Dry Spell...Advice needed!

Cupcake0629

Hi ladies!  I'm new here to TN and I need some advice.  My husband and I just got married about three months ago.  Since about two months before the wedding, our sex life has pretty much been non-existent.  Everything was great before then and now we are lucky to have sex once a month.  I know this isn't normal but I'm not sure how to pull us out of this dry spell.  I know we are both at fault and we've talked about it a couple times but nothing seems to change.  We've both been really busy and we also just got a puppy not too long ago so I know all of that contributes as well.

Has anyone else gone through anything like this?

oldbugle

.....Well there must be some 'pointers'......normal healthy newlyweds don't suddenly give up on an active sex life for five months without a reason.........So, what are the circumstances of the situation?

...........What happened at the time you stopped?.......was there a disagreement?....did you start working at the fish glue factory?.......did you find him in bed with another woman?....was that the time he told you he was probably gay?.......What exactly?

.....Amd it has absolutely nothing to do with the pup unless he sleeps between you!

Cupcake0629

oldbugle said:

.....Well there must be some 'pointers'......normal healthy newlyweds don't suddenly give up on an active sex life for five months without a reason.........So, what are the circumstances of the situation?

...........What happened at the time you stopped?.......was there a disagreement?....did you start working at the fish glue factory?.......did you find him in bed with another woman?....was that the time he told you he was probably gay?.......What exactly?

.....Amd it has absolutely nothing to do with the pup unless he sleeps between you!

Nothing of real consequence happened.  Our wedding involved an incredibly stressful planning process and I think it finally took it's toll on us in the way of sex.  When we went on our honeymoon everything seemed like it was back to normal again.  Unfortunately, though, when we got home it was back to dry spell.  

I know we've both been under a lot of pressure with our careers and trying to fix up our house (since the people before us left it horrible mess).  

P.S. The "fish glue factory" one made me laugh 

oldbugle

.........Well the house thing can be horrible as we know.     As a sort of 'relationship band-aid' you could try the following which worked well for us;......get one of those clockwork kitchen timers and decide a time every day/evening...then, set the timer for 30 minutes and get on his lap in a big chair and stroke and cuddle each other until the time goes off when you both jump up and get back to work.    Conditions are as follows;....NO talk about work/house/money/sex/inlaws etc etc is allowed. There is to be NO sex just cuddles and stroking and kissing....When the timer goes off you get straight up with no complaining...

........Try this for two weeks and see what happens.

Cupcake0629

I've been trying to think of ways of taking time out for us and this is simple and perfect!  Thank you so much for the idea! 

arhayden1

that is an amazing idea  

M8790

I think this is normal! And yes it does happen and you will go through many more dry spells.

It could be something within your relationship or it could just be what it typically is, which is people are tired and they know they can have sex at anytime which makes it a little less exciting.

My husband and I had sex way less often while we were engaged and then even the honeymoon was not what I expected. After all the wedding stuff and newness of the marriage, our sex actually got better than what it was before. 

Stress kills your sex drive. And major life changes, AKA marriage, is a stressor. There are such things as good and bad stress and usually its both.

The best thing to do is to talk about this and agree together to try a few new things or just commit some time to it. It may not be mindblowing at first, but you'll get back into the routine and after that you can spice it up. This is something you need to keep up with forever. When you notice a lull, talk about it. You will get through this!