair, but since when has life been fair. I think the important thing to remember is that their fertility still has no affect on someone else's. I believe that each person should have the power to choose what happens to their body and while, yes, there is an ongoing battle with this in our government, I am happy that most women do have the power to choose what happens to them.