When is too late to be home? What is reasonable?

haveyousetadate

My husband and I have a 2am curfew, with the understanding that if something comes up, we'll call each other and make sure it's OK to stay out a little later. The main point of contention is always being in communication with one another. If my husband gets home at 2:30, but hasn't been texting me or in touch periodically... that's a no-go. If he calls me beforehand to let me know what's up, and I'm not home worried sick, it's fine.

Kimbus22

I'm still flabbergasted that adults have a curfew.  Crap I didn't even have a curfew as a teenager.  I always abide by the "If you're going to be home after midnight call and tell me so I don't wait up" rule.

erollis

haveyousetadate said:

My husband and I have a 2am curfew, with the understanding that if something comes up, we'll call each other and make sure it's OK to stay out a little later. The main point of contention is always being in communication with one another. If my husband gets home at 2:30, but hasn't been texting me or in touch periodically... that's a no-go. If he calls me beforehand to let me know what's up, and I'm not home worried sick, it's fine.

It's silly to get upset if H was supposed to be home by 2 and was back by 2:30 without texting to let you know.

I honestly don't care about if its 2am or 2pm. If we go out and say we'll be back by a certain time we hold to it. BUT we don't get upset over 30 minutes or so past the set time without the other calling. There is such a thing as traffic or other unexpected delays that add on Extra time. If we are running late (or having that good a time) by a couple of hours or so we let the other know. We call if we feel we need to even if its only a 30 minute delay. We use our good judgement. We worry only when it's late and no communication at all because once in a while we get caught up and forget to/ can't call.

It's about communication (and trust) OP. Communicating what each of you are comfortable with. Having realistic expectations and compromise.

theteno

Who "Plays Poker" until 6am?!

R.Wilsonny

Kimbus22 said:

I'm still flabbergasted that adults have a curfew.  Crap I didn't even have a curfew as a teenager.  I always abide by the "If you're going to be home after midnight call and tell me so I don't wait up" rule.

Yea, I don't get the whole curfew thing either. For me, if my H goes out without me, and if for some reason he is going to be late, all I ask is that he calls or texts me to let me know, just so I'm not left worrying that something happened to him (like he got into an accident on the way home or something). I think that's just common courtesy....

GilliC

theteno said:

Who "Plays Poker" until 6am?!

Our group of friends has played Settlers of Catan until 6am. Some people are lame like that.

anssett

theteno said:

Who "Plays Poker" until 6am?!

People who like activities other than watching tv? Seriously. Don't you have friends and hobbies? I don't play poker but we also don't police each other's hobby hours of operation. *shakes head*

erollis

GilliC said:

theteno said:

Who "Plays Poker" until 6am?!

Our group of friends has played Settlers of Catan until 6am. Some people are lame like that.

LAN parties (back in the day), playing Risk or Munchkin until the crack of dawn. Lame people rule. I've just talked with friends until the wee hours of the morning before.

mimiphin

For us my main "rule" is if he stays up to party with the boys he needs to get up and work with the men- AKA anything that needs to be done the next day (going to work) gets done. I trust him 100% and I dont care if he goes out with the boys as long as its the same way with my girls and I

Rainzzzy

My only concern would be that my husband not drink and drive, or get into a car where the driver is drunk either. I would prefer he call and I would pick him up. If this was a weekend and not a work night no problem. If it was at a time when he knew I had to get up at 6am for work I would be annoyed if he was obnoxiously late as it would cut into my sleep. In that case he could take a cab. I know far too many people (including many of his friends) who still think it's ok to drink and drive.

a6a14173

Kimbus22 said:

I'm still flabbergasted that adults have a curfew.  Crap I didn't even have a curfew as a teenager.  I always abide by the "If you're going to be home after midnight call and tell me so I don't wait up" rule.

This.  Your husband is not a child.  If you trust him, then trust that he won't do anything stupid.  If you don't, then I'd suggest you seek couples counselling.  It's good to spend time with friends, and on a special occasion like a buddy's wedding, forcing him to be the guy who says, "Sorry, guys, my wife told me to be home by 2" will just make him resentful.

Oh, and staying out late doesn't equal infidelity.  You can get a lap dance at 10 am if you want to...

kss20

This makes you sound like his mom.  Let him go out and play until whatever time and then laugh over the ridiculous details the next morning when you see him.  Also, why would you not go someplace just because he can't go?  You need to live your own life. 

Jaje09182010

Honestly every marriage is different but in my case- DH and I both go to bachlorette parties and sometimes it is an overnight, and everyone is staying together, and it is just easier to spend time with friends a few nights a part wouldn't bother me if they are for special occasions.

Jaje09182010

Honestly every marriage is different but in my case- DH and I both go to bachlorette parties and sometimes it is an overnight, and everyone is staying together, and it is just easier to spend time with friends a few nights a part wouldn't bother me if they are for special occasions.