Married Life
bliss611
member
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Fight with MIL
in Married Life
I live in an almost Everybody-Loves-Raymond-esque set-up. My MIL lives nest door to us. She's old, sickly and alone so it makes sense. And though we've had our issues, we generally get along. I'm a SAHM working on a masters so I would drop DS off at MIL's for an hour or so everyday so I could get stuff done or have Me time.
A month and half ago, we all - MIL included - had dinner at my parents house. She said some stuff that was out of line and hurtful to my mom, my SIL, and me. This was in the kitchen with just the girls so DH didn't know. The next day, in private I confronted her about it and we got into a big fight. I did say some things that were all true but hurtful nonetheless. She stormed out of my place saying she never wanted to see me again or speak to me. We haven't spoken since and I haven't taken DS to her house since. DH has been taking him over to play with her, either the two of them together or leaving him there.
The thing is I haven't said anything to DH about this and from the looks of it, neither has she. I didn't see the point of stressing him out about it, causing a fight between them or putting him in a position between us. But I feel like he HAS to know something is wrong - I usually do go over to see her, etc. But yet this last week or so he keeps asking me to take DS there during the day. And because he keeps bringing that up, I feel like I have to tell him about the fight.
I should tell him right?
A month and half ago, we all - MIL included - had dinner at my parents house. She said some stuff that was out of line and hurtful to my mom, my SIL, and me. This was in the kitchen with just the girls so DH didn't know. The next day, in private I confronted her about it and we got into a big fight. I did say some things that were all true but hurtful nonetheless. She stormed out of my place saying she never wanted to see me again or speak to me. We haven't spoken since and I haven't taken DS to her house since. DH has been taking him over to play with her, either the two of them together or leaving him there.
The thing is I haven't said anything to DH about this and from the looks of it, neither has she. I didn't see the point of stressing him out about it, causing a fight between them or putting him in a position between us. But I feel like he HAS to know something is wrong - I usually do go over to see her, etc. But yet this last week or so he keeps asking me to take DS there during the day. And because he keeps bringing that up, I feel like I have to tell him about the fight.
I should tell him right?
Re: Fight with MIL
What did she say? How did you respond?
Per your story, it sounds like you both said some hurtful things? Is it safe to say you both fucked up? Do you want to maintain a civil relationship with her? Does she have a history of saying hurtful, disrespectful things?
Definitely give more details. But yeah, you have to tell your husband.
And if the latter was the case, she needed to be roped in and told to cut it out a long time ago.
Yes, tell your H "your mother and I had a fight" and then tell him what happened minus any she-said she-said details. Just the facts. GL.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
It's his mother and you are his wife. This affects his family dynamic, so YES you HAVE to tell him. He has to know for all kinds of reasons but most importantly he needs to understand what in heck is going on.
Do you two have a communication problem? Yes, yes you do!!