Q(s)OTD 8/26

minionlover

You are good friends with both Jack and Jill who are married.  You find out for a fact that Jack is cheating on Jill. 

1. Do you tell Jill at the risk of losing your friendship? 
2. If Jill stopped being friends with you and later came back to apologize, would you still want to be friends with her?
3. What would you do about your friendship with Jack?
4. Would you want Jill to tell you if your husband was cheating on you?

ramstein1027

Whoa that is a tough one.  I am no moral authority by any means, but I am inclined to think that it wouldn't be my place to tell?  I'm torn...If this happened in real life, I'd probably feel so awkward and guilty I would distance myself from them (not that I think that would help, I just know I would feel weird/anxious about it).  As for the last question, I would be upset if I found out Jill knew my husband was cheating on me and never said anything, but it would be tough to hear regardless.  

I guess I don't have a good answer.  I know for a fact though that I'd be praying extra prayers for them in this situation.  I hope this never happens to me or any of us!!!! 

mana8503

1. Really depends on how close I am to Jill.  Unless we are BFFs for many many years, otherwise I'd butt out. 

2. If she killed the messager, I'd give her some slack and take her back as a friend when the dust cleared.

3. I'd probably back away from Jack, but if they worked it out, then fine and good.  That's their personal business, not mine.  If she's cool with him, than me too.  I've lost friends because H and I were going through a bad time and I went to them for help.  They wrote H off even after we worked through it and were good.  It's probably why I don't say sh!t to anyone in IRL if things are hard... and why I do on here haha.

4.  Again, I probably wouldn't trust her unless we were BFFs, for many many years.  We had to deal with that drama with H's ex early in our relationship. 

snuff9861

Wow.

1) A part of me would want to tell Jill just based on the simple fact that she deserves to know. Another part of me would butt out since it's none of my business.

2) I would cut Jill some slack. She's more than likely just upset and needs space. If she was genuinely back for friendship then I would probably be waiting for her with open arms.

3) I don't know how I feel towards Jack. Cheating is kind of a deal breaker but there's always two sides to every story.

4) I would absolutely want to be told. I'd hate for one of my friends to know and not be able to tell me.

goatlady12

This is always to tricky.

1) If one of my best friends yes.  If not I may hint that I heard something to make her suspicious enough to look into things herself. 

2)Absolutely, emotions can overcome people and make them do really stupid things.  But I would be really butt-hurt about.

3) It depends on if I ever really likes Jack to begin with.  Or if he's friends with DH.  If I didn't like him and never have to see him again, then he can go f himself.

4) 5 million times yes.

xxjen015

I think I agree with Seipel for the most part. 

1. If it's a good friend, I'd tell her. Gently, of course. If we weren't really close, I'd also probably hint around. Or consider telling her because if she did react poorly and we weren't that close...it wouldn't be as big of a blow to me. I feel like I should be willing to take that risk because she deserves to know.

2. I'd forgive, but there would be that whole not able to forget thing. I understand I'd be the messenger so I'm sure there'd be some blowback on me, but still.

3. Depends. I've had a good friend cheat on her SO (a bf, not a husband, not that it makes it any better) and it didn't impact our friendship, but I also wasn't a fan of her SO. I think it depends on how close we were before, the reasoning, and my situation with Jill.

4. Yes, absolutely.