Are you pregnant?

bpphoto785

Why do people think it's okay to ask this?

I've been asked twice this year if I'm pregnant, once over the winter and again today. DEFINITELY NOT! And these haven't been little kids being cute, both times it's been adult women, who apparently don't know any better. I get that I'm not a skinny gal, but I don't think my gut is so disproportionate that I look pregnant and certainly not pregnant enough that someone should ask.

What would you say to such a question? I feel like I should be prepared for next time.

WendyGR

I would say "no, are you?"

pengy16

I saw this on pinterest the other day because I get this all the time too. Every single time I talk to my best friend she asks. 

chrisnjay05212010

so fricken annoying!!!!!!  i would love to know why people think its ok to ask this question!

Sillygirl45

Oh my! I'm so sorry! I stopped getting that question at work after I said we were not having kids because they are sticky. People who get my humor thought it was funny, those who don't are just glad I'm not having kids! My nephew asked my SIL this and she said, "No honey, I'm fat". I died laughing. Probably because I'm not a stick myself and feel her pain. I guess I would say "No, but you'll certainly be then FIRST to know!" Dripping in sarcasm. I do love sarcasm though!

Sillygirl45

You are adorable by the way!

lynnirene

I feel your pain! I do think that most of my friends know better than to ask me anymore, but I have a feeling that sometimes, in certain shirts, people look at my belly and wonder. And, if I am feeling icky, people have asked if I was pregnant a number of times--the ironic thing is, my sickness is often due to my period!

queenofhearts1728

I used to get this when I worked in retail. I'm fairly thin, but I have a tendency to get REALLY bloated when I eat gluten... so strangers would sometimes ask me, even the occasional coworker who KNEW i didn't look like that 10 minutes prior.

bpphoto785

Thanks ladies! You made me feel a better

@queenofhearts1728 TMI but I am due for my monthly visit so I'm definitely bloated. I can only imagine what she would have asked if she had heard me say how badly I'm craving chocolate!

Melissa51212

Hi Friend!!! @bbphoto785   I gotten this a few times because the only place i really carry my weight is in the waist area, i wish I had something clever, they actually usually are more embarrassed when it happens! ugh! 

MrMrs

Gosh why do people even think it's ok to ask? I don't really have a good response either. I get neurotic sometimes and I worry that someone is *thinking* it and I wonder what to say. How can something that is *not* happen hijack my life like that? I like the "kids are sticky" mentality! There are several pregnant women in my office so I think that's why it's on my mind more.
While I'm babbling, @bbphoto785, I like your Fenway photo! Are you from the area or were you visiting from out of town? I am super new here but I have posted on another thread with this board and one of my reasons in lurking here is to see if there any get togethers on the horizon. That's why I got excited to see a local landmark. Our circle of friends is changing (and sometimes shrinking) due to the kids thing, so I'm on board with meeting new like minded people.
Hope everyone's having a good long weekend!

kipnus

We visited my in-laws a couple weeks ago, and that was the first thing MIL said to me: "Are you pregnant!?" My jaw just dropped, and H was like, "Mama! You can't say that!" Then she sort of backtracked and was like, "Well, you look so good, and I want grandchildren!"

Later on, H had a little discussion with her about us not wanting biological children and our plans to adopt in a few years. She was sort of ok with it. The next day, she told me that I shouldn't have looked so offended at the question, because being pregnant is good, and that I should think about having biological children before adopting. She totally didn't get why I'd be offended!

chrisnjay05212010

kipnus said:

We visited my in-laws a couple weeks ago, and that was the first thing MIL said to me: "Are you pregnant!?" My jaw just dropped, and H was like, "Mama! You can't say that!" Then she sort of backtracked and was like, "Well, you look so good, and I want grandchildren!"

Later on, H had a little discussion with her about us not wanting biological children and our plans to adopt in a few years. She was sort of ok with it. The next day, she told me that I shouldn't have looked so offended at the question, because being pregnant is good, and that I should think about having biological children before adopting. She totally didn't get why I'd be offended!

shaking me head at this part! i get the same type of thing when we say we dont want children, like our opinions dont matter, we dont know what we are talking about. Makes me even more angry.

queenofhearts1728

chrisnjay05212010 said:

kipnus said:

We visited my in-laws a couple weeks ago, and that was the first thing MIL said to me: "Are you pregnant!?" My jaw just dropped, and H was like, "Mama! You can't say that!" Then she sort of backtracked and was like, "Well, you look so good, and I want grandchildren!"

Later on, H had a little discussion with her about us not wanting biological children and our plans to adopt in a few years. She was sort of ok with it. The next day, she told me that I shouldn't have looked so offended at the question, because being pregnant is good, and that I should think about having biological children before adopting. She totally didn't get why I'd be offended!

shaking me head at this part! i get the same type of thing when we say we dont want children, like our opinions dont matter, we dont know what we are talking about. Makes me even more angry.

Oh gosh. You'd think she'd be happy that you wanted children at all! Adopting is a great choice!

I usually get some sort of suggestion as to how I could become a parent when I say I don't want to have kids.  Adoption is usually presented first, and when I say I don't want to adopt either, Foster Parenting is the next "solution".

bpphoto785

I LOVE it when people offer "solutions" to not wanting kids like it's a problem that needs solving.

I hate it when people ask (because it's any of their business) and I tell them we're not financially ready, and they tell me we never will be, so we should just do it. I'm always insulted like they don't think I know how to manage my money. Are YOU going to pay their childcare bill? stay home with them so we can both work? I didn't think so!

bpphoto785

MrMrs said:

Gosh why do people even think it's ok to ask? I don't really have a good response either. I get neurotic sometimes and I worry that someone is *thinking* it and I wonder what to say. How can something that is *not* happen hijack my life like that? I like the "kids are sticky" mentality! There are several pregnant women in my office so I think that's why it's on my mind more.
While I'm babbling, @bbphoto785, I like your Fenway photo! Are you from the area or were you visiting from out of town? I am super new here but I have posted on another thread with this board and one of my reasons in lurking here is to see if there any get togethers on the horizon. That's why I got excited to see a local landmark. Our circle of friends is changing (and sometimes shrinking) due to the kids thing, so I'm on board with meeting new like minded people.
Hope everyone's having a good long weekend!

We're kind of in the area. We live in MA but on the opposite side of the state. We visit Boston a lot though as many of our college friends live there.

queenofhearts1728

bpphoto785 said:

I LOVE it when people offer "solutions" to not wanting kids like it's a problem that needs solving.

I hate it when people ask (because it's any of their business) and I tell them we're not financially ready, and they tell me we never will be, so we should just do it. I'm always insulted like they don't think I know how to manage my money. Are YOU going to pay their childcare bill? stay home with them so we can both work? I didn't think so!

Sillygirl45

I like the comments about people wanting to "fix" someone not wanting kids. That is so true and so funny. I had a much older male co worker go off on a sermon to me one day that involved the unmarried being blind to the joys of parenting because God is saving that until He reveals it to the married...IT WAS AWFUL!!! And really weird. And confusing. I'm not sure HE knew what he was talking about. All I could think was, dude, I'm 32, I think I can make my own decisions. Seriously, lay off. Creepy.

lnrietzel

My friend and I have a joke, we have "food babies".  If we get asked that question, I just stick out my gut and say "Yup, Im preggers with a burrito baby".  It normally stops the conversation or gets a laugh, lol =D

bpphoto785

Of course I see this woman again today while I'm stuffing my face with a burrito and wearing a maxi dress! I definitely got the "are you sure you're not pregnant" look. I wanted to POAS and throw it at her! :-L

CnmH

My husband & I dated for 4 1/2 years before we got engaged & everyone assumed it was because I was pregnant!